Oh dear.
The bats are back in the belfry.
When it was there regularly, I overcame my terror and just ignored it. With one eye staying on it of course. But it was only an "it" then. Now it's a "them". After my class last night when we were gathering and basking in the ambiance, it started. A HUMONGOUS black thing flying over our heads. And then another. I ducked for cover. I put a bolster over my head for protection. Waiting for the men folk to DO SOMETHING!!! And they were just admiring it/them. Wandering around, wondering where they came in and where they roost and what the air velocity was and whether the nor'easter had brung them and all that usual men stuff.
Finally, being the sane person in the room, I crawled on my hands & knees to the light switch and quickly turned them on! Helllloooo!!!! No more bats!!! Now why didn't they think of that? Silly men folk.
Man. I hate it when the bats start flying around and I have to try and keep my voice from squealing and try to overcome the impulse to run screaming out of the room while my poor students are perpetually in relaxation pose....Course if I'm screaming, they ain't gonna be relaxing. You see why there's a problem. Why do the bats circle so low? I KNOW they are after my hair....my brothers and cousins convinced me that I have just the perfect hair for bats nests....the right color and consistency....shudder....
I guess I'll be back to teaching from under the communion table. Maybe I should wear a scarf....
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Friday, November 02, 2007
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Back yard church
For years I have been threatening to hold church in my back yard. I've always felt that our backyard was a sanctuary--sometimes for the birds but also for us and our friends. So yesterday we finally did it.
Rhia has been writing colleges and researching seminaries in hopes of maybe becoming a reverend someday. We decided she should get a little taste of what that would be like. So we put up the screen tent on the top of the hill, built a very simple altar putting elements of earth, wind, water & fire and the 3 of us (guess who sat it out?) each took parts of the service to head up. Rhia was in charge of sermon, I was in charge of readings and Barry was in charge of music. Cory was in charge of cynicism....LOL
It was so fun. We sang our fool head's off--in fact, our neighbor came outside looking to see what the caterwauling was about. We lit candles, we took communion, we made an offering and wrote it down and put it on the altar to remind ourselves what we promised and then we burned what we needed to let go. Rhia's sermon was great--the readings were wonderful. She picked the topic of Faith so of course we had to sing Sting. It felt like what the early church must have been like when the disciples were thinking it up. Wherever 2 or 3 are gathered--He is there. We closed with one of my favorite poems--just in case you missed church yourself, I have copied it for you:
Do you need Me?
Rhia has been writing colleges and researching seminaries in hopes of maybe becoming a reverend someday. We decided she should get a little taste of what that would be like. So we put up the screen tent on the top of the hill, built a very simple altar putting elements of earth, wind, water & fire and the 3 of us (guess who sat it out?) each took parts of the service to head up. Rhia was in charge of sermon, I was in charge of readings and Barry was in charge of music. Cory was in charge of cynicism....LOL
It was so fun. We sang our fool head's off--in fact, our neighbor came outside looking to see what the caterwauling was about. We lit candles, we took communion, we made an offering and wrote it down and put it on the altar to remind ourselves what we promised and then we burned what we needed to let go. Rhia's sermon was great--the readings were wonderful. She picked the topic of Faith so of course we had to sing Sting. It felt like what the early church must have been like when the disciples were thinking it up. Wherever 2 or 3 are gathered--He is there. We closed with one of my favorite poems--just in case you missed church yourself, I have copied it for you:
Do you need Me?
I am there.
You cannot see Me,
yet I am the light you see by.
You cannot hear Me,
yet I speak through your voice.
You cannot feel Me,
yet I am the power at work in your hands.
I am at work,
though you do not understand My ways.
I am at work,
though you do not understand My works.
I am not strange visions.
I am not mysteries.
Only in absolute stillness,
beyond self,
can you know Me as I am,
and then but as a feeling and a faith.
Yet I am there.
Yet I hear.
Yet I answer.
When you need Me,
I am there.
Even if you deny Me,
I am there.
Even when you feel most alone,
I am there.
Even in your fears,
I am there.
Even in your pain,
I am there.
I am there when you pray and when you do not pray.
I am in you, and you are in Me.
Only in your mind can you feel separate from Me,
for only in your mind are the mists of "yours" and "mine."
Yet only with your mind can you know Me and experience Me.
Empty your heart of empty fears.
When you get yourself out of the way,
I am there.
You can of yourself do nothing,
but I can do all.
And I am in all.
Though you may not see the good, good is there, forI am there.
I am there because I have to be, because I am.
Only in Me does the world have meaning;
only out of Me does the world take form;
only because of Me does the world go forward.
I am the law on which the movement of the stars
and the growth of living cells are founded.
I am the love that is the law's fulfilling.
I am assurance.
I am peace.
I am oneness.
I am the law that you can live by.
I am the love that you can cling to.
I am your assurance.
I am your peace.
I am ONE with you.
I am.
Though you fail to find Me, I do not fail you.
Though your faith in Me is unsure,
My faith in you never wavers,because I know you,
because I love you.
Beloved,
I AM there.
i am there - james dillet freeman - 1947
Friday, August 17, 2007
Associations
I am a pleaser. And a peacemaker. Sometimes I tell people what they want to hear so they don't get upset. Even though I never lie, there are times that I don't tell all the truth or I tell it with a slant so they feel better. I want everyone to like me. Even if I don't like them. Even if they have been outright hostile. I get very nervous around illogical, jump to conclusions people. And feel as if I need to pacify them to protect others. I tend to attract those people that have no problem telling people what they think even if they haven't really thought at all.
I am floored when people lie. I am astounded when people fly off the handle over minor things. I am passionate about doing what I say I will do and am flabbergasted when others do not. I have to admit to being envious when people are not afraid that others will think less of them if they are who they are. Having to be perfect all the time is exhausting.
My horoscope today said:
Sometime in the last few years many relationships that were inappropriate for your life were weeded out. That process may have been quite painful, but it was necessary at the time. Now, however, the only relationships left are those that have real value in your life. You should be working on them to improve your understanding of yourself and how you relate to others.
Also this influence favors most business and professional relationships, because you now are able to negotiate on the basis of your real needs and self-understanding while appreciating the other person's real needs. And since you understand the need for realism in relationships, whatever you decide on at this time will be mutually profitable.
So true. It has been a really hard couple of years. People who I thought were my best friends turned out to not share my definition of friendship. Not that they were wrong, just not wanting the same thing. I had to really learn to stand my ground and honor myself even when all I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and never see anyone again. I had to learn to value myself even if I didn't feel valued. Even if I was attacked and blamed, I had to carry on with what I thought was right, even if it turned out to be wrong.
I do feel like that's over for now. Sort of like a phoenix rising from the ashes, all the explosions are put out, I am looking around at what remains and deciding what to keep and what to let lie. I have one final association that has been a large drain of energy and a large source of pain and growth. It has been a huge part of discovering who I really am but it has also been one of the most frustrating, confusing aspects of my life. And I feel like it may be time to let it go. It's very scary, sort of like leaping into the unknown but it feels like the break may be necessary for future growth. I keep trying to figure out a way to maintain my truth and maintain this association but it feels like one or the other has to go. Hence, my confusion. And major attempts at peacemaking. On some level. Without compromising who I really am. Tough stuff.
.......this influence favors most business and professional relationships, ....... Your individual personal needs will not conflict with the demands of the relationship, and you can base them on a realistic understanding of who you are and what others need from you. Your vision is clear, and you are not likely to enter a relationship under the spell of romantic illusions.
Ahhh, there's the answer. I get it. Thank you Lord.
I am floored when people lie. I am astounded when people fly off the handle over minor things. I am passionate about doing what I say I will do and am flabbergasted when others do not. I have to admit to being envious when people are not afraid that others will think less of them if they are who they are. Having to be perfect all the time is exhausting.
My horoscope today said:
Sometime in the last few years many relationships that were inappropriate for your life were weeded out. That process may have been quite painful, but it was necessary at the time. Now, however, the only relationships left are those that have real value in your life. You should be working on them to improve your understanding of yourself and how you relate to others.
Also this influence favors most business and professional relationships, because you now are able to negotiate on the basis of your real needs and self-understanding while appreciating the other person's real needs. And since you understand the need for realism in relationships, whatever you decide on at this time will be mutually profitable.
So true. It has been a really hard couple of years. People who I thought were my best friends turned out to not share my definition of friendship. Not that they were wrong, just not wanting the same thing. I had to really learn to stand my ground and honor myself even when all I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and never see anyone again. I had to learn to value myself even if I didn't feel valued. Even if I was attacked and blamed, I had to carry on with what I thought was right, even if it turned out to be wrong.
I do feel like that's over for now. Sort of like a phoenix rising from the ashes, all the explosions are put out, I am looking around at what remains and deciding what to keep and what to let lie. I have one final association that has been a large drain of energy and a large source of pain and growth. It has been a huge part of discovering who I really am but it has also been one of the most frustrating, confusing aspects of my life. And I feel like it may be time to let it go. It's very scary, sort of like leaping into the unknown but it feels like the break may be necessary for future growth. I keep trying to figure out a way to maintain my truth and maintain this association but it feels like one or the other has to go. Hence, my confusion. And major attempts at peacemaking. On some level. Without compromising who I really am. Tough stuff.
.......this influence favors most business and professional relationships, ....... Your individual personal needs will not conflict with the demands of the relationship, and you can base them on a realistic understanding of who you are and what others need from you. Your vision is clear, and you are not likely to enter a relationship under the spell of romantic illusions.
Ahhh, there's the answer. I get it. Thank you Lord.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Head Hammering
You ever feel like you are being hammered over the head with insights and the reason you have to be hammered is because you don't really want to see the truth? Nah, me neither....
In an attempt to get myself into some semblance of organization with regards to my world and my new self image I post the following:
I don't wanna do that. I really like that. That works but that doesn't. I never want to go there again. That is where you are being hammered, get it through your head. You don't have to do that if you don't want. Stop worrying about where you will do it, trust. That is who you are and what you are meant to do, the rest is distractions from aforementioned hammering. Jeesh.
I'm glad we got that settled.
Did I tell you about my interesting experience in a store in Oregon? It was a metaphysical store (my favorite) and I walked right in and went directly to a counter that was filled with large crystals and stopped dead in my tracks. The energy washed over me and almost made me dizzy it was so strong. I turned around slowly just kind of taking it all in and suddenly the owner was by my side. She smiles, puts her hand on my shoulder and says, "yeah, I know. The energy here is overwhelming, isn't it. So positive!"
There was another store above hers that I kept being drawn to a corner of. Lori kept calling me to see this and see that! (she was cute as a button in Oregon--you should see her in her element) and I just kept wanting to go a different way. I get there and my Reiki turns on immediately. I look down and there is a Karuna section. Karuna is a type of Reiki. As I stand there smiling, the owner comes up, puts her hand on my shoulder and hands me a card to open.
"You never grow old until you've lost all your marvels."
Merry Browne
True dat, huh? There was a poster there in that corner that brought me to tears and I'm really kinda mad at myself for not buying it. I just wasted about 15 minutes trying to recall and find it to no avail....
See that hammering thing? What is my deal? Listen to the small, still voice. You know. You absolutely know. Why you act like you don't?
Did I mention that lavender grows like weeds there? In front of Lori's sister Sheri's house was a big ole clump that she let me cut a bit from. It is sitting on my desk right in front of me. Mmmmm, Oregon smells really good! Lavender and pine and fir and roses, yummm.
________________________________this is me restraining myself from comparing the smells outside my door........
Yoga. Good. Reiki. Good. Me. Blessed. And don't me forget it!
In an attempt to get myself into some semblance of organization with regards to my world and my new self image I post the following:
I don't wanna do that. I really like that. That works but that doesn't. I never want to go there again. That is where you are being hammered, get it through your head. You don't have to do that if you don't want. Stop worrying about where you will do it, trust. That is who you are and what you are meant to do, the rest is distractions from aforementioned hammering. Jeesh.
I'm glad we got that settled.
Did I tell you about my interesting experience in a store in Oregon? It was a metaphysical store (my favorite) and I walked right in and went directly to a counter that was filled with large crystals and stopped dead in my tracks. The energy washed over me and almost made me dizzy it was so strong. I turned around slowly just kind of taking it all in and suddenly the owner was by my side. She smiles, puts her hand on my shoulder and says, "yeah, I know. The energy here is overwhelming, isn't it. So positive!"
There was another store above hers that I kept being drawn to a corner of. Lori kept calling me to see this and see that! (she was cute as a button in Oregon--you should see her in her element) and I just kept wanting to go a different way. I get there and my Reiki turns on immediately. I look down and there is a Karuna section. Karuna is a type of Reiki. As I stand there smiling, the owner comes up, puts her hand on my shoulder and hands me a card to open.
"You never grow old until you've lost all your marvels."
Merry Browne
True dat, huh? There was a poster there in that corner that brought me to tears and I'm really kinda mad at myself for not buying it. I just wasted about 15 minutes trying to recall and find it to no avail....
See that hammering thing? What is my deal? Listen to the small, still voice. You know. You absolutely know. Why you act like you don't?
Did I mention that lavender grows like weeds there? In front of Lori's sister Sheri's house was a big ole clump that she let me cut a bit from. It is sitting on my desk right in front of me. Mmmmm, Oregon smells really good! Lavender and pine and fir and roses, yummm.
________________________________this is me restraining myself from comparing the smells outside my door........
Yoga. Good. Reiki. Good. Me. Blessed. And don't me forget it!
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Church Today
I went to church today. Twice.
I was a bit worried since that silly article came out that people would be thinking ill of me.
I was wrong.
Some of the people that I respect most, that I look up to, that I aspire to be like, made a point of showing me that they supported me. Even from very unexpected sources. It was amazing. I came home between services and just lost it in my back yard, I just felt completely overwhelmed with the depth of feeling I received from people.
The really neat thing was that the feeling really wasn't for ME, it was for what I am bringing. It's for this amazing story. It's for the seeds. And people really let me know that they are excited. And that they care. Our church is so filled with truly spiritual souls, people who feel the love of God, not just "talk the talk".
My cup runneth over. And over.
Thank you Kevin. And Gary. And Sue. And Carrie. And Doris. And Jan. And Lara. And Judy. And Allison. And Debbie. And Lori. And Martha Sue. And Amanda, Alaina, Grace, Lauren, Sara, Katie, Katie, Nolan, Karen, Kurtis, Sean, Sydney, Kyra, Becca, & Emily, thanks for sharing your talents! And Sheree, mmm, Reiki, what a glorious gift we share. Thank you.
What a beautiful body of Christ you all are! I really understand the meaning of "blessed" after today.
I was a bit worried since that silly article came out that people would be thinking ill of me.
I was wrong.
Some of the people that I respect most, that I look up to, that I aspire to be like, made a point of showing me that they supported me. Even from very unexpected sources. It was amazing. I came home between services and just lost it in my back yard, I just felt completely overwhelmed with the depth of feeling I received from people.
The really neat thing was that the feeling really wasn't for ME, it was for what I am bringing. It's for this amazing story. It's for the seeds. And people really let me know that they are excited. And that they care. Our church is so filled with truly spiritual souls, people who feel the love of God, not just "talk the talk".
My cup runneth over. And over.
Thank you Kevin. And Gary. And Sue. And Carrie. And Doris. And Jan. And Lara. And Judy. And Allison. And Debbie. And Lori. And Martha Sue. And Amanda, Alaina, Grace, Lauren, Sara, Katie, Katie, Nolan, Karen, Kurtis, Sean, Sydney, Kyra, Becca, & Emily, thanks for sharing your talents! And Sheree, mmm, Reiki, what a glorious gift we share. Thank you.
What a beautiful body of Christ you all are! I really understand the meaning of "blessed" after today.
Monday, April 09, 2007
Church part 2
Yesterday I really debated with myself. I wanted to go to church. I just didn't know if I wanted to go to my church. But I love the people in my church and my husband and my best friends were singing 3 times starting at 6:30AM. (crazy) The music director is a really good friend of mine--She's the Martha Sue to my Marthinda. Don't ask.
I had been invited to attend the local Catholic church services. Have you ever been to a Catholic Church High Mass? Quite a sight. It's so meditative--chanting, back and forth praying, every move loaded with ritual, some responses are sung, it is beautiful. Especially communion. The priest smudges the area with incense and they believe the wine and bread are actually transformed, it is a very hushed, respectful ceremony.
Yesterday I watched the Catholic mass on tv. Chanted the responses back. Then I watched a Baptist Born Again service. Arms in the air, AMEN!!! Hallelujah! He is Risen!. The preacher spoke of letting go of our mistakes and being the best we could be, knowing that we are children of God and it is never over until God says it is. Very inspiring.
Our church is much more sedate. They pride themselves on their control. Outward displays of emotion are frowned upon. Even clapping after the choir sings (or God forbid, during their singing) is met with raised eyebrows and glances to see if it's okay with the Elders of the church. Every now and then, new people come to our church and actually RAISE THEIR HANDS when they are moved by the spirit.....shudder the thought.
We are the educated Christians. We don't believe in public displays--we do our Ash Wednesday services at night (or not at all) so we aren't walking around all day advertising our faith. We believe in the bible passage:
Matthew 6: 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
So us "frozen Chosen" got that going for us.....
Course the danger is feeling superior to those other religions. Or the people who actually feel the spirit and allow themselves to be moved. Or worse yet, explore other religions and watch tv shows on other people's theories and then actually discuss them. Oh dear. We are above all that, aren't we?
Easter.....I just think one day a year it should be okay to let all that superiority go and really celebrate what we are all about. But that's me. I'm not as educated as most. I tend to be a bit simple. And free. And I get really moved and have a hard time pretending I'm not--I like to smile.
Especially on such a monumentous occasion.
The music was really good. The bell choir was a delight. I felt comforted and cared for by all the wonderful people over there--they are just beautiful, caring souls. So intensely nurturing. And the children were the cutest things I've ever seen! They got to sing a real song and they were fabulous. I'm glad I went. I even got a chance to meditate.....
I had been invited to attend the local Catholic church services. Have you ever been to a Catholic Church High Mass? Quite a sight. It's so meditative--chanting, back and forth praying, every move loaded with ritual, some responses are sung, it is beautiful. Especially communion. The priest smudges the area with incense and they believe the wine and bread are actually transformed, it is a very hushed, respectful ceremony.
Yesterday I watched the Catholic mass on tv. Chanted the responses back. Then I watched a Baptist Born Again service. Arms in the air, AMEN!!! Hallelujah! He is Risen!. The preacher spoke of letting go of our mistakes and being the best we could be, knowing that we are children of God and it is never over until God says it is. Very inspiring.
Our church is much more sedate. They pride themselves on their control. Outward displays of emotion are frowned upon. Even clapping after the choir sings (or God forbid, during their singing) is met with raised eyebrows and glances to see if it's okay with the Elders of the church. Every now and then, new people come to our church and actually RAISE THEIR HANDS when they are moved by the spirit.....shudder the thought.
We are the educated Christians. We don't believe in public displays--we do our Ash Wednesday services at night (or not at all) so we aren't walking around all day advertising our faith. We believe in the bible passage:
Matthew 6: 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
So us "frozen Chosen" got that going for us.....
Course the danger is feeling superior to those other religions. Or the people who actually feel the spirit and allow themselves to be moved. Or worse yet, explore other religions and watch tv shows on other people's theories and then actually discuss them. Oh dear. We are above all that, aren't we?
Easter.....I just think one day a year it should be okay to let all that superiority go and really celebrate what we are all about. But that's me. I'm not as educated as most. I tend to be a bit simple. And free. And I get really moved and have a hard time pretending I'm not--I like to smile.
Especially on such a monumentous occasion.
The music was really good. The bell choir was a delight. I felt comforted and cared for by all the wonderful people over there--they are just beautiful, caring souls. So intensely nurturing. And the children were the cutest things I've ever seen! They got to sing a real song and they were fabulous. I'm glad I went. I even got a chance to meditate.....
Easter Finery
My family's family is from the South. Edenton, North Carolina is where the majority of my father's side of the family is. I was raised Southern Baptist. Can I get an "Amen"?
Every Easter my mother would dress me in 400 crinolines and mary jane patent leather shoes and my easter bonnet and white gloves. My brothers had little suits and shiny dress shoes that would make their feet hurt. Have you seen Steel Magnolias? Yep. That's Easter from my childhood.
All the grown ups had fancy dresses and suits and the women wore elaborate hats with flowers all over them. And gloves and white shoes.....
I miss that. Not the other crazy stuff but that.
Seems like in the last few years, people don't dress up so much. Even the older ladies. It's a shame. I miss the pastels and flowers. And the decorating/blossoming of the cross.
Sigh. Cynicism should have nothing to do with Easter.
Easter is HUGE! As Heather would say, Christmas has got nothing on Easter....
Can I get an "Amen"? Just one?
The music was really good though! Hallelujah! He is Risen!
Every Easter my mother would dress me in 400 crinolines and mary jane patent leather shoes and my easter bonnet and white gloves. My brothers had little suits and shiny dress shoes that would make their feet hurt. Have you seen Steel Magnolias? Yep. That's Easter from my childhood.
All the grown ups had fancy dresses and suits and the women wore elaborate hats with flowers all over them. And gloves and white shoes.....
I miss that. Not the other crazy stuff but that.
Seems like in the last few years, people don't dress up so much. Even the older ladies. It's a shame. I miss the pastels and flowers. And the decorating/blossoming of the cross.
Sigh. Cynicism should have nothing to do with Easter.
Easter is HUGE! As Heather would say, Christmas has got nothing on Easter....
Can I get an "Amen"? Just one?
The music was really good though! Hallelujah! He is Risen!
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Maundy Thursday
When I first started going to church regularly, I felt very clueless and out of place. When they said the kids were going to Montreat (a youth conference in North Carolina) I thought they mis-spelled it and were actually going to Montreal. Lots of things like that. And this Maundy Thursday thing just stymied me.
Maundy? What is Maundy? Did they mis-spell Monday? I'm really sorry to say I still don't have a firm grasp on what it is. I know what they do at the church though. A wonderful woman and her team of volunteers set up stations representing all the different stages of Jesus' life.
The first time I went to Maundy Thursday services was when the church had an interim pastor named Heather. Heather is a remarkable woman with a flair for the dramatic. I loved and still love her. (regardless of what anyone says) She created a hushed, introspective enviroment where you could really soak in what was going on, what had happened and what was going to happen. Very little noise, quiet monk chanting, every now and then she would come up to the mic and read scripture in a soft gentle voice. It was and is the most powerful service I have ever been to. My whole family came and we stayed and we prayed and we felt. There was just a handful of us there most of the time. Since then, we have gone to every one and still, most times there's only a few of us there for any length of time. Same for her Taize' services. I appreciate her efforts, she dealt with strong opposition and still kept trying....
It isn't really a quiet introspective time any more except for after the service. Our church seems very uncomfortable with silence. The regular worship services are very busy with activity and tradition, they run like a well oiled train, same thing each week in the same order with the same people mostly. Our spirit group has sponsored many an event, put in many hours planning and executing but other than a few smattering of people here and there we are not very popular. Our Lenten contemplative activities only had a few people every week even though there were many already in the church for dinners, they were not interested in exploring any other spiritual activities. My spiritual sisters and I just continue to provide the opportunities, gently reminding each other that we are just casting our seeds to the wind, we needn't worry about where they land.
The current pastor says that only 7% of the church population in a Protestant church are interested in "spiritual" activities.
It is very hard to keep perspective at a church where you feel so weird and out of place. There is nothing wrong with the church, 93% of the people there find real meaning in the services, I think they are wonderful. The problem is being part of that 7%. I have a really hard time sitting through worship. One of the wives of one of the long standing elders of the church said to me once that she couldn't come to church cause the energy was just too frenetic to her. She hit the nail on the head.
I really like the current pastor, I really love the people in the church. They are my family. They gently tease me about not attending worship regularly. Even though I am a member and I put in countless hours volunteering, I understand that the hour on Sunday is very important. I know I need to bite the bullet and go, just look at the flowers like my buddies tell me they do but it just feels like it brings out the worst in me.
I know I just don't get it. I need to try harder.
Maundy Thursday was the day of the Last Supper।
The word "Maundy" comes from the Latin for 'command' (mandatum). It refers to the command given by Jesus at the Last Supper, that his disciples should love one another.
Maundy? What is Maundy? Did they mis-spell Monday? I'm really sorry to say I still don't have a firm grasp on what it is. I know what they do at the church though. A wonderful woman and her team of volunteers set up stations representing all the different stages of Jesus' life.
The first time I went to Maundy Thursday services was when the church had an interim pastor named Heather. Heather is a remarkable woman with a flair for the dramatic. I loved and still love her. (regardless of what anyone says) She created a hushed, introspective enviroment where you could really soak in what was going on, what had happened and what was going to happen. Very little noise, quiet monk chanting, every now and then she would come up to the mic and read scripture in a soft gentle voice. It was and is the most powerful service I have ever been to. My whole family came and we stayed and we prayed and we felt. There was just a handful of us there most of the time. Since then, we have gone to every one and still, most times there's only a few of us there for any length of time. Same for her Taize' services. I appreciate her efforts, she dealt with strong opposition and still kept trying....
It isn't really a quiet introspective time any more except for after the service. Our church seems very uncomfortable with silence. The regular worship services are very busy with activity and tradition, they run like a well oiled train, same thing each week in the same order with the same people mostly. Our spirit group has sponsored many an event, put in many hours planning and executing but other than a few smattering of people here and there we are not very popular. Our Lenten contemplative activities only had a few people every week even though there were many already in the church for dinners, they were not interested in exploring any other spiritual activities. My spiritual sisters and I just continue to provide the opportunities, gently reminding each other that we are just casting our seeds to the wind, we needn't worry about where they land.
The current pastor says that only 7% of the church population in a Protestant church are interested in "spiritual" activities.
It is very hard to keep perspective at a church where you feel so weird and out of place. There is nothing wrong with the church, 93% of the people there find real meaning in the services, I think they are wonderful. The problem is being part of that 7%. I have a really hard time sitting through worship. One of the wives of one of the long standing elders of the church said to me once that she couldn't come to church cause the energy was just too frenetic to her. She hit the nail on the head.
I really like the current pastor, I really love the people in the church. They are my family. They gently tease me about not attending worship regularly. Even though I am a member and I put in countless hours volunteering, I understand that the hour on Sunday is very important. I know I need to bite the bullet and go, just look at the flowers like my buddies tell me they do but it just feels like it brings out the worst in me.
I know I just don't get it. I need to try harder.
Maundy Thursday was the day of the Last Supper।
The word "Maundy" comes from the Latin for 'command' (mandatum). It refers to the command given by Jesus at the Last Supper, that his disciples should love one another.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Worship
We had such a beautiful worship service last night. There were just a few of us and we shared our spirits in such a powerful, quiet way that I am still feeling filled with grace and love. We sat in a circle and prepared our minds by listening to the sounds in the sanctuary. We sang a simple Taize' style song and then shared what part of the gospels really "spoke" to each of us personally.
We shared communion. I don't know if you've ever done communion in a small group but it is an amazing experience. Our Pastor was particularly insightful last night, he talked about how the disciples must have really felt when Jesus shared communion with them the first time. All the anxiety and fear, all the not knowing what was to come, all the love they all shared together and how it was true communion--they were all in it together. We all looked at one another, we all made that connection, we all felt great love for one another. I am blessed to have this memory.
We then anointed each other, lit candles and walked to light a cross made out of votives. While each of us took turns lighting the candles, we began singing "Holy One, O Holy One, dwelling within me" I put my arm around my good friend and soon we all became a huddled group singing and rocking together.
It doesn't get any more spiritual than that.
After we blew out our candles, some of us went to put together a puzzle of the nativity that I had brought to keep in the Sanctuary throughout Lent. We were giddy and joyful.
I love these people. They are my family.
I feel more like I do now than I did when I first got here.
We shared communion. I don't know if you've ever done communion in a small group but it is an amazing experience. Our Pastor was particularly insightful last night, he talked about how the disciples must have really felt when Jesus shared communion with them the first time. All the anxiety and fear, all the not knowing what was to come, all the love they all shared together and how it was true communion--they were all in it together. We all looked at one another, we all made that connection, we all felt great love for one another. I am blessed to have this memory.
We then anointed each other, lit candles and walked to light a cross made out of votives. While each of us took turns lighting the candles, we began singing "Holy One, O Holy One, dwelling within me" I put my arm around my good friend and soon we all became a huddled group singing and rocking together.
It doesn't get any more spiritual than that.
After we blew out our candles, some of us went to put together a puzzle of the nativity that I had brought to keep in the Sanctuary throughout Lent. We were giddy and joyful.
I love these people. They are my family.
I feel more like I do now than I did when I first got here.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Church
So, church today was interesting. Well, let me clarify that, I didn't actually go to church services. I did go to the congregational meeting after church (does that count?) A good friend of mine said he put some pictures of some of the plays and spiritual things I've done over there and I really wanted to see them "on the big screen". They were cool.
So anyways, the meeting is just a real interesting case study in personalities. The energy is one of unfulfilled agendas and unasked questions. Subtle inuendos and silly shrug it offs and a lot of eyebrow raising.... Usually, it's pretty boring and this one was no exception but towards the end it got kind of exciting...in a I don't know what the hell is going on kinda way.
The projections were good.
I got to sit with my buddies and hear about a really cool thing that my friend is gonna send me. And I think I've made a new friend.
I did Reiki on myself this morning in lieu of church. I missed communion. But I felt Jesus's arms around me comforting me as I never have before.
I really needed that. Funny how I rarely feel that at church....except during yoga, or before or after church when my good friends hug me and smile.
So i guess I did go to church today. It was nice....and it does count.
So anyways, the meeting is just a real interesting case study in personalities. The energy is one of unfulfilled agendas and unasked questions. Subtle inuendos and silly shrug it offs and a lot of eyebrow raising.... Usually, it's pretty boring and this one was no exception but towards the end it got kind of exciting...in a I don't know what the hell is going on kinda way.
The projections were good.
I got to sit with my buddies and hear about a really cool thing that my friend is gonna send me. And I think I've made a new friend.
I did Reiki on myself this morning in lieu of church. I missed communion. But I felt Jesus's arms around me comforting me as I never have before.
I really needed that. Funny how I rarely feel that at church....except during yoga, or before or after church when my good friends hug me and smile.
So i guess I did go to church today. It was nice....and it does count.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)