Ahhh, Halloween...
Used to be really fun when the kids were little and I worked in a nursery school and would see all the little vampires, black cats and Britney Spears in the parade...
Me and my friend Christine would fly through the halls, grabbing snacks for the kiddies and singing that crazy fly, fly, witchie, witchie, fly song, seeing who could get it stuck in the other's head first.
My hands would be permanently black for the whole month from all the paint washing.
Yeah, Halloween now....
Maybe I'll dress as a yoga teacher.
Or better yet, a witch!!!! Hahahahahaha! Won't be a stretch, right?
Have a great day and a ghoulish new year!!!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Swirling Circles of Thought
Monday night I went to a Women's Circle from my church.
I know, right?
I was asking myself the same question. All day I kept thinking, "why? why are you opening this can of worms? I thought you were done." Truth is, I really miss hanging with a bunch of women and not being in charge. Now, don't get me wrong, I looooove what I do. But every now and then it's really nice to enter into a circle of people praying for each other and holding each other up.
Then why not go to church?
ooooohhhhh, there's the can of worms.....
I just can't want it. There is something blocking my path. I feel heaviness and sadness. I feel like I would have to check my brain and my emotions at the door. And what's the point? Why be somewhere that you have to just settle? swirling, swirling, like a leaf....
It's so confusing. "It's not so bad" is not the way I want to live my life. "It's not so bad" is usually followed with a litany of negativity.... that the speaker has decided to embrace. Because it's easier than not.
The Woman's circle was very nice. Ever since my bestie and I broke up, I have missed feeling really close to women. I have great women friends, in fact, quite a few new besties but most of my new besties are very busy so we don't get to spend a lot of time together. We're not "on the phone" everyday besties. And that's okay. I have learned that everyday besties tend to burnout and get angry at each other if they spend too much time together. Even though sometimes I really miss my bestie, I'm quite content with loving my friends and feeling loved in return. It's a marvelous thing in fact.
So why go to the women's circle? I don't know. I feel left out I suppose. Even though it's my choice, I really miss being part of the fun.... planning for Christmas families... the market.... the really good part of church... the helping of others and holding each other up. I really, really miss that. I just really don't miss the ugliness. That heaviness.... the sadness. I think I'm old enough now to pick and choose and stay sane.
We'll see.
I know, right?
I was asking myself the same question. All day I kept thinking, "why? why are you opening this can of worms? I thought you were done." Truth is, I really miss hanging with a bunch of women and not being in charge. Now, don't get me wrong, I looooove what I do. But every now and then it's really nice to enter into a circle of people praying for each other and holding each other up.
Then why not go to church?
ooooohhhhh, there's the can of worms.....
I just can't want it. There is something blocking my path. I feel heaviness and sadness. I feel like I would have to check my brain and my emotions at the door. And what's the point? Why be somewhere that you have to just settle? swirling, swirling, like a leaf....
It's so confusing. "It's not so bad" is not the way I want to live my life. "It's not so bad" is usually followed with a litany of negativity.... that the speaker has decided to embrace. Because it's easier than not.
The Woman's circle was very nice. Ever since my bestie and I broke up, I have missed feeling really close to women. I have great women friends, in fact, quite a few new besties but most of my new besties are very busy so we don't get to spend a lot of time together. We're not "on the phone" everyday besties. And that's okay. I have learned that everyday besties tend to burnout and get angry at each other if they spend too much time together. Even though sometimes I really miss my bestie, I'm quite content with loving my friends and feeling loved in return. It's a marvelous thing in fact.
So why go to the women's circle? I don't know. I feel left out I suppose. Even though it's my choice, I really miss being part of the fun.... planning for Christmas families... the market.... the really good part of church... the helping of others and holding each other up. I really, really miss that. I just really don't miss the ugliness. That heaviness.... the sadness. I think I'm old enough now to pick and choose and stay sane.
We'll see.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Ta ta ta tarot
Last night was so much fun. I was hired by our local Halloween demons to read tarot at their annual ghoul fest (at the church tee hee). I dressed in my usual clothes ha ha, yep-- witch-like is my Sunday best. Long skirt, took the curtains off my windows ala Scarlett O'Hara, wrapped them around my shoulders, put a ton of makeup on, beads and waaa la! I am Miss Cleo-- tarot reader extraordinaire!
I convinced Barry to go along and grabbed the curtains off the other window to put over his head "you don't have to do a thing.... just sit there and be scary!" He did a really good job. Sitting there and being scary is his forte'.
I had a long line of people waiting. One after another they trudged in, warily looking at the scary lump in the corner... and the scarier lump in front of them. "You scared little girl?" in my best creepy voice. "Nah, it's just you Miss Linda". Errgh. Too many plays, they know me too well. Plus, like I said, I was really just dressed in my usual clothes. Hair a muss. Just like everyday.
I've been reading tarot since my teens. I don't know where it comes from, just another coming through me thing. My employers wanted it to be a Halloween novelty and on some level it was, but the cards do not lie. It was interesting what came up-- and quite a shuffle to keep it on a fun, party level when fun, party cards didn't come up. For the kids, I was able to just kinda step out of reality and give them some messages wrapped in a sugar coated piece of candy. It was sad to see how many kids, esp. teenage girls, had "stress" or "comparison" come up... tough times, teenage girls. What was really hard was seeing "exhaustion" and "burden" come up for little boys... stressed out at 10, sheesh, imagine when they hit my age. One boy was on cloud 9 though, after I told him he would have tons of girlfriends before he found his wife... I think he's about 11. LOL
Now, the adults were a different matter. I was VERY limited on time, like I said, there was a constant line outside the door but man, oh man, some of the cards that came up! Alot of the adults were complete strangers to me but it was incredible how dead on their readings were. And what a fool I am-- I didn't even bring my business cards so we could follow up-- don't know what I was thinking. I had some wild readings happening, my good buddy Ann was having to do post reading counseling outside my door LOL. Seriously, it was amazing. Just the heat from the energy WOOOOO!
Had one experience that took MY breath away. A person kept circling outside the opening... I knew they wanted a reading but since they were a grown up, they weren't sure it was okay or not- this was towards the end, I was supposed to leave at 8:30 and it was already after 9. I beckoned to this person to come in. We hardly exchanged words. I gave the instructions "think of what's going on in your life, if you have any questions, shuffle the cards, don't tell me what you want to know and we'll just see what the cards have to say"
Of the hundreds and hundreds of readings I've done in my life, I would have to say this was one of the most powerful I've ever seen. Every card deep with meaning and based on the look on this persons face... dead on. I start interpreting, almost as if in a trance, everything around us ceased to exist, our eyes locked and it was as if I could read their soul... at first they were scared but then they realized it was safe... I would not hurt them and neither would the truth. Afterwards, we just sat... looking at each other. No words. Recognition of the power of what had just happened. Silently we shook hands. They stumbled out to the raucous party going on--dazed, and I sat quietly, exhilarated. Wishing I had more time.
All in all, one of the funnest nights I've had in a long time-- well, cept for the party I went to Friday night... oh and... oh never mind, LOL-- I have lots of fun :)
BIGGEST NEWS OF ALL: My products are on sale at Fabian House Now!!!! More on this soon.... I am just feeling so blessed. TTYS LY BB!
I convinced Barry to go along and grabbed the curtains off the other window to put over his head "you don't have to do a thing.... just sit there and be scary!" He did a really good job. Sitting there and being scary is his forte'.
I had a long line of people waiting. One after another they trudged in, warily looking at the scary lump in the corner... and the scarier lump in front of them. "You scared little girl?" in my best creepy voice. "Nah, it's just you Miss Linda". Errgh. Too many plays, they know me too well. Plus, like I said, I was really just dressed in my usual clothes. Hair a muss. Just like everyday.
I've been reading tarot since my teens. I don't know where it comes from, just another coming through me thing. My employers wanted it to be a Halloween novelty and on some level it was, but the cards do not lie. It was interesting what came up-- and quite a shuffle to keep it on a fun, party level when fun, party cards didn't come up. For the kids, I was able to just kinda step out of reality and give them some messages wrapped in a sugar coated piece of candy. It was sad to see how many kids, esp. teenage girls, had "stress" or "comparison" come up... tough times, teenage girls. What was really hard was seeing "exhaustion" and "burden" come up for little boys... stressed out at 10, sheesh, imagine when they hit my age. One boy was on cloud 9 though, after I told him he would have tons of girlfriends before he found his wife... I think he's about 11. LOL
Now, the adults were a different matter. I was VERY limited on time, like I said, there was a constant line outside the door but man, oh man, some of the cards that came up! Alot of the adults were complete strangers to me but it was incredible how dead on their readings were. And what a fool I am-- I didn't even bring my business cards so we could follow up-- don't know what I was thinking. I had some wild readings happening, my good buddy Ann was having to do post reading counseling outside my door LOL. Seriously, it was amazing. Just the heat from the energy WOOOOO!
Had one experience that took MY breath away. A person kept circling outside the opening... I knew they wanted a reading but since they were a grown up, they weren't sure it was okay or not- this was towards the end, I was supposed to leave at 8:30 and it was already after 9. I beckoned to this person to come in. We hardly exchanged words. I gave the instructions "think of what's going on in your life, if you have any questions, shuffle the cards, don't tell me what you want to know and we'll just see what the cards have to say"
Of the hundreds and hundreds of readings I've done in my life, I would have to say this was one of the most powerful I've ever seen. Every card deep with meaning and based on the look on this persons face... dead on. I start interpreting, almost as if in a trance, everything around us ceased to exist, our eyes locked and it was as if I could read their soul... at first they were scared but then they realized it was safe... I would not hurt them and neither would the truth. Afterwards, we just sat... looking at each other. No words. Recognition of the power of what had just happened. Silently we shook hands. They stumbled out to the raucous party going on--dazed, and I sat quietly, exhilarated. Wishing I had more time.
All in all, one of the funnest nights I've had in a long time-- well, cept for the party I went to Friday night... oh and... oh never mind, LOL-- I have lots of fun :)
BIGGEST NEWS OF ALL: My products are on sale at Fabian House Now!!!! More on this soon.... I am just feeling so blessed. TTYS LY BB!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Welcome to the Jungle
Yesterday was the annual bring the outdoors in game at my house. Because I am a total sap and cannot kill any living thing, I have ended up with a multitude of house plants. Seriously, I can't let things die, even if a stalk breaks off, I have to root it and make another plant. If you've been to my house you know this to be true. This creates tremendous upheaval in the Spring & Fall. Fall comes and we bring all these lush, humongous plants into the house. Winter becomes a game of survival of the fittest. Keeping the plants where they will get enough sun and remembering to water them is a chore. Which is fairly interesting, apparently I can't deliver a death blow but I don't mind slowly letting them suffer waiting to curl up and wilt...
By Spring it becomes a race to see if they will make it to the last frost or will I surreptitiously place them out with an admonition of "if you really want to live, the cold won't bother you!" Let the wind blow the dust off, water til you drown... ahhh, rejuvenation! Course, I think the other plants get jealous so the first warm day, everyone goes out... only to then be brought back in by my resentful husband who's glaring eyes are screaming I TOLD YOU SO because this is called the same thing happens every year. Every year I swear I will let them die, either they make it or they don't, it's God's will, not mine! And every Spring and Fall, just at the last minute, sometimes even at midnight, I relent and insist on going and bringing them in. Or at least covering them with blankets. Barry loves it.
In jeopardy right now is a huge Hibiscus. The Summer was not kind to my Hibiscus. It really needed transplanting but I couldn't find a pot big enough, I kept meaning to cut it back but it kept flowering and I can't possibly lose a flower so I never got around to it. Plants are smart. They know when they might be a goner so they go for broke. As a result, they get really leggy, they drop all their leaves and put all their energy into reproducing, hoping and praying that the seeds will live on, carry on the name so to speak, if only that evil gardener would stop deadheading and let the seed form... Life and death, right in my pruners. Ugh.
I am seriously considering cutting the hibiscus back and letting it live in my utility room. It's the only place that's left. When I think of February and my hunger for any color and warmth... and the vibrancy of that first brilliant red flower...
Barry's gonna be pissed.
PS. I'm having a half price sale on Good Luck Jade plants!!! Only 35 left!!!! Get yours now! Ai yi yi....
By Spring it becomes a race to see if they will make it to the last frost or will I surreptitiously place them out with an admonition of "if you really want to live, the cold won't bother you!" Let the wind blow the dust off, water til you drown... ahhh, rejuvenation! Course, I think the other plants get jealous so the first warm day, everyone goes out... only to then be brought back in by my resentful husband who's glaring eyes are screaming I TOLD YOU SO because this is called the same thing happens every year. Every year I swear I will let them die, either they make it or they don't, it's God's will, not mine! And every Spring and Fall, just at the last minute, sometimes even at midnight, I relent and insist on going and bringing them in. Or at least covering them with blankets. Barry loves it.
In jeopardy right now is a huge Hibiscus. The Summer was not kind to my Hibiscus. It really needed transplanting but I couldn't find a pot big enough, I kept meaning to cut it back but it kept flowering and I can't possibly lose a flower so I never got around to it. Plants are smart. They know when they might be a goner so they go for broke. As a result, they get really leggy, they drop all their leaves and put all their energy into reproducing, hoping and praying that the seeds will live on, carry on the name so to speak, if only that evil gardener would stop deadheading and let the seed form... Life and death, right in my pruners. Ugh.
I am seriously considering cutting the hibiscus back and letting it live in my utility room. It's the only place that's left. When I think of February and my hunger for any color and warmth... and the vibrancy of that first brilliant red flower...
Barry's gonna be pissed.
PS. I'm having a half price sale on Good Luck Jade plants!!! Only 35 left!!!! Get yours now! Ai yi yi....
Monday, October 13, 2008
Whirlwind
Whew, so Rhia blew into town and out in the blink of an eye. So wild. And she says, "So Surreal". (ha ha, such a college student-- just 2 months ago she would've said "so weird dawg....") Instant recap:
As mentioned, her plane was 5 hours late. Course, even though she didn't get in til after midnight, the first thing we had to do was play Wii Fit. She was delighted to do the body test and discover she now has a great BMI... we were delighted to see how great she looks, radiant is the term her father keeps using. Finally we go to bed but she promises to go with me in the morning to Fabian House.
Fabian House. In case you don't know, Fabian House is a great little antique store/vegetarian cafe in Old Bowie. I was there a couple weeks ago with a dear friend and we were chatting about our businesses and how best to network and advertise and on a whim I got my courage up and asked the owners how they sell local artists wares, how does it work? We had a great conversation and ended up exchanging business cards and lo and behold--they love my stuff and want to sell it. I am absolutely tickled...we had a great meeting, they are such nice people and I learned so much about how this whole process works. Rhia was so sweet-- a half hour meeting stretched into almost 2 hours but it was great having her there beside me, it really gave me courage and strength... plus, it was great to be able and make sure I wasn't dreaming! It is for real.. they like my stuff and as soon as I can get enough of everything, they are going to display and sell it! Yippee!!!!
The rest of the weekend is a blur of people coming over and playing games and hanging out and laughing and singing and before we knew it, it was Sunday. And we had to take her back to the airport. It seemed like it came too quick but I am sort of astonished at all we packed into 3 days. Plus, I was trying to get my stock ready at the same time. It's like we were stepping in and out of the new/old me's and I think that's what the surreal-ness was all about. I think Rhia came home thinking everything had changed when the reality was she has changed, she has grown and I think we thought everything was the same but the reality was we have been changed too... At one point, Saturday morning I think, we looked into the living room which was covered with all the usual sleepover, hanging out, game pieces, cards and various clutter that represents youngun's in the house and it was very jarring. Our living room hadn't looked like that for 8 weeks. The whole energy in the house changed-- not that it was good/bad-- just different. Sort of like the Reiki Advanced Training affected my Reiki... the energy was always like fire, burning bright and hot. Now the energy is even more powerful... like a mountain.. strong and solid. Both are equally welcome and wonderful, just different.
Perhaps that's the difference as we age... Burning bright turns to solid strength. Hmmm. The fire of youth gets replaced with the strength of the mountains....
Let's ponder. What do you think?
As mentioned, her plane was 5 hours late. Course, even though she didn't get in til after midnight, the first thing we had to do was play Wii Fit. She was delighted to do the body test and discover she now has a great BMI... we were delighted to see how great she looks, radiant is the term her father keeps using. Finally we go to bed but she promises to go with me in the morning to Fabian House.
Fabian House. In case you don't know, Fabian House is a great little antique store/vegetarian cafe in Old Bowie. I was there a couple weeks ago with a dear friend and we were chatting about our businesses and how best to network and advertise and on a whim I got my courage up and asked the owners how they sell local artists wares, how does it work? We had a great conversation and ended up exchanging business cards and lo and behold--they love my stuff and want to sell it. I am absolutely tickled...we had a great meeting, they are such nice people and I learned so much about how this whole process works. Rhia was so sweet-- a half hour meeting stretched into almost 2 hours but it was great having her there beside me, it really gave me courage and strength... plus, it was great to be able and make sure I wasn't dreaming! It is for real.. they like my stuff and as soon as I can get enough of everything, they are going to display and sell it! Yippee!!!!
The rest of the weekend is a blur of people coming over and playing games and hanging out and laughing and singing and before we knew it, it was Sunday. And we had to take her back to the airport. It seemed like it came too quick but I am sort of astonished at all we packed into 3 days. Plus, I was trying to get my stock ready at the same time. It's like we were stepping in and out of the new/old me's and I think that's what the surreal-ness was all about. I think Rhia came home thinking everything had changed when the reality was she has changed, she has grown and I think we thought everything was the same but the reality was we have been changed too... At one point, Saturday morning I think, we looked into the living room which was covered with all the usual sleepover, hanging out, game pieces, cards and various clutter that represents youngun's in the house and it was very jarring. Our living room hadn't looked like that for 8 weeks. The whole energy in the house changed-- not that it was good/bad-- just different. Sort of like the Reiki Advanced Training affected my Reiki... the energy was always like fire, burning bright and hot. Now the energy is even more powerful... like a mountain.. strong and solid. Both are equally welcome and wonderful, just different.
Perhaps that's the difference as we age... Burning bright turns to solid strength. Hmmm. The fire of youth gets replaced with the strength of the mountains....
Let's ponder. What do you think?
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
7:08! *edit 12:01 :(
My daughter is coming home today! We pick her up at 7:08/12:01. She's flying on a airplane alone for the first time. But she is now a grown up college student, smart and strong, flying should be a piece of cake. I don't mind telling you that I am excited beyond belief. I can't wait to see her! Will she look different? Will she act different? Will she talk with a Southern accent? Who will she be? Will she be my little girl still? Or has she grown miles beyond me? So many experiences in such a very short time. How has it changed her? I talk to her every day, see her face on the web cam, text and im on and off, sharing our lives but still don't really know who college student Rhia really is.
She has done something I have never done in my life. She has moved away from family, completely on her own, miles and miles away. She has had to learn to study, learn to negotiate with a roomie (well, I guess I've done that :) ) She's arranged meetings with professors and excelled at writing essays and completing all her assignments-- not just on time but early in a lot of cases. Her grades are exceptional. She did not know she had it in her. I did but wasn't sure she'd step aside and let it through. She did. She's amazing. I can't wait to see her and just sit with her and yes, play Mario Kart and hear her giggle again.
Who is this girl? This is so wild. So Weird. I have a grown up college student flying in to come home for a couple days. Having trouble sinking that in. My daughter. Flying. Grown Up. Wow.
This will be a looooong day.....until 7:08! *edit... Even longer til 12:01 LOL But she's home and safe!!! Yay!!!
She has done something I have never done in my life. She has moved away from family, completely on her own, miles and miles away. She has had to learn to study, learn to negotiate with a roomie (well, I guess I've done that :) ) She's arranged meetings with professors and excelled at writing essays and completing all her assignments-- not just on time but early in a lot of cases. Her grades are exceptional. She did not know she had it in her. I did but wasn't sure she'd step aside and let it through. She did. She's amazing. I can't wait to see her and just sit with her and yes, play Mario Kart and hear her giggle again.
Who is this girl? This is so wild. So Weird. I have a grown up college student flying in to come home for a couple days. Having trouble sinking that in. My daughter. Flying. Grown Up. Wow.
This will be a looooong day.....until 7:08! *edit... Even longer til 12:01 LOL But she's home and safe!!! Yay!!!
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Breathing
I can't imagine what the people who work on Wall Street are dealing with right now. Their whole day to day frenetic energy, thriving on fierceness has got to be thrown for a loop. I bet you could smell the fear when the Dow plummeted down, down, down.... There was probably initially some grand excitement, a great adrenaline rush and then a realization that this was going to be bad. Really bad. Really, really bad. I wonder if they even took a breath in the last hour or so. Wow. And now the banks, can you imagine? I worked for a mortgage company, was a manager in fact and my speciality was figuring out how to save loans for people who were rejected. And rightfully so. I used to joke about how we'd see those people in a few years in their foreclosures.... It was just business. Sort of like a chess game, can I move this piece here so I can convince them to move that piece there so I can sign on the biggest builder in the region and line my pockets with extra commission? Thank God I woke up. Quickly.
I wonder if the people on Wall Street and in the banks and mortgage companies are getting their wake up call now? It's interesting, the last 10ish Tarot readings I've done had the Tower in them. The Tower is a dreadful card, even in my Osho deck. It shows people falling from a burning building. The last time I had this card come up so much was right before 9/11. Every time it came up recently, I said a silent prayer... and felt a sense of dread. I am hoping this is it. I can feel the fear around me. I keep breathing. Sending out calmness. All Shall Be Well.
The great message of the Tower is that sometimes we build structures that have no choice but to crumble. We can chose to jump from them or be pushed but sooner or later we have to let go of what doesn't work, what doesn't serve the common good, what doesn't serve your highest intention for your highest power. We can crash and burn or we can stop and look. Our choice. We can sleepwalk through our days, justifying our actions, trying to remain numb to our conscience and our inner knowing but sooner or later we are going to get a wake up call. All of us.
"...you might be feeling pretty shaky right now, as if the earth is rocking beneath your feet. Your sense of security is being challenged, and the natural tendency is to try to hold on to whatever you can. But this inner earthquake is both necessary and tremendously important-- if you allow it, you will emerge from the wreckage stronger and more available for new experiences. After the fire, the earth is replenished; after the storm the air is clear. Try to watch the destruction with detachment, almost as if were happening to somebody else. Say yes to the process by meeting it halfway..." Osho
It's just money. It's just time for a change. America needs to stop, look and step back. We are not going in the right direction. Let's take the road less traveled. Examine your life. And if it seems like it's time....JUMP!!!
I wonder if the people on Wall Street and in the banks and mortgage companies are getting their wake up call now? It's interesting, the last 10ish Tarot readings I've done had the Tower in them. The Tower is a dreadful card, even in my Osho deck. It shows people falling from a burning building. The last time I had this card come up so much was right before 9/11. Every time it came up recently, I said a silent prayer... and felt a sense of dread. I am hoping this is it. I can feel the fear around me. I keep breathing. Sending out calmness. All Shall Be Well.
The great message of the Tower is that sometimes we build structures that have no choice but to crumble. We can chose to jump from them or be pushed but sooner or later we have to let go of what doesn't work, what doesn't serve the common good, what doesn't serve your highest intention for your highest power. We can crash and burn or we can stop and look. Our choice. We can sleepwalk through our days, justifying our actions, trying to remain numb to our conscience and our inner knowing but sooner or later we are going to get a wake up call. All of us.
"...you might be feeling pretty shaky right now, as if the earth is rocking beneath your feet. Your sense of security is being challenged, and the natural tendency is to try to hold on to whatever you can. But this inner earthquake is both necessary and tremendously important-- if you allow it, you will emerge from the wreckage stronger and more available for new experiences. After the fire, the earth is replenished; after the storm the air is clear. Try to watch the destruction with detachment, almost as if were happening to somebody else. Say yes to the process by meeting it halfway..." Osho
It's just money. It's just time for a change. America needs to stop, look and step back. We are not going in the right direction. Let's take the road less traveled. Examine your life. And if it seems like it's time....JUMP!!!
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
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