One of the biggest advantages of maturity is the realization that immediacy is not always permanent. When you are young it's hard to realize that the way you feel RIGHT NOW can change RIGHT THEN. When my kids were upset about something not so humongous, and feeling as if it was the end of the world, I used to ask them to wait a day. They would argue with me that a day wasn't going to make a difference, that I was crazy and I just didn't understand!!! And then the day would pass.
They never once admitted that there was some wisdom to my craziness. It was hard fought wisdom, I don't think I really figured it out til my 30s. And the funny thing is that it was my kids who taught it to me. I would drop them off for the first day of school, they would be miserable. Scared to death, in their younger years crying, being pried off of me, teachers glaring at me. Ugh. I would spend the entire day frantic, waiting for the phone call, expecting all kinds of horrible things and dreading picking them up and seeing the ruin on their faces that years & years of therapy would never erase. 6 hours of worrying, pacing, feeling like the worse mom on the planet. I'd get there a half hour early to pick them up, trying to talk with the other parents, trying to smile without my face cracking and then finally, out they would come...
Skipping cheerfully with new friends, "Mommy, Mommy! Meet so and so! Look at what I made!" From the deepest depths to the highest high... all in 6 hours.
Imagine what 24 hours can do.
Now, granted, this rule doesn't always work. Sometimes it may take 24 days. Or even 24 years. But as the Buddhists believe, "Everything and Everyone Changes". You can bet on it.
I think we may need to remember this right now...
1 comment:
I learned this late as well but better late than never.
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