Metal

Just when you think it's safe to go outside... fall arrives. Ugh. That metal taste in your mouth. The dry, itchiness of your skin. Metal. That's Fall.
But other than that.
I love when the weather starts to turn crisp. I love snuggling under the covers.
I don't love when the grapevine and birdhouse gourds get brown and crunchy.
I love the anticipation of the holidays.
I don't actually love the holidays.
Mmmm, but I do love the water of winter.
But not when it turns to that black slushy stuff on the side of the road. Yuck.
I love the wind blowing and the leaves swirling and the joy of the children as they try and catch the leaves twisting and turning over the playground. In fact, it's about the only time I really miss being at the therapeutic nursery.
That and when I think of Jenny. And G.... I can't believe the name escapes me, I can see his face so clearly.... Dangit. Age.
I love the idea of the first fire after summer. I hope the wood dries out soon. I could sit all day watching, breathing, listening. Wanna join me?
What is that child's name? I have a picture of him on my refrigerator.
I love cutting all the beauty gone ugly down.
I love anticipating the new sprouts.
I hate the thought of not having dirt on my hands for months.
Oooo and the lovely smell of earth. I hate not breathing it in for months.
Rats. I'll let you know what the child's name is, I miss him so.

Balance

I always tell my yoga students to resist the impulse to judge themselves harshly in a pose because we all have different gifts. Some have great hips and find hip openers easy, to others (like myself) they are difficult and require true yoga focus and awareness to breathe into softening. Other's have great hamstrings and bend themselves in half at the drop of a dime. Still others have limber spines and have no trouble with backbends. Some of it is how you are built, some of it is from aware practicing but we all have things that come easier to us than others.

My gift is balance. Or should I say focus since they go hand in hand...I joke with my students sometimes when they are frustrated with balancing and glare at me just standing there on one leg, "I have the reverse of ADD, instead of my attention being distracted easily, I have a hard time dragging my focus away once it's there. I have OAD-- Overly Attentive Disorder" If you've ever been in one of my classes when someone has barged in disrupting the class, you will see how difficult it is for me to be bumped out of my zone and then have to get back in. Usually takes at least 2 breaths. Ha ha...it's just practice.

One of the things that balance has taught me, besides the fact that it requires focus first and foremost, it that you have to understand your center. It's a great metaphor for life. Once you "get" that you will be swayed in all directions but as long as you return to the center you will not be knocked off your roots. Going too far to the right or to the left will just topple you over. (Great lesson for politics, huh?)

Wind (thought) comes by, sway with it, return to center. Don't try and resist it... that will just break you in half. Watch a tree, the breeze comes, they sway, the breeze goes, they stand tall.

Think about the things in your life that you obsess about. Obsessing about anything is taking you too far from the center. Allow the thought, and allow it to keep going. Can't do it, you say? Then maybe you don't know where your center is.

Finding the center is central to balance.

What gives you roots?
What allows you to grow?
Where is your structure?
What feeds your soul?

There's your center. Also known as Source. It's the life force inside of you, it's what's really important, not just distraction. So many people fritter their lives away focusing on distractions without ever once feeling that magnificent Source of power that lives right inside of them. It makes me sad.

Every class I teach has balance as a large part of it. You can tell so much about people by how they approach balancing. Some give up immediately, just walk on over to let something else hold them up. Other's dig in, shoulder's up to their ears, holding on for dear life, trying to PROVE that they can balance, refusing to budge an inch. Still others start out fine but get blown away with their first thought which is usually "look at me! I'm balancing!" and off they go...

Long time yogis, ones who really "get" what yoga is all about, approach balancing the same way they approach all their poses.

Start with your foundation.
Root your feet.
Relax and find your breath.
Focus within
Accept what is, if it's there, it's there, if it's not, watch for what is.

In other words, Relax, Breathe, Feel, Watch, Allow....

Every time. Every pose. Or every day of your life. Or every moment. Just returning to center. Over and over. And settling in. Breathing. Yeah. Look there's another.

I could stand here all day. Just watching. Where are you centered?

And all is right with the world...

One of the biggest advantages of maturity is the realization that immediacy is not always permanent. When you are young it's hard to realize that the way you feel RIGHT NOW can change RIGHT THEN. When my kids were upset about something not so humongous, and feeling as if it was the end of the world, I used to ask them to wait a day. They would argue with me that a day wasn't going to make a difference, that I was crazy and I just didn't understand!!! And then the day would pass.

They never once admitted that there was some wisdom to my craziness. It was hard fought wisdom, I don't think I really figured it out til my 30s. And the funny thing is that it was my kids who taught it to me. I would drop them off for the first day of school, they would be miserable. Scared to death, in their younger years crying, being pried off of me, teachers glaring at me. Ugh. I would spend the entire day frantic, waiting for the phone call, expecting all kinds of horrible things and dreading picking them up and seeing the ruin on their faces that years & years of therapy would never erase. 6 hours of worrying, pacing, feeling like the worse mom on the planet. I'd get there a half hour early to pick them up, trying to talk with the other parents, trying to smile without my face cracking and then finally, out they would come...

Skipping cheerfully with new friends, "Mommy, Mommy! Meet so and so! Look at what I made!" From the deepest depths to the highest high... all in 6 hours.

Imagine what 24 hours can do.

Now, granted, this rule doesn't always work. Sometimes it may take 24 days. Or even 24 years. But as the Buddhists believe, "Everything and Everyone Changes". You can bet on it.

I think we may need to remember this right now...

No Followers?

You know, I think society is conspiring to make us feel bad about ourselves. Or maybe it's just me. Now Blogger has added the "Followers" gadget. Oh Lordy, another thing to obsess about! When MySpace first came out, the kids were competing to see how many "friends" they have. Rhia had something like 400 "friends". I was impressed. Until she told me she didn't know half of them. I refused to get a MySpace just cause I didn't want to have to worry about how many friends I had. Old people do not use MySpace... or they didn't.

I've had a Xanga for years. I had a fair amount of "subscribers", mostly kids. When I wanted to post stuff where the kids wouldn't see (I was doing a lot of theater at the time) I started up this Blogger. The intention was that no one would find me and I could write whatever I wanted. But human nature is such that I started finding other people cause I was curious who was here. I was cool with it being such a few folks but have to admit to occasionally being envious that other people had more "hits" on their site meter than me. Of course, this feeling was usually felt most when my yoga classes ebbed instead of flowed. It's funny, now I find I enjoy my xanga more cause I have made all kinds of really cool friends since it's so not cool anymore for the kids.

I got a Facebook because a marketing site said social marketing was the best marketing tool. (How many times can you fit marketing into a sentence?) I refused to befriend anyone--was strictly business-- but if they befriended me, I would add them. Lots of people befriended me.. trouble was I didn't know some of them. This makes me uneasy. Had a student come to yoga last night that I was very excited about when she befriended me cause I actually knew her and she was over 21!

So now Blogger wants me to put this follower thing up. What if no one follows me? I just can't take the pressure. I can't believe how courageous people are to install this. Or maybe it's just confidence.... or better yet, perspective. Most people that read my site are completely anonymous, I have no idea who you are. Who are you? Would you follow me? Ugh, just the question is pathetic....

This whole teenage "what if I threw a party and no one came?" thing has got to be awful for those teenagers who are constantly seeing other's partying or pretending to and they are sitting at home on Saturday nights. The whole thing is just disturbing. But in a strange way, very connecting. I have friends I keep up with now that I didn't before cause we were too busy... course now the busy-ness is all about trying to keep up other people's green patches and save the rain forest on Facebook LOL!

I don't know. I'm confused on this. And now I'm jealous that I don't have a family tree LOL! Ai yi yi-- what will they think of next?

BRRRR!

Last night, as usual, I went to sleep with a big old box fan in one window and a floor fan in the other. Can you say hot flashes? This morning there were icicles attached to my beard.

Yay! I love when the weather gets crisp. Cept all the plants are nasty so I'll have to start cutting them back. But the gourds are enormous and I am totally stoked about that. They will house a family of ten next year.

I am about as chipper as chipper can be. I am sold out of 4 of my bracelets already!! Course, if you make them one of a kind that makes it a little easier to sell out but woo hoo anyway! That's the thing I didn't think about. I'm all about newness. I don't know if I could mass produce the same kind of bracelet without my head rolling back and tongue lolling. Although, I sold my sacral one last night and went ahead and made another since I like it so much and it's on the front page of my website.... Oh and I sold some of my bath salts too! AND I signed up to get my Reiki Level 3 attunement in 2 weeks, I am thrilled about that. And if that's not all:

Yesterday I got the best gift! I am serious. A great yoga student friend of mine dropped these off on my porch in a beautiful bag covered with butterflies:

I LOVE THEM!!! They are my new favorite thing. I even brought the one doing bow pose to yoga last night for inspiration. I cannot look at them without smiling (and clapping my hands like a little child LOL) Aren't they great? She said I should put them in the garden but I don't think I can... Barry said we may have to build a special place just for them, like the naked lady glasses that circulate at Carl's Christmas party. (don't ask, I won't tell)

So there you have it. Life is good. Busy. But good. And cold. Cept I feel a hot flash coming on so: why is it so damn hot in here???? errrgh. JK. What's up in your neck of the woods?

Oh I almost forgot to tell you-- Rhia & I have been playing with iGoogle gadgets lately. If you want a quick what's happening with me go to: (link broken, email me for replacement) You have to have a iGoogle page to view it though. If you want to see Rhia's you'll have to ask her :) I'd love to add yours to my page if you have one-- send me a link.

Having fun yet?

I have been playing, puttering, doing what I love to do.... do the mess around....I feel compelled to play with chakras and surrounding myself with different ways to express them. I've always worked with crystals and when I'm doing Reiki, I often will get the message that a particular chakra needs some help and usually can tell when one of my own is out of whack. I always wear a chakra bracelet, but sometimes need a little extra in one area. And I've had a devil of a time finding them! You can get them all together but never individually... well, at least not that I've seen. So, the idea occurred to me that I should make them! So I've been putzing. I started with the bath salts cause I've been playing with the aromatherapy for years too. I have a recipe book for my "potions" and they had the great idea of coloring the salts so I took it one step further (of course) and have made them according to the chakras! You should smell the solar (yellow) one-- I infused it with Sunshine, my eye pillow blend.... mmmmm. Blue & Purple are Sweet Dreams, Green is Refresh and the lighter Green is a new blend that I developed for Anne based on the rosemary from her garden-- it is delightful. Haven't come up with a name for it yet...

Then it's been on to my next chakra endeavor, the bracelets. Let me tell you, making bracelets is not easy. I was thinking it would be a piece of cake cause Rhia and I used to make those bead buddy animals all the time and those big chunky beads slide right on. Ugh. The gemstones are dainty. They do not slide right on. In fact, I was about to just bag the whole idea until my buddy Ruth told me they have special needles for this. So, after spending a bazillion dollars on stones, needles, elastic, tranquilizers, I am starting to get the hang of it. In fact, I'm downright tickled about it. The one above is my sacral chakra one, it's real carnelian and copper-- I love it! Carnelian is perfect for harmony, imagination, wishes, happiness and Copper is cleansing, assists in balance and communication... It's a great combination. Those little copper beads are a bear to get on though....did I tell you I flunked home ec? Something to do with patience. Ha Ha. I had to make my throat chakra bracelet first to ease the words in my throat while I'm making them. :) I love my throat chakra one though, it's my favorite, lapis lazuli, china jade & hematite. It'll be on my website later today.

So next came chakra prayer chains for your car rear view mirror. I've had one of these on my car for years, since a woman's retreat where a good friend taught us how to make them. When I'm at a stop light and I need a little oomph, I'll hold the bead that corresponds to the chakra I'm working on that day and just breathe it in. (hey, it's better than cursing the traffic!) I love the way the light hits it, and I don't mind telling you, somedays it's the only way I can tell it's my car in the parking lot.

I no sooner started feeling more confident about the making of the bead stuff that I had to try and photograph them. Ugh. 400 pictures and only a couple of them worth putting on the web site. Barry and I were crawling on the floor, trying this background and that, this setting and that lighting and let me just say: I have a new respect for photographers. Especially ones who photograph stuff. I guess you need the right camera. Oh well. Now, if I can just get my website software to work for more than 2 minutes....

Hey, is mercury in retrograde? Carol, I miss you!

Here we go round the mulberry bush...again.

Sometimes I feel as if I am just circling the same things over and over. I don't think it's an accident that a mulberry bush popped up in my front yard without me planting it. True story. Big ole mulberry bush. When my daughter is home or my husband is in a good mood, sometimes I can convince them to go round it with me. But only once or twice. And you better believe there's no way my son will go round the mulberry bush with me... he's way too cool for that.

The mulberry bush flowered this year, creating big ole mulberries for the birds who really weren't interested and then promptly dropped all of it's leaves like it was done. I can certainly relate.

It's been a year since I decided to really have a go at changing my "please don't pay me" business to a "I honor myself and my gifts so go ahead and pay me" thriving self employment. If you had any idea of the obstacles that have been placed in my path in the last year you would probably think I was insane to have lasted the year. Or maybe masochistic. Every time I worked one problem out, something else crept up. Locations, personalities, bats, overscheduling, excuses, finances, issues, issues, issues with so many oh lordy don't even go there....round and round and round the mulberry bush. All the while trying to deliver quality, spiritual, happy moments.... One week with a dozen, the next with none. And don't get me wrong, the completely in my element, all is right with the world moments that carried me through the next 15 boomerangs.

The real thing that has carried me through all of it was a deep inner belief that this is what I was meant to do.

The thing that has occurred to me lately is that why would so many obstacles be placed in my path if this was what I was meant to do?

The second thought is then what? And where? And how? And most of all, why?

Why is it when I am teaching yoga, holding a restorative day, doing reiki, playing with soulcollage, doing a reading or listening to a friend that I feel completely present and alive and blessed? Why is it that so many have said how much they LOVE it only to not return? What is the missing piece? Or Who? Or What?

I think I'm gonna stop going round the mulberry bush. I might just sit there for a spell. Let the berries drop on my head and see if they can put some sense into me. Maybe I'll start going loop de loo instead....

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming....

Anyways.

Had a chance yesterday to do some readings at the Spirit Door. They were over the top good-- dead on, so to speak. Doing readings on complete strangers is very interesting. As the cards pop up, one by one, you can see their eyebrows going higher and higher and then they start nodding their heads and then a lot of times they just bust out laughing with the rightness of finding out what they already knew. Then they look at me nervously with the "are you a good witch or a bad witch?" look. And I have to reassure them that I'm not a witch at all... at least not what you think.

It's all about trust. When I interpret the cards, or teach yoga, or do Reiki, I never think, "oh dear I need to try and do a good job or figure out what these mean or what to teach or where to put my hands!!!" I just trust. Take a deep breath. Know God is there. Always. I will be guided. If that is the will.

Sometimes, especially when doing Reiki, I feel this humongous opening in the top of my head and roots in my feet. Almost as if there is no end and beginning to me and my physical body-- there's no conscious thought-- more like, "extra here, stone there, warm, pull" cept without words. In tarot and yoga, it's even less, like there's no head at all. Like I just wake up in the middle sometimes...

Had some long time students tell me a bit back that whenever I say "picture the crown of your head opening up and a white light coming in" that it creeps them out. I was stunned. Like, that's what every yoga teacher I've ever had said. It's a really strong visual, a connection to Source. I've been really reluctant to say it in those classes because I want them to relax during relaxation, not think of brain surgery... But what occurred to me was that it's the difference between thinking and not. Like, when the sensation of the crown opening and the connection being established occurs in my world, it's like a melting away of this plane to another, I don't think I've ever thought literally about it. Like a to do list:

1. Lay down
2. Remove hair
3. Cut open top of head
4. Peer inside hellllllooooooooo
5. Create virtual stitches to adhere scalp back in place

I feel bad that for years people were laying in relaxation pose feeling like they were having brain surgery. Although, there's more truth to that being the real purpose of relaxation pose anyway but I think if you are that literal you won't get that either.

Lobotomy & Meditation....

Anyways. Have a great week. Connect with your Source. Even if you have to perform virtual brain surgery to do so. Namaste'

Censoring Myself

Do you find yourself having great blog topics but feeling like you just don't have the energy to deal with the controversy they would cause? Like Sarah Palin.

Am I nuts? Doesn't she remind you of all those women? You know, the ones who think being mean and catty makes them tough? Since when did that become what the world aspires to? Honestly. In the Washington Post the next day, just on the cover alone, the word STRENGTH/STRONG was used over 25 times. Like that's all that matters in politics and government. Not once was the word compassion used. Not once.

I'm sorry, but I think Bill Clinton put it best "we should lead by the power of our example.... not the example of our power". Seriously. Do you really think that schoolyard bullying is something that should be glorified any more than it already has been in the last 8 years?I am just stunned. I feel like I'm in some kind of twilight zone-- the same way I felt 8 years ago. How is it possible to see so clearly the fork in the road and once again, have the rest of the USA choose the path that leads to more war, more bullying, more deficit, more UGLINESS?

It was ugly, Sarah Palin's speech. Ugly and bitchy. How it is that people are rejoicing over her snide little bitchy comments makes me want to run for the hills. I am a woman. And I resent the implication that woman will vote simply on the basis of who has a vagina. Seriously. How dare you?

I will not vote for a woman who has a 4 month old with severe disabilities, who is still nursing. Is she crazy? I don't know about you but when my babies were 4 months old it was hard enough to think straight, let alone run a country. I will not vote for a woman who glorifies her daughter's pregnancy at the age of 17 as a perfect choice over other CHOICES. Is she serious? I am the product of a 17 year old mother-- do you want to know how many years of therapy I had?

And while we are at it, since when is personal life off topic? I mean, seriously, during the Clinton years we not only heard every excruciating detail of his personal life... it was front page news! Give me a break. I have had enough of this double standard BS.

Seems to me the difference between the 2 parties just boils down to manners. Promoting bitchiness as "strength", calling unwillingness to go to war "unpatriotic and cowardly", and don't even start me on turning our back on the rest of the world to show how tough we are. You have got to be kidding me.

The power of our example should consist of decency. Concern for all. COMPASSION. And most importantly, being accountable for our actions. That is what prevents future disasters... being accountable and learning from our mistakes. Facing responsibilities. And choosing the best path when presented with the fork in the road... not the easy one... the road apparently less traveled in the USA. And while you're there, take a friend.

Honestly. Unbelievable.

You know what? I changed my mind. Bring it!

10 Other Things Going on at Yolinna's Other Mat

1. Restorative Yoga Day was beautiful and quite relaxing. (for me too!)

2. Cory has been attending classes full time at PGCC and really enjoys them.

3. The Birdhouse Gourds are humongous! See:

4. My next door neighbor sold his house. We will miss him! He has lived next door for almost as long as we have....he left us his patio set which is gorgeous and cushiony. Thanks Glen!

5. I have been creating all kinds of herbal products, the latest of which are "Soap Scrubbies"! They're little scrubby balls filled with herbs, oatmeal & gentle soaps and oils... lavender or mint... great for kids and adults... See:

6. I have reworked all my eye pillows so now they open at the side with velcro to re-up the scents and created all kinds of essential oils, fragrance mists and flower essences and am preparing for the Christmas rush. LOL!

7. We found a monarch butterfly that had just emerged from its chrysalis and a ba-dozen monarch caterpillars all over the milkweed in our gardens. See:

8. My mother turned 65.

9. We cleared out a bunch of old stuff. (not my mom ha ha)

10. We are getting used to using a webcam and messenger to communicate and my typing has increased dramatically. Plus! I've started writing again. (as opposed to blogging)

Hope you enjoyed this not about Rhia post LOL!

She's Happy!

Mountain Climbing and Smiling

A Beautiful Lake

Rock Hopping

A New Friend (who's last name is Miller too!)