Procrastinating...

I have too much stuff to do. I have to create the newsletter for March, prepare all the paperwork for auditions, do the laundry, take a shower, send about 50 emails, update the web site and make about 10 phone calls. That's just this morning. Why am I blogging? Oh like you've never procrastinated? hahaha....typical hostility from one who knows better.

So I finished "writing" the script for the new play yesterday. I actually should have put the finished in quotation marks since I don't think it will ever really be finished. M said we should call it "Work in Progress" since that's what it really is. The writing is in quotes because it's all adapted from the Bible and from lyrics to the songs in it so I can't really say I wrote it. I adapted it. Although that seems odd as well. Whatever I did, it was heart wrenching. It was powerful. It was a cleansing.

The interesting thing is that I really wanted to explore the human relationships and really showcase them and did so. So, last night after the family read it and we all discussed it, a news flash comes on TV about the recent controversy about Jesus and Mary Magdeleine and the possibility that their tombs had been found. And that **gasp** they may have had a baby! Oooo aaaah.....and how that just throws the whole Christian religion off and proves that Jesus wasn't the Messiah and bladey blah blah....

Am I the only one who thinks this is much ado about nothing? I mean really, does it really matter all that much if Jesus was "involved" with Mary Mag? And how in the heck can your faith be ruined if He did? I mean, is faith dependent on celibacy? Personally, the only reason I returned to Christianity after my long search for other answers was because of Jesus' humanness. I just can't possibly believe in that kind of unattainable perfection that the Old Testament requires--I am human too. I LIKE the humanness of Jesus--I think God knew just what He was doing when He decided to go another way with us and actually give us an attainable idea of how we should behave. I can't believe He would require celibacy as well, considering the whole end to the human race thing. And quite obviously there were some flaws to the whole Old Testament wars and more wars tactics. In my opinion.

Now this whole finding the body thing.... this is interesting because the argument is that if there was a body, there was no resurrection and therefore no "miracle" to prove that He was the Messiah. Well, other than the 500 miracles He performed in front of thousands of people before His death. "Whaaa, those don't count? Oy gevelt!"
Is it sacriligious of me to find the whole idea of God removing Jesus from the tomb and fixing his poor broken body up for Him to return to His true love, Mary Mag and let them live happy ever after with their son? Sort of a biblical Elvis isn't really dead fairy tale..... How delicious! I mean, think of all the Mary sightings since then. Why not Jesus? And why is this so hard to believe? Does it not say "with God ALL things are possible"? Why not this? Who would be more deserving of a "happy ever after" than the poor MAN we refused to believe in and then crucified and have been fighting in the name of for two thousand years?
I love it. It may be based on nothing and frankly it's just my own little fantasy but how wonderful it would be if it were true.

Get over the 'losing your faith' people!!! "if you have faith as small as a mustard seed" you cannot lose it over crazy media hyperness--
LOOK INSIDE

Worship

We had such a beautiful worship service last night. There were just a few of us and we shared our spirits in such a powerful, quiet way that I am still feeling filled with grace and love. We sat in a circle and prepared our minds by listening to the sounds in the sanctuary. We sang a simple Taize' style song and then shared what part of the gospels really "spoke" to each of us personally.

We shared communion. I don't know if you've ever done communion in a small group but it is an amazing experience. Our Pastor was particularly insightful last night, he talked about how the disciples must have really felt when Jesus shared communion with them the first time. All the anxiety and fear, all the not knowing what was to come, all the love they all shared together and how it was true communion--they were all in it together. We all looked at one another, we all made that connection, we all felt great love for one another. I am blessed to have this memory.

We then anointed each other, lit candles and walked to light a cross made out of votives. While each of us took turns lighting the candles, we began singing "Holy One, O Holy One, dwelling within me" I put my arm around my good friend and soon we all became a huddled group singing and rocking together.

It doesn't get any more spiritual than that.

After we blew out our candles, some of us went to put together a puzzle of the nativity that I had brought to keep in the Sanctuary throughout Lent. We were giddy and joyful.

I love these people. They are my family.

I feel more like I do now than I did when I first got here.

Attraction Part Two

At least 10 people have come up to me in the last week and asked me if I ever heard of "The Secret". Man, Oprah has some clout--they all seem really surprised when I tell them it's been out for at least a year. Imagine the people who did that film. They were all just people like you and me and they learned this "secret" and now they are all rich, famous and sought after. Makes you think huh?

I always wonder if there's a stopping point to things like that. Like, how many millionaires can there be really? And if everyone's a millionaire, will that be the new poverty level? And then I think that I must be crazy to believe that there are limits to the Universe's abundance.

Last nights couples yoga was sooo fun. I will tell you a "secret". I was pretty worried and nervous about it. I hadn't taught a class like that before and I was worried that if it wasn't all couples that the singles would feel weird. It was almost like teaching 2 classes at the same time. B kept reminding me that I had publicized the heck out of it so they knew coming in what the main focus would be but I can't bear the thought of anyone being unhappy in yoga so I was a bit stressed about it. Turned out I did have 4 who were not coupled--2 decided to pair up and 2 decided to just do it by themselves. It worked out okay. I think the next time I will have it be just a special couples only--just because there was quite a bit I had to leave out but all in all it went quite well. Everyone seemed to have a great time--it was great seeing so many people sharing such love and laughter. Quite inspiring...and uplifting too!

I highly recommend it! Oh, and by the way....another "secret".....the last picture is the only pose they really did. Do you really think I would make them do the first 2? Pishawh!!!! We'll work up to it LOL!

Ahhh Yoga.....Good

My class this morning was heavenly. While my students were in relaxation and I was sending them positive energy, I had a thought. It was that I am just never, ever more happy and fulfilled than when I am teaching. Do you ever just have those moments where you are just completely 'in the moment' and then you realize how great that moment really is? I have them all the time. It's a wonderful feeling--I call it joy.

Found a fun site this morning--was up late last night with my solar area hurting (no doubt all that nasty food I had been eating during the power outage) Sent some Reiki to it and fell asleep. Got up this morning and it was gone but I just had this nagging feeling it was trying to tell me something. When I did my morning meditation, I lit the solar chakra candle and concentrated energy there. Got curious about chakra sayings and went and googled it and found this site that gives you a test to see which chakra needs refining.

Go here http://www.cobolt.com.au/index.asp?pg=findchakra&sStatus=reset for the link to take it yourself.

Oh....and the one that I needed to refine?

Surely you don't need to ask. LOL! My results:

Well Done! The Chakra that you most need to refine is your Solar Plexus Chakra!...


Yellow: Self Esteem, Confidence, Power.The solar plexus is your inner sun (light), and it is about your relationship to yourself - how you feel about yourself - so from here comes self esteem, self confidence, self worth, or self doubt. This is also the seat of your power. The more genuine self worth you feel the more empowered you are, the more self doubt you have the less empowered you feel.

Big surprise right?

Gone with the wind part two

Jeez, lost a whole week.

The good: got to spend a lot of time at home with family

The bad: it was 39 degrees in my home

The ugly: Me with 3 hats, 6 shirts, 2 coats, 2 pants and 3 pairs of socks.

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Fun: curling up in the sun with Rhia watching the tree cutters cut the branch off my wires and knowing electricity would be restore eventually..

Not Fun: missing all my yoga classes for 3 days

Sucked: Bathroom. 39 degrees. Middle of night. Ugh.

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Heartwarming: Adjibade calling and offering us Hudson House.

Heartfilling: Seeing the older couple across the street get to stay there instead.

Heartburning: Egg McMuffins and 7/11 coffee.

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How did you weather the storm????

Interesting

I learned a big lesson today. I was feeling a whole lot of pressure to beat a time line. I was up half the night trying to figure out how I could break it to everyone I believed I would let down if I couldn't meet this percieved time line that there was no way I could meet this time line.

This morning I picked a Reiki card and it was the throat chakra card. All about communicating. Hmmm, I said to myself, that's odd. I feel as if I have been communicating quite well recently....the card said I needed to state my truth and listen for the answer. Aha! The thought occured to me that I wasn't really stating my truth about this issue because I really didn't see how I was going to meet the percieved deadline but I was going ahead with the project anyway.

So I sent an email to all asking for help and giving options.

The main person I felt was giving me a deadline wrote an email saying there was no way I could meet his deadline!!!

So strange. So after much conversation (and much appreciated feedback from all) we had a wonderful conclusion to the day. I'm getting to do what I feel is right, WHEN I feel it is right....

Do you think the cards know more than me?

Shudder the thought.

ahhhh, the universe provides again....if you only listen....and speak your truth!

Sorry to be so cryptic here but stay tuned. Big News coming!!!! Just waiting for one more response....

The Secret

So, the people who brought you "The Secret" were on Oprah yesterday. Usually Oprah kinda gets on my nerves but she had put down her scepter for the day and the show was really good. I even took some notes which is amazing cause I've never done that before....Course I'm usually crying my eyes out over the poor children in Africa. Kinda hard to write when you can't see. But I digress....

The Secret is all about the Law of Attraction. We attract to ourselves whatever we put the most energy towards. So if we keep thinking that we just won't have something, the Universe will provide and make sure we don't have it. So if we say, "I will just never get over my childhood" the Universe reads it as "never get over your childhood" and will provide. Or if you think "I want a million dollars" the Universe will continue to provide you with the thrill of wanting that million dollars.....As my family used to say, "how's it feel to want?"

The theory is, if you see yourself with what you desire, you will attract it to you. So, simplistically, if you see yourself happy, you will be happy. If you see yourself as a victim, the Universe will keep giving you opportunities to be victimized. It only wants to give us what we really want. So the solution is to make sure you are asking for what you really want. Sounds easy, huh?

Now take a minute and listen to what you really want.....and then listen to what the inner voice says....no, really listen! Takes real time to do it.....

Some notes I made yesterday: (sorry, this is sort of for me to look at everyday but maybe it will touch a chord in you too)

Attracting: Never making any real money
Change to: Gratitude for what I am receiving

Attracting: Needing a space of my own for yoga
Change to: Creating space for spirit

Attracting: "I've done everything I can"
Change to: What other great ideas do I have?

ERGH!!! Everyday Remember Gratitude & Heart!!©

True Forgiveness: Thank you for giving me that experience.
Crisis: What are you here to teach me?

I AM THE FIRST EXAMPLE OF HOW THE WORLD IS SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME!!!

Treating myself like I'm nonexistent and a victim creates same. Lesson *I am creating experiences of being let down by not holding others accountable. Quietly *what are you able to do? Here's what I can do.*

Question: What am I grateful for in this person? Focus on what is there instead of what isn't.

If your hands are filled with the past--how can you put the present in them?

ASK--BELIEVE--PERCIEVE

Did you get all that?
Love to all.

Church

So, church today was interesting. Well, let me clarify that, I didn't actually go to church services. I did go to the congregational meeting after church (does that count?) A good friend of mine said he put some pictures of some of the plays and spiritual things I've done over there and I really wanted to see them "on the big screen". They were cool.

So anyways, the meeting is just a real interesting case study in personalities. The energy is one of unfulfilled agendas and unasked questions. Subtle inuendos and silly shrug it offs and a lot of eyebrow raising.... Usually, it's pretty boring and this one was no exception but towards the end it got kind of exciting...in a I don't know what the hell is going on kinda way.

The projections were good.

I got to sit with my buddies and hear about a really cool thing that my friend is gonna send me. And I think I've made a new friend.

I did Reiki on myself this morning in lieu of church. I missed communion. But I felt Jesus's arms around me comforting me as I never have before.

I really needed that. Funny how I rarely feel that at church....except during yoga, or before or after church when my good friends hug me and smile.

So i guess I did go to church today. It was nice....and it does count.

Dr. Seuss Comes to Visit

I have had so many students and friends tell me they are just completely out of sorts lately. You ever notice trends? Sort of like a virus that everyone gets around the same time and finds comfort in identifying it as the same virus that so and so had. And they say things like, "did you have a headache?" so they can tell you about the headache they had and nod knowingly when you tell them about yours....It's cold bonding, like male bonding only not. Of course, with the way men are about colds..... sorry, man bashing not allowed here.

Of course this is not really the same thing but it does seem to go in waves. I've always been convinced that it's got a lot to do with the moon and the whole yin yang pull but when I say that people start to give me that blank woo woo stare. I do think that it really is not as much about woo woo as it is about patterns and cycles that no one really has the time to figure out since we are always in the midst of the pattern. And by the time we figure out it's a pattern, we're on to the next cycle.

Maybe I'll start an informal study. I could have a form that you check off which pattern you're in:

sad
glad
mad
bad

Ha ha, all of a sudden my entry became very Dr. Seuss. "Why are you sad or mad or bad? I do not know, go ask your Dad." And I'm off on the next tangent.

Seriously, the big trend/pattern I'm hearing right now is people are sick of their jobs/mates/houses/lives and want some excitement. If this is you, send me a comment and I'll post the results. If it is NOT you, send me a comment saying "Linda, You're Whack! I don't feel like that at all--I feel like __________" and I'll tally the results and let you know.

Now just who's looking for excitement? Hmmmm. Full Moon Saturday....

Could you, would you, on a boat? Would you, could you, with a goat? LOL!