You ever have a moment in time that seems frozen, where everything stops and gives you a chance to take it all in and really notice what's going on? I had one of them last night. I was at the ole after yoga "lets undo all that good we just did" hangout aka Glory Days. I had taught a very silly class (sorry Kris) and we had worked our selves out real good so we were all pretty giddy. Yoga does that you know, works out the kinks so you can feel giddy. Anyway, I'm there with 5 of my favorite people in the world and everyone's chatting and laughing and then time stopped.
It was like I was outside of myself looking at ourselves. Now I've had this happen many, many times in yoga, meditation, tai chi, but rarely at a restaurant with friends. Almost as if in slow motion, I watched them laughing, sharing, just enjoying each other's company. I started thinking about how each of us have bonded in so many different ways and how much affection I have for each of them. I realized that in that moment I was blissfully happy. And then I realized how far I have come.
I have changed so much in the last couple of years, especially in the last couple of months. I feel much more confident, more in my skin, more accepting of myself and therefore, way more accepting of others. I am beginning to see that I have true value--not because of what I do for others--but because of who I am. I still beat myself up regularly but I also stop and realize how unneccessary that is. How counterproductive. I cut myself some slack, not having to be perfect all the time and especially not having to be all things to all people. I think I have gotten way better at understand what are my problems and what are others and am learning to let others deal with theirs without my interference.
I am softer. I am much happier with myself. I have an idea of who that is now. And *cliche* I like that girl. I don't know how it happened or when but it's there. But I do know that it is a combination of the love and acceptance I have recieved from these wonderful people in my life and all the work I have done with yoga, reiki, and spiritual studies. If you had the slightest idea from where I've come to where I've gone--you'd be amazed like me too.
I woke up this morning and my first thought was, "Yay! I wonder what this day will hold!" And I smiled. I realized that even though my next thought was "UGH....you shouldn't have eaten those cheese fries!" that most days I just wake up happy with a sense of anticipation just like when I was a very young girl. Doesn't matter that by the afternoon I may be grumpy and cursing the skies--it's a gift to know that everyday is a new day with new chances to explore and live.
So there you go. My sappy post that Rhia will mock. Ha Ha! But it's true. I am spending more and more time filled with wonder at all the gifts the Universe has given me--the gift of teaching and learning, the gift of intuition and sight, the gift of love and kindness and wisdom. Yay God! You rock!
(Now look, if my next post is whiny and bitchy--don't get bunched about my being bi-polar! Like the "success" tarot card explains:
Because of your willingness to accept the recent challenges of life, you are now enjoying a wonderful ride on the tiger of success. Welcome it, enjoy it, and share your joy with others--and remember that all bright parades have a beginning and an end. If you keep this in mind, and squeeze every drop of juice out of the happiness you are experiencing now, you will be able to take the future as its comes without regrets. But don't be tempted to try to hold on to this abundant moment, or coat it in plastic so that it lasts forever. The greatest wisdom to keep in mind with all the phenomena in the parade of your life, whether they be valleys or peaks, is that 'this too will pass'. Celebrate, yes, and keep on riding the tiger. http://www.osho.com/
Take a moment today and look around. Are you in a peak or a valley? This too shall pass.....
It was like I was outside of myself looking at ourselves. Now I've had this happen many, many times in yoga, meditation, tai chi, but rarely at a restaurant with friends. Almost as if in slow motion, I watched them laughing, sharing, just enjoying each other's company. I started thinking about how each of us have bonded in so many different ways and how much affection I have for each of them. I realized that in that moment I was blissfully happy. And then I realized how far I have come.
I have changed so much in the last couple of years, especially in the last couple of months. I feel much more confident, more in my skin, more accepting of myself and therefore, way more accepting of others. I am beginning to see that I have true value--not because of what I do for others--but because of who I am. I still beat myself up regularly but I also stop and realize how unneccessary that is. How counterproductive. I cut myself some slack, not having to be perfect all the time and especially not having to be all things to all people. I think I have gotten way better at understand what are my problems and what are others and am learning to let others deal with theirs without my interference.
I am softer. I am much happier with myself. I have an idea of who that is now. And *cliche* I like that girl. I don't know how it happened or when but it's there. But I do know that it is a combination of the love and acceptance I have recieved from these wonderful people in my life and all the work I have done with yoga, reiki, and spiritual studies. If you had the slightest idea from where I've come to where I've gone--you'd be amazed like me too.
I woke up this morning and my first thought was, "Yay! I wonder what this day will hold!" And I smiled. I realized that even though my next thought was "UGH....you shouldn't have eaten those cheese fries!" that most days I just wake up happy with a sense of anticipation just like when I was a very young girl. Doesn't matter that by the afternoon I may be grumpy and cursing the skies--it's a gift to know that everyday is a new day with new chances to explore and live.
So there you go. My sappy post that Rhia will mock. Ha Ha! But it's true. I am spending more and more time filled with wonder at all the gifts the Universe has given me--the gift of teaching and learning, the gift of intuition and sight, the gift of love and kindness and wisdom. Yay God! You rock!
(Now look, if my next post is whiny and bitchy--don't get bunched about my being bi-polar! Like the "success" tarot card explains:
Because of your willingness to accept the recent challenges of life, you are now enjoying a wonderful ride on the tiger of success. Welcome it, enjoy it, and share your joy with others--and remember that all bright parades have a beginning and an end. If you keep this in mind, and squeeze every drop of juice out of the happiness you are experiencing now, you will be able to take the future as its comes without regrets. But don't be tempted to try to hold on to this abundant moment, or coat it in plastic so that it lasts forever. The greatest wisdom to keep in mind with all the phenomena in the parade of your life, whether they be valleys or peaks, is that 'this too will pass'. Celebrate, yes, and keep on riding the tiger. http://www.osho.com/
Take a moment today and look around. Are you in a peak or a valley? This too shall pass.....
PS. Went to Osho right after I wrote this and picked a card:
Maturity:The distinction between the grasses and the blossoms is the same as between you not knowing that you are a buddha, and the moment you know that you are a buddha. In fact, there is no way to be otherwise. Buddha is completely blossomed, fully opened. His lotuses, his petals, have come to a completion.... Certainly, to be full of spring yourself is far more beautiful than the autumn dew falling on the lotus leaves. That is one of the most beautiful things to watch: when autumn dew falls on the lotus leaves and shine in the morning sun like real pearls. But of course it is a momentary experience. As the sun rises, the autumn dew starts evaporating.... This temporary beauty cannot be compared, certainly, with an eternal spring in your being. You look back as far as you can and it has always been there. You look forward as much as you can, and you will be surprised: it is your very being. Wherever you are it will be there, and the flowers will continue to shower on you. This is spiritual spring.
Osho No Mind: The Flowers of Eternity Chapter 5
Commentary:
This figure stands alone, silent and yet alert. The inner being is filled with flowers--that carry the quality of springtime and regenerate wherever he goes. This inner flowering and the wholeness that he feels affords the possibility of unlimited movement. He can move in any direction--within and without it makes no difference as his joy and and maturity cannot be diminished by externals. He has come to a time of centeredness and expansiveness--the white glow around the figure is his protection and his light. All of life's experiences have brought him to this time of perfection. When you draw this card, know well this moment carries a gift--for hard work well done. Your base is solid now and success and good fortune are yours for they are the outcome of what has already been experienced within.
Took me years....but I love this card!
This figure stands alone, silent and yet alert. The inner being is filled with flowers--that carry the quality of springtime and regenerate wherever he goes. This inner flowering and the wholeness that he feels affords the possibility of unlimited movement. He can move in any direction--within and without it makes no difference as his joy and and maturity cannot be diminished by externals. He has come to a time of centeredness and expansiveness--the white glow around the figure is his protection and his light. All of life's experiences have brought him to this time of perfection. When you draw this card, know well this moment carries a gift--for hard work well done. Your base is solid now and success and good fortune are yours for they are the outcome of what has already been experienced within.
Took me years....but I love this card!
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