So many thoughts, so little time.... pt. 2

Well, here we are. Thanksgiving is done. Other than 15 more pounds of turkey of course. Also, of course, there's been a revolving door of kids around due to Rhia being home so food goes much quicker LOL. We had a large fire last night so the smell of smoke still lingers in the air. It feels like the first time we've been home alone for days. Cory's upstairs playing the guitar and singing, Rhia randomly joins in from the living room, Barry's putzing around the yard and I just got out of the shower and am deciding which direction to go in. Everywhere I look there is some work to be done but I don't feel any great pressure to do it. So I blog.

Home. aka Sanctuary. The place where occasionally you look around and realize your past, your present and your future. What's real. What's important. The place where you can exhale.

Sometimes life feels so hurried. I tend to feel like I have to do this so I can do that which will make this happen so I won't have to have that happen. You know. Every now and then I get a moment where I don't have to do anything. And then it's impossible to decide. Well, if I don't have to do anything, what would I do? It's perplexing.

Feels like in a perfect world, if you could do whatever you wanted to do without consequence, you would just sit and eat and drink and laugh and love. Which is what I do. Well except there are consequences. Sigh. So then the shoulds come in.

I should exercise.
I should eat better.
I should meditate.
I should get my work done.
I should clean up the kitchen.
I should think of something for dinner and go get it and make it.
I should finish the Christmas decorating.
I should, I should, I should.

So Rhia and I watch the birds. And wander around. And I go to the windows where Barry is working and make faces at him. ........

So... yeah... we just slithered on the ground and hid behind the wall to the window he was working on and waiting an interminable time for him to get involved in his task so we could jump up and SCARE HIM!!!! Only it didn't. So dejectedly, we walk away.

And yes. This is what we choose to do with our time....

The Challenge continues

Peyton Conway March once said,

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"There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life - happiness, freedom and peace of mind - are always attained by giving them to someone else."

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It never ceases to amaze me how true this statement is. Take yesterday, for example. I posted the Grateful Challenge in the hopes of giving other's the opportunity to feel gratitude in their hearts, to take a minute and realize that no matter what your circumstances, you can always find something to be grateful for.

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What I didn't expect was how heartwarming it would be to see the answers. One girl wrote 100 things, right off the bat. And she's just 22 years old. Imagine at that age being able to have the ability to REALLY look beyond yourself and be happy for what you have received. I don't know at 22 if I could have done that... unfortunately, I was probably more concerned with what I didn't have :( than all the riches that I did have. Thank goodness God is forgiving. Anyway, here's some of the answers I've received:

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1. my breath2. my family3. my friends4. red wine5. chai6. yoga7. the Earth’s bounty8. a heart that somehow manages to remain open9. moving beyond the pain10. meditation (I’m thankful for it, but it doesn’t mean I love it - it’s excruciating sometimes.)11. the healing arts12. organic dark chocolate13. my path14. lessons learned the hard way15. learning hard lessons the easy way16. sushi places that use brown rice17. heart to heart conversations that lead to “aha” moments18. turning points19. reduced cynicism20. openness to see the world through different lenses21. folks who have the courage to put themselves in harms way for the greater good22. the shift I believe is happening in the Collective Consciousness23. America growing into her potential greatness24. the rhythms of nature25. clothes that fit a little looser this year1 Family2 friend3 freedom4 choice5 being able to trust in people6love8 laughter9 chinese food10 my bedroom11 good boots12 the snooze button14 warm blanket15 church16being able to learn17 bullet proof glass18 being able to call home19 cheezits20 dvd's21my sense of humor22 the internet so i can talk to those i love23 people who will send cookies to a random soldier24 honor25 the ability to love1 My husband Bruce2 My 3 wonderful daughters3 My friends4 My home5 My work6 My homeschool group TLCI7 Our cat Princess8 My family in The Netherlands9 Barely being affected by the economic slump10 Getting a new President (yeah!)11 Church choir12 Running, even when the weather is below freezing13 Nice meals to cook14 A glass of wine in the evening15 Making real wood fires in the fireplace16 Volunteering at the food bank17 Taking long walks (like Volksmarches if you know what they are)18 my PT Cruiser19 Stamping cards20 Playing Bananagrams21 Watching Becca perform in the Nutcracker22 the many blessings I receive every day24 God's amazing presence 25 inner peace 26. blogs27. blog buddies28. my "daughter"29. finding balance30. hassle free hair31. the holiday spirit32. synchronicity33. books34. internet access35. my Blackberry (what would I do without it?)36. flex time37. my body surprising me in yoga class38. 4 day weekends39. ginger peach candles40. knowing the value of "elbow grease"41. not having to use it42. Whole Foods43. Trader Joe's44. My Organic Market45. the surprise of finding favorite products at Safeway46. not having to do Black Friday this year47. Linda (wow! sorry it took so long)48. laughter49. Tonya (my holistic health counselor and mentor)50. Phoenix Rising1. Matt2. My parents3. other assorted family4. the whole Miller family5. my puppy6. my cats7. a warm house8. cell phone9. a working car10. laughter11. knitting needles12. yarn13. my imagination14. renn fest15. tissues16. snowball17. technology18. my brain19. doctors20. being able to have a choice21. healthy food options22. not so healthy food options23. warm sweaters24. long walks25. a misty weathered day26. twilight (the time of day and the book series)27. yoga28. cozy blankets to snuggle in29. inside jokes30. theatre31. dance32. text messaging33. freedom of expression34. farmers markets35. downtown annapolis36. christmas trees & hanukkah bushes37. hugs38. family values39. a strong belief in what's right40. a voice41. being loved42. small children43. intelligent conversations44. cameras45. picture frames46. sales (on anything)47. the media48. recordable cds49. movies50. mostly clean air51. gwynne and kyle52. those overseas who should be home 53. health of my family (especially my father)54. tears 55. reiki56. medication to heal ailments57. a good massage58. books59. vegetables (but not peas or beans) (or brussel sprouts)60. italian food61. homecooked food62. being able to smile63. swimming pools64. hairbrushes65. campfires66. moving body parts67. motivation68. teachers69. knowledge70. learning new things71. cookies72. artists73. disney princesses74. leaves75. mentors76. greenmen77. faeries78. airplanes79. police officers80. nutcrackers81. ramen soup82. warm summer night83. fresh picked flowers84. daisies85. getting my back scratched86. life87. the possiblity of giving life88. the air we breathe89. multiple choices for the clothing on my back90. linda's margaritas91. kisses92. acorns93. firefighters94. ice cream95. The Helfers96. The Connolly's97. The Thorpes98. being able to love99. friendship100. All of my friends and loved ones1. my husband2. my beautiful boys3. my big sister4. family and friends5. God6. a nice warm home to come to7. a job8. Love9. food on the table10. medications that work11. the warmth of my fireplace12. my dog13. my car14. laughter15. snow16. quiet17. movies18. my computer19. the ability to taste, smell, feel, see, etc.20. flowers21. red wine22. seafood23. beaches24. mountains25. Heaven

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Wow. Sorry for the way Blogger copies and pastes but it sort of seems right somehow.

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Wow. By giving I have received so much. How heartwarming and delightful people are.

Today's Challenge: Name 25 Things you are grateful for by Thursday!

My 25 (not necessarily in any order :) ):

1. My Life
2. Barry
3. Cory
4. Rhia
5. God
6. Reiki
7. Yoga
8. My Students
9. My Friends
10. My Family.... where ever they are
11. Suki
12. Wine
13. Insights
14. Great Books
15. Trees
16. The Big Beautiful Sky
17. Turkeys
18. Wind
19. Therapy
20. Health
21. Tarot
22. Knowledge
23. Empathy
24. Jenny
25. My Home

Now, where's yours? The challenge is 25-- Bonus for 100!
Love to All!

While the Mice were Away....

So, Cory went to get Rhia at Montreat this weekend. While they were away:

Barry & I hung out on the couch....

I played London Bridge with the animals.


Barry smudged the house with our new Smudge Sticks...

Dude. What'd you think?

So many choices, so little time...

I find myself still in unable to get motivated mode. Fortunately, lots of people have been wanting Reiki and coming to Yoga so I've been crazy busy. Trouble is, when I'm not crazy busy I have trouble making myself crazy busy. You know?

The concept of my work distracting me from my work is silly. It's that putting on this hat and that hat thing. My to do list is never gonna to be a done list. It's interesting that I used to be able to manage a 25 person office and know on any given day what was in any persons to do list and now I can't even FIND my own list. This old age absentmindedness combined with the hormonal silliness (don't EVEN get me started) combined with all the electronic hoo ha to take care of and my parenting now spread all over the country (umm, ok, slight exaggeration) and the "go with the flow" lifestyle that yoga and meditation are so good at producing has made it extremely difficult for me to complete a single task completely.

You know the drill. You sit down to check your mail, which can be an all day thing somedays just trying to respond to all the email and blogs and comments but sooner or later you have to eat and you notice there is no food so you go to the store but while you are looking for your purse you realize you haven't been to the bank so you need to get your deposit ready but when you pull the drawer with all your banking stuff you realize it is stuffed with well.... stuff... so it is in immediate need of being organized so you begin that but just as you are surrounded with 25 piles of well.... stuff... you get a phone call that you MUST take that ends up being an hour long and you find yourself doing laundry and washing dishes but just as you get the piles of laundry sorted you realize it's time for your next class so you leave the whole big mess to teach which completely chills you out and then you come home and need to just check your mail real quick which turns into a quick glance at Facebook and the next thing you know 2 hours has passed while you are desperately trying to save the rainforest by taking care of everyones green patch and oh my lordy, it's time for dinner. But you never made it to the store... so it looks like it's gonna be pizza which reminds you that you REALLY need to work out so you begin to put your exercise clothes on but you didn't get to do the laundry so you don't have any clean ones and ewww, who is gonna exercise in previously exercised in clothes? so you go back to the utility room to finish the laundry but guess what? Of course, there's no laundry detergent. And you never went to the store. So you decide to make a list. Which brings you back to the drawer... and you see the piles of unorganized stuff and you feel overwhelmed so you decide maybe gardening would clear your mind...

So. Um...Honey? That's why the house and yard look the way they do.

But I don't have time to take care of it right now cause I have to make some new eye pillows cause I promised Fabian House I would get them there today. Or tomorrow. Sigh.

The Beach

Had a perfectly wonderful, marvelous, relaxing weekend. Went to Jenny's Place in Fenwick. The weather was supposed to be wretched but much to our surprise and delight the clouds broke and it was warm and sunny on Saturday. We were wandering around Rehobeth in sweaters and were.... well, sweating it was so nice! Even on the beach. Very windy on the bay though so we couldn't get our canoe ride in but oh well, we went to the movies instead. Yes, you read that right we went to the movies! I haven't been to the movies since the last Star Wars movie came out. We saw The Secret Lives of Bees which was one of my most favorite books. Cried our eyes out. We were not alone. Course Barry was counting the other men in the theater watching this "chick flick".... It was easy cause we were in Rehobeth so there were many man there. Together. Tee Hee. I love it there, everyone is so accepting of one another.

We had fabulous meals and much time to just hang and chat since we had no computers and no tv. Ahhh. Makes you wonder why you don't just throw yours away at home... life is so much easier without them. Course you wouldn't be seeing this blog if we did so I guess there's a trade off.

Oh to live at the beach. The wind, the waves, the sights and smells. I am truly alive there. Everything else pales in comparison. One day......

Working Through Injury

One of the hardest things for me as a yoga teacher has been learning when to teach and when to step aside and allow the teaching to occur on its own. It is a constant lesson in letting go. Especially when your students have been with you for a long time, it is difficult when you see them making decisions and doing things that will ultimately hurt them in the long run. I know from experience that many times, if I interfere with the lesson at hand, the lesson will not be learned.

Take for example a student who has injured themselves. Having been there myself, I know how hard it is to step back and continue practicing at the level you are now, not where you were. It takes patience. And perseverance. And you will probably hurt yourself a few more times before you get it. That is the lesson of the injury. The problem steps in when, in frustration, you stop practicing. And the ego begins to tell you that the real problem is not the injury or more importantly, the reason you were injured to begin with... the ego says noooo, it's not you.... it's the YOGA... it's the teacher.... it's anything but the lesson of truly learning to honor yourself and your body. That damn ego. It always wants whatever brings you away from enlightenment... because it's the death of it, you know?

This is hard to watch. Because then the whole snowball effect takes place. People don't always realize all the benefits of yoga. They think it's just about that one hour. You work out, you rest, you go drink a beer. Sort of like how some people handle church... check the box Christians I've heard them called. I went to yoga so now I should be cured. So why does my back hurt? It obviously has nothing to do with the five hundred times the teacher told me to pull my belly in to protect my back and not try to force my head to the floor noooooooooooo.... she must be an inadequate teacher, making me hurt myself like that. Or, I haven't been to yoga for weeks, why am I still in pain, in fact WORSE and why is it that I am getting sick all the time and more importantly, why do I want to kill my family and kick my dog?

Right now, I have quite a few yogis who have injured themselves. Most, not during yoga but they keep aggravating the injury during yoga. It's metal season, our bones are creaking, it's time to cut the practice back a bit... not by not going but by taking it a little easier on ourselves. This is the time that separates the men from the boys so to speak. I have one student from World Gym who is a regular AND I mean, regular... she never misses yoga unless she is out of town or something major has occurred. Poor thing tweaked her knee raking and has really been suffering. She's had to modify all of her poses to accommodate it. She's frustrated but she knows. She's stopped going to the muscle conditioning class before, walking the treadmill instead but she hasn't missed a yoga class. Why? She's experienced enough to know that the lesson is IN the injury... by keeping up her practice, modifying and accepting where her feet are TODAY, tomorrow she will be better. And I can bet you she will heal in record time. I can also tell you she's past 60..... Her doctors are always astounded at her, I am always astounded at her, she is one of my most flexible students...

But she knows. I have some other not so regulars who have been dealing with injuries for months, some even for years. They would be very pissed to read this. The ego would say oh that teacher.... she just thinks she knows it all, lets see her deal with this pain.... Oh. Gulp. That's right, she did. We saw it. Well, she's just lucky-- or worse... she's not really doing the yoga anyway. Such a shame. I feel so bad for them. But I do think they will get it eventually. The problem is when you've had to learn the lesson a few times, the ego fights a bit harder to win. It gets a bit uglier. And it conspires to give you all kinds of excuses why you can't/shouldn't/mustn't practice. Which then perpetuates itself because the longer you stay out of yoga, the harder it is to get things moving again... the harder it is to keep your moods regulated and keep yourself motivated...the harder it is to honor where you are NOW because it will not be any where near where you were. At least for a couple classes.

Sigh. Life teaches hard lessons. I just keep throwing out my seeds. And praying.

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud became more painful than the risk to blossom... Anais Nin

Clearing the Inbox

I give up. I am going to quietly accept the fact that I will never have an empty inbox again. I deleted over 400 emails in the last 2 days. I have over 400 left. What ever. Enough.

However, my endeavor turned up some very interesting and thought provoking stuff. Like:

You can always tell an old soul, Linda, by how friendly they are to trees.
Very, very --- The Universe

"How can I be more like you?" she asked the guru. And the guru answered: "The best way to be more like me is to be more like you."
--Alan Cohen

You are perfect as you are, and you could use a little work.
Shunryu Suzuki-roshi (1905 - 1971)

Don't be concerned about being disloyal to your pain by being joyous.
--Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan

There is no way to peace. Peace is the way.
--A.J. Muste

I know God promises not to give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much.---Mother Teresa

And a favorite:

Eye to Eye

I have a private/semi private class on Thursdays. It's a gentle class and most times ends up just being me and one other student. She's an old friend of mine so lots of time we talk the hour away and never actually get to yogaing, cept maybe relaxation. I really enjoy that class. We talk deeply, eye to eye, about how we feel... not just how we are.

I was thinking this morning how important that is. Most conversations in our busy life consist of

"hi, how are you?"
"fine"
"good, see ya!"

Sometimes we go into a run down of things happening in our lives, like an event calendar.

"well, we did this and little johnny did that and hubby has this going on...."

While searching in our purse for our keys. But I am lucky. Yoga, whether you do it or not, seems to bring about intimacy. There's just something about the sacredness of people breathing, really breathing together. The shared experiences during meditation. Even if you don't talk about what you experienced, there's a joining that occurs when all are focused on their energy, their breath, their spirit....Relaxing. After yoga, many times, no one leaves. They chatter, they commune and you hear words like "feel", "emotion", and words that describe feeling emotions. The more the students gather regularly, the more they talk. Before and after class. Sometimes it becomes hard to get them to start doing yoga.... LOL

My private/semi private student calls this mental yoga. I am so blessed that most of my friendships are with people who take some time to breathe now and again. My conversations tend to be a bit deeper with these people, we make eye contact, we let our shoulders down, we relate, sometimes we even allow quiet pauses and just sit together.... Mmmmm. One of the best things about a Restorative Yoga Day is the quietness within a group of people, eye contact and a smile says so much more than...

"well, we did this and little johnny did that and hubby......."

Can't wait for tomorrow! Ahhhh, realness. It's a beautiful thing.

Hope

Wow. Last night was incredible. At midnight, my son raises a glass of wine to toast a new beginning... to Hope. Rhia was on the live web cam celebrating, Barry & I, weeping, praying for healing and daring to dream.

I grew up on a street where my family and one other were the only "white" people. All of my friends were African American. We played together everyday. I never saw color. My mom and dad would probably be considered racist because they used politically incorrect words now and then but they never thought they were better than anyone else on the street. We were all just people. When my children were born, it was my fondest wish that they experience the same lack of color bias.... which was not to be.

In the last 10 years in my town there has been tremendous racial tension. My town has the reputation of whites being elitists who do not want "that element" in their schools. Us "white" folk are becoming the minority and there are quite a few "black" folk who are militant in their views that "they" will show "us." Our schools are battlefields, children acting out their parents emotions. It's been very sad. And shocking to me. I've had a really hard time feeling that I have been attacked and accused of feelings I didn't know I had.

In this election, once again, I didn't see color. I was a Hillary supporter because I love intelligence and contrary to many, I really like the Clintons. I think Bill Clinton was one of the greatest presidents we've ever had. I do not base my opinion of others on who they sleep with. When Hillary wasn't elected, I began to look into Barack Obama. After watching the debates and reading some of his speeches I was delighted to find the same principles that made me like the Clintons; intelligence, fairness, honoring life and realizing that power is not always about who has the bigger army... that negotiation and working with the rest of the world would be the best example of "power". Like Jesus, I believe that fighting is not the answer. Peace.... is always the answer.

Last night I wept. I was stunned at the depth of emotion. It hadn't occurred to me how important this was to African Americans until I was walking up to vote yesterday. Until my son came home from voting with tears in his eyes saying how he hoped this would make the African Americans realize that we are with them.... to heal this racial division and stop all the ugliness. To get rid of the idea that Americans don't care about the rest of the world, to eliminate the impression created after 9/11 that Americans are out to bomb and kill anyone that stands in their way no matter what the United Nations say. We were terrified all day that somehow, someway the election would be rigged and the American people would once again have to suck it up and deal when our vote didn't matter.

Change. Hope. I hadn't dared to dream.

The look in the eyes of the hundreds and thousands out in the streets, celebrating, weeping and hugging one another, regardless of race, leads me to believe I was not alone in my fears. And my joy.

While we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism and doubt and those who tell us we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:

Yes We Can.

Barack Obama
President-Elect of the United States of America

Celestine Prayer Project

On November 4, 2008, the United States will engage in what is undoubtedly an historic election.

Our experience over the last year tells us overwhelmingly that Prayer Works. We have prayerfully visualized that rogue nations such as North Korea and Iran act to become a part of the world community, and both have moved to comply with UN mandates. We have prayed for the Iraq war to move toward peace, and by all measures that is occurring. We have prayed that hurricanes would diminish in destructive force and have been blessed to see the winds decrease.

Now, all day tomorrow, November 4, help us prayerfully envision this election being one of the most efficient and fair and fully exercised of any in this nation's history. Beginning early in the morning, let's join together, connect with the one God of Love, and see all involved in this election exercise their rights without complication, and after the choice is made, see the country come together in unity to chart a course of progress that will resolve its many problems and reach its greatest potential.

Let's hold this image in our minds all day...until competion.

Feel the connection!

Saving Daylight

Ahhh. The clocks went back. I feel better. I've been feeling really poorly lately but now it's better.

November. Already. Or finally, depending on your perspective.

Vote.

And if you need help making your decision.... well, I guess we all know who I'd advise you to vote for. I'm a big fan of intelligence, compassion and hope. Vote your heart. Or your gut.

Have you seen the pictures of my daughter lately? Who is that? Wow.

My stuff at Fabian House is actually selling. Isn't that amazing? Had lunch there Friday... I really like the owners. So sweet.

Went to St. Michael's yesterday. Apparently the shop owners there haven't been keeping up with the newspapers. Or maybe they just read the style section.... Did you know that at St. Michael's they sell EXACTLY the same thing that I make? Only theirs is $45 more.... The male outfits were entertaining though. LOL

Been helping out some friends with Reiki who were having trouble breathing. Today it's me. How strange.

Vote. And then come to yoga and let it go.... What will be, will be. Que Sara, Que Sara... Hey, where Doris Day?

Enjoy the beauty all around you today... take a drive down old 450-- it's gorgeous!