Lots of thoughts swirling in my head, random snippets of next year I will's. As in, next year I will stop and smell the roses. Next year I will not be so ridiculous in my scheduling. Next year I will get my house organized. Next year I will earn enough money to let someone else clean it. Next year I will get rid of anything that I am holding onto because of fear. Or obligation. Next year I will only give cheerfully. Next year I will share my abundance. Good or bad.
Next year I will learn to nap. Or meditate regularly. Or both. Next year I will spend more alone time with God. And with my family. And with my friends. Next year I will accept what I cannot change. Next year I will accept no less than respect for myself. From myself.
Next year I will talk softer. And less. Next year I will be less suspicious. Next year if someone wants my coat, I will offer my shirt as well. Next year I will not worry, or anger needlessly over fear of not being able to do my job diligently. Next year I will practice what I preach. Even if it reduces my practice time.
Next year will be one of great joy. Next year will be bittersweet. Next year I will learn about the pinnacle of happiness being twinged with the breath of letting go. Next year I reflect on one chapter of my life closing... and another opening without holding onto the other, letting her fly. Next year I rest safe in the knowledge of a job well done and trust that I will always be welcomed in the heart of my workplace.
Next year holds the anticipation of my highest hopes and biggest dreams. Next year holds the mystery of the next mountain. Next year we will plant the seeds from this year and let them bloom.
And so it is.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
Dream? or Omen?
Last night I had another crazy dream. I was directing a play with 4000 kids-- It wasn't really 4000 but it really felt like it. (maybe it was a memory?) We were doing Seussical, one of my favorite plays. I didn't really know any of the kids, they weren't "my" kids but they were enthusiastic. Melodie was with me-- my usual partner in theater crime-- and we were quite overwhelmed with it all. The dream went very fast, casting, rehearsing and opening night were in a blink of an eye. (ha ha, insert pun here)
I walk in Dodd's Hall and the audience is already there, I realize that we have no ushers, no one to stop them. Kids are running around everywhere, eating (a cardinal NO in their costumes), they are running on the stage and through the crowd (another NO, you can't let the audience see you before the performance), I realize we have no backstage moms to corral them. What a mess. Mel and I decide to just go with it. Let the silly play go on, we'll figure it out later.
So we are sitting together opening night, I remember some of our old theater buddies coming in and being sort of embarrassed for them to see this play because we had slapped it together and didn't have the talent we were used to. We kept looking at each other with our Mel/Linda look, nervous but smiling and nodding. Gratefully, the lights went down and the show started. We realize immediately that we had forgotten a very important part of the show: SOUND. No microphones, no body mikes, no overhead, no speakers, nothing. We panic. "oh my gosh, how could we forget such a major part of theater? it's been too long, we are out of practice, we shouldn't have done this..." But we decide we'll just call it a dress rehearsal and none will be the wiser.
Suddenly, we hear this odd voice coming from stage right. "Who is that?"
Melodie says, "oh yeah, remember it's that weird kid with the red hair, I can't remember his name" (again, a cardinal NO, we always know our kids really well by performance time)
I'm squinting trying to get a look at him... and I exclaim, "wait a minute, why is it so dark on stage?!!!!!
Yep, we forgot the other REALLY important part of theater: LIGHT. I freak out, run out of the auditorium, run to the overhead light switches and flip them all on. Only 3 work and they are over the audience and worse; I only catch the tale end of the last song of the first act! How could we go through the whole first act without realizing there's no LIGHT?
I'm running around in a total panic, "get me up on the bridge, I'll do the spotlights!!"
"you can't get up on the bridge, I sealed the hole to make an air vent"
"WHAT???"
"well grab a ladder and we'll put new overhead stage lights in"
"you can't, we lent the ladder to ____ and they won't come back for at least a month and besides, the congregation decided they were too bright, we like a dim light..."
"WHAT???"
Holy moly, I woke up in a sweat. What a nightmare! I came downstairs to make coffee and it dawned on me that maybe it was a sign. I've been really crazy busy this month and part of it has been because I've been trying to plan next year. Trying to leave space in the calendar to do a play. I REALLY miss doing plays. Everyone tells me I'm crazy to try and fit it in. I brush it off.
But SOUND? and LIGHTS? Kinda important.
Better make sure to get that covered first--(she says with a giggle)
I walk in Dodd's Hall and the audience is already there, I realize that we have no ushers, no one to stop them. Kids are running around everywhere, eating (a cardinal NO in their costumes), they are running on the stage and through the crowd (another NO, you can't let the audience see you before the performance), I realize we have no backstage moms to corral them. What a mess. Mel and I decide to just go with it. Let the silly play go on, we'll figure it out later.
So we are sitting together opening night, I remember some of our old theater buddies coming in and being sort of embarrassed for them to see this play because we had slapped it together and didn't have the talent we were used to. We kept looking at each other with our Mel/Linda look, nervous but smiling and nodding. Gratefully, the lights went down and the show started. We realize immediately that we had forgotten a very important part of the show: SOUND. No microphones, no body mikes, no overhead, no speakers, nothing. We panic. "oh my gosh, how could we forget such a major part of theater? it's been too long, we are out of practice, we shouldn't have done this..." But we decide we'll just call it a dress rehearsal and none will be the wiser.
Suddenly, we hear this odd voice coming from stage right. "Who is that?"
Melodie says, "oh yeah, remember it's that weird kid with the red hair, I can't remember his name" (again, a cardinal NO, we always know our kids really well by performance time)
I'm squinting trying to get a look at him... and I exclaim, "wait a minute, why is it so dark on stage?!!!!!
Yep, we forgot the other REALLY important part of theater: LIGHT. I freak out, run out of the auditorium, run to the overhead light switches and flip them all on. Only 3 work and they are over the audience and worse; I only catch the tale end of the last song of the first act! How could we go through the whole first act without realizing there's no LIGHT?
I'm running around in a total panic, "get me up on the bridge, I'll do the spotlights!!"
"you can't get up on the bridge, I sealed the hole to make an air vent"
"WHAT???"
"well grab a ladder and we'll put new overhead stage lights in"
"you can't, we lent the ladder to ____ and they won't come back for at least a month and besides, the congregation decided they were too bright, we like a dim light..."
"WHAT???"
Holy moly, I woke up in a sweat. What a nightmare! I came downstairs to make coffee and it dawned on me that maybe it was a sign. I've been really crazy busy this month and part of it has been because I've been trying to plan next year. Trying to leave space in the calendar to do a play. I REALLY miss doing plays. Everyone tells me I'm crazy to try and fit it in. I brush it off.
But SOUND? and LIGHTS? Kinda important.
Better make sure to get that covered first
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
dreams and dogs and insights, oh my
Last night I dreamt that my dog, Max the German Shepherd, drowned in my hot tub. I felt horrible because in my dream I forgot I decided to give Max a treat since he had always wanted to get in the hot tub but I wouldn't let him cause I didn't want to soak in fur and dog saliva. So I let him in and went about my day, something to do with people knocking at the door and taking care of business... and then Barry came home wondering where Max was and I remembered. But it was too late. Poor Barry had to really struggle to lift this huge, wet, soggy Shepherd out of the tub and carry it up the hill. As he was struggling, I was watching, saying a prayer for Max and Max opened his eyes. And then they closed. I kept praying and they opened.. and closed... and opened. This went on for what seemed like eternity until finally he started wagging his tail. "Barry, he's alive!! he's alive!" Barry argued that it was just wishful thinking on my part but then finally had to admit it was true.
And then I woke up.
This dream is ridiculous for a multitude of reasons, not the least of is: I don't have a German Shepherd named Max. I never had. In fact, in the dream Barry remarks that although it was sad, at least it wasn't Bubba... a German Shepherd we had when we first moved into our home 28 years ago (28? Holy Moses) Secondly, I would never let a dog in my hot tub no matter how much it wanted to get in... ewww. Although, Suki, my eskimo spitz did jump in the hot tub once. Poor little thing almost drowned cause the jets were running to clean and we didn't know she jumped in and she couldn't get back out; she's a mini-dog. She never did it again. I would assume a Shepherd could just climb out.
I guess probably the important part of the dream was the thinking the dog was dead, actually seeing it lying there under the water, motionless, and then it coming back to life.
Been seeing a lot of hawks lately. Hawks are messengers. I feel like I am getting a multitude of messages lately but I have no freaking clue what they mean. Yesterday was the first day I had my house to myself in months. When that happens, I tend to be a bit all over the place til I can simmer back down again.
Do you think simmering had something to do with it? I kinda wanted to get in my hot tub... but now I'm afraid to open it... I should have never read Pet Cemetery when I was young.
And then I woke up.
This dream is ridiculous for a multitude of reasons, not the least of is: I don't have a German Shepherd named Max. I never had. In fact, in the dream Barry remarks that although it was sad, at least it wasn't Bubba... a German Shepherd we had when we first moved into our home 28 years ago (28? Holy Moses) Secondly, I would never let a dog in my hot tub no matter how much it wanted to get in... ewww. Although, Suki, my eskimo spitz did jump in the hot tub once. Poor little thing almost drowned cause the jets were running to clean and we didn't know she jumped in and she couldn't get back out; she's a mini-dog. She never did it again. I would assume a Shepherd could just climb out.
I guess probably the important part of the dream was the thinking the dog was dead, actually seeing it lying there under the water, motionless, and then it coming back to life.Been seeing a lot of hawks lately. Hawks are messengers. I feel like I am getting a multitude of messages lately but I have no freaking clue what they mean. Yesterday was the first day I had my house to myself in months. When that happens, I tend to be a bit all over the place til I can simmer back down again.
Do you think simmering had something to do with it? I kinda wanted to get in my hot tub... but now I'm afraid to open it... I should have never read Pet Cemetery when I was young.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Rules for Gruntlement
1. Don't drink and blog. Ever.
2. Especially on a Sunday after a tough week.
3. Don't beat yourself up either if you break rule 1 & 2. You are human and real. Give others the permission to be the same. Who wants to read sunshine and light all the time?
4. People are allowed to bitch and moan.
5. People that never bitch and moan, even to themselves, become serial killers.
6. Just kidding.
7. Maybe.
8. Mercury Retrograde ends in 2 days!
9. It's hard to be gruntled when you are trying to be a really nice person. and you understand everyone else is too.
10. Gruntled does not sound like a happier state then disgruntled.
Here we come a wassailing... among the leaves so green....
2. Especially on a Sunday after a tough week.
3. Don't beat yourself up either if you break rule 1 & 2. You are human and real. Give others the permission to be the same. Who wants to read sunshine and light all the time?
4. People are allowed to bitch and moan.
5. People that never bitch and moan, even to themselves, become serial killers.
6. Just kidding.
7. Maybe.
8. Mercury Retrograde ends in 2 days!
9. It's hard to be gruntled when you are trying to be a really nice person. and you understand everyone else is too.
10. Gruntled does not sound like a happier state then disgruntled.
Here we come a wassailing... among the leaves so green....
Sunday, December 11, 2011
A funny thing happened on the way to the ....
You ever get really, really busy and just go into hyper mode and then it ceases and you look around and wonder what the heck hit you? Not that it ever ceases for long. Which is a good thing considering the alternative. But yeah... that's where I'm at.
We had a great time at the Happy Hour Tarot Circle, it seems like it's going to be a really unique, fun time. The Open House was lovely, I was a bit sad because I'm used to it being at my house but I am grateful that I didn't have to try to make all that stuff AND clean my house. Ann pitched in, helping with the jewelry and what not... but I miss creating.. something to keep in mind as I plan my New Year. I had a delightful time putting together my 'potions', but there was too much work and not enough delight. I was also sad to see the amount of dust on my jewelry supplies and ribbons and essential oils. I cannot believe that I hadn't made any jewelry or 'potions' for a solid year, which is what made it so hard. No wonder I'm feeling such a lack of creativity.
Creating is vital. If we are not creating, we are not living. This year was very busy working... but sort of low on creating. I mean, we created a yoga studio, but that was not really new, except the whole space issue... which was heavy on the issue... I guess I'm just feeling a lack of ... newness? brilliance? joy?
Silly I guess. It's Sunday night after an extremely labor intensive week, I suppose brilliance would be a bit lacking. Just happy that my feet are starting to stop aching... oh my, nothing but complaints here, huh?
How bout this:
A horse walks into a bar... bartender says, "why the long face?"
One last question:
If I keep working my ass off, why doesn't it get smaller? Just wondering...
We had a great time at the Happy Hour Tarot Circle, it seems like it's going to be a really unique, fun time. The Open House was lovely, I was a bit sad because I'm used to it being at my house but I am grateful that I didn't have to try to make all that stuff AND clean my house. Ann pitched in, helping with the jewelry and what not... but I miss creating.. something to keep in mind as I plan my New Year. I had a delightful time putting together my 'potions', but there was too much work and not enough delight. I was also sad to see the amount of dust on my jewelry supplies and ribbons and essential oils. I cannot believe that I hadn't made any jewelry or 'potions' for a solid year, which is what made it so hard. No wonder I'm feeling such a lack of creativity.
Creating is vital. If we are not creating, we are not living. This year was very busy working... but sort of low on creating. I mean, we created a yoga studio, but that was not really new, except the whole space issue... which was heavy on the issue... I guess I'm just feeling a lack of ... newness? brilliance? joy?
Silly I guess. It's Sunday night after an extremely labor intensive week, I suppose brilliance would be a bit lacking. Just happy that my feet are starting to stop aching... oh my, nothing but complaints here, huh?
How bout this:
A horse walks into a bar... bartender says, "why the long face?"
One last question:
If I keep working my ass off, why doesn't it get smaller? Just wondering...
Monday, December 05, 2011
What is Karuna Reiki?
I received my final Karuna Master attunement on Saturday. Words cannot contain the bigness of that statement. I started on this Reiki journey many moons ago-- if I get ambitious (and have time) I will put the links to my other posts about the steps on the way here. It's been an amazing journey, so many twists and turns, so many completely unexpected experiences and the destination is a complete surprise. I feel like I'm on the top of a mountain, looking back at my trail and realizing I could have never predicted this path in a million years. Of course, I can't see the beginning because it was a leap off a different mountain... the beginning of a fool's journey... a leap of faith, so to speak.
I am intrigued by the image of a circle of mountains, and me with my little knapsack, steadily climbing each one and then throwing myself joyfully off the peak, only to trudge on up the next one. Wish I was a painter... I'd call it Linda's Magnificent Journey. In my knapsack I carry a piece of each mountain, which gives me the courage to climb the next and the wisdom to find the trail. The sky is a beautiful purple and red, and the next couple of mountains are shrouded in long strips of white clouds, hiding the tops, that occasionally peak through with a glimpse of crystalline diamonds, the sun reflecting off the snow. Higher and higher they go...
But I digress.
Karuna Reiki® has 4 levels, 2 practitioner, 1 master, 1 teacher. Usui Reiki has 4 levels, 2 practitioner, 1 master, 1 teacher. The Usui and Karuna teacher levels include 2 Tibetan attunement symbols. So for those of you interested in titles, I am now a Usui/Tibetan/Karuna® Reiki Master-Teacher, which means nothing to anyone but Reiki practitioners on the same journey, but is sure hard to fit on a business card. But the knowledge contained in each of those words is transformational and transcending. If I opened my soul and let you see a glimpse of what I've seen and done on this journey, it would take your breath away... as it has mine.. and that's no small statement for a yoga teacher.
Usui Reiki has been passed from master to student since Dr. Usui discovered it in his search for the healing energy that Jesus gave the disciples. Karuna Reiki® has been developed from ancient healing traditions from many different cultures, channeled and tested by a group of Usui Masters, guided by William Rand, the Western world's leading researcher and authority on Reiki. If you want further info on Karuna and Rand, visit his website at www.reiki.org. My training lineage travels back to Dr. Usui through William Rand, as does many of the worlds Reiki Masters. The differences between Karuna and Usui Reiki are immense.. but it's comparing apples to oranges... one is not more powerful than another, just different.
In my mind, I sort of see it as the difference between Christianity and Hinduism. Both believe in one God, but in different forms. Christians follow the Father, Son, Holy Spirit; Hindis have many more. Usui Reiki has 3 symbols plus a Master symbol. Karuna has 8 symbols plus a Master symbol. Each symbol invokes a different intention-- sort of like when you see a heart, you think of love, or a peace sign, or a cross or an Om... each symbol helps you zone into your blessing for your client. Karuna has been called the Reiki of compassionate action, Usui the system of natural healing... you see how it is difficult to pigeon-hole? And there is no need. I use both interchangeably in my healings, they work quite well together. With each level I've completed, the energy just gets stronger and stronger, and I just become more and more blessed.
Today I feel on top of the world! My face feels bright, my heart is light, I am rejoicing in the season of Light and love and about to go on a mushy rampage! Seriously, I have never felt this good in my life. I see the abundant banquet and am stepping into my council of elder's shoes, smiling at the wise ones around me.
And so it is.
I am intrigued by the image of a circle of mountains, and me with my little knapsack, steadily climbing each one and then throwing myself joyfully off the peak, only to trudge on up the next one. Wish I was a painter... I'd call it Linda's Magnificent Journey. In my knapsack I carry a piece of each mountain, which gives me the courage to climb the next and the wisdom to find the trail. The sky is a beautiful purple and red, and the next couple of mountains are shrouded in long strips of white clouds, hiding the tops, that occasionally peak through with a glimpse of crystalline diamonds, the sun reflecting off the snow. Higher and higher they go...
But I digress.
Karuna Reiki® has 4 levels, 2 practitioner, 1 master, 1 teacher. Usui Reiki has 4 levels, 2 practitioner, 1 master, 1 teacher. The Usui and Karuna teacher levels include 2 Tibetan attunement symbols. So for those of you interested in titles, I am now a Usui/Tibetan/Karuna® Reiki Master-Teacher, which means nothing to anyone but Reiki practitioners on the same journey, but is sure hard to fit on a business card. But the knowledge contained in each of those words is transformational and transcending. If I opened my soul and let you see a glimpse of what I've seen and done on this journey, it would take your breath away... as it has mine.. and that's no small statement for a yoga teacher.
Usui Reiki has been passed from master to student since Dr. Usui discovered it in his search for the healing energy that Jesus gave the disciples. Karuna Reiki® has been developed from ancient healing traditions from many different cultures, channeled and tested by a group of Usui Masters, guided by William Rand, the Western world's leading researcher and authority on Reiki. If you want further info on Karuna and Rand, visit his website at www.reiki.org. My training lineage travels back to Dr. Usui through William Rand, as does many of the worlds Reiki Masters. The differences between Karuna and Usui Reiki are immense.. but it's comparing apples to oranges... one is not more powerful than another, just different.
In my mind, I sort of see it as the difference between Christianity and Hinduism. Both believe in one God, but in different forms. Christians follow the Father, Son, Holy Spirit; Hindis have many more. Usui Reiki has 3 symbols plus a Master symbol. Karuna has 8 symbols plus a Master symbol. Each symbol invokes a different intention-- sort of like when you see a heart, you think of love, or a peace sign, or a cross or an Om... each symbol helps you zone into your blessing for your client. Karuna has been called the Reiki of compassionate action, Usui the system of natural healing... you see how it is difficult to pigeon-hole? And there is no need. I use both interchangeably in my healings, they work quite well together. With each level I've completed, the energy just gets stronger and stronger, and I just become more and more blessed.
Today I feel on top of the world! My face feels bright, my heart is light, I am rejoicing in the season of Light and love and about to go on a mushy rampage! Seriously, I have never felt this good in my life. I see the abundant banquet and am stepping into my council of elder's shoes, smiling at the wise ones around me.
And so it is.
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