Realizations

I have come to realize that you can give me 50 days off in a row and I will STILL not get organized.

I have come to realize that I may be WAY too hard on myself.

And others.

I have come to realize that I just am over keeping a clean house. So over.

I have come to realize that I will never be a size 5 again.

I have come to realize that your children will always need you. And vice versa.

I have come to realize that no matter how many times I say never again it usually isn't.

I have come to realize that sometimes you just have to say your piece. Right or wrong.

I have come to realize that sitting and watching the birds and clouds is a direct gift from God.

I have come to realize that making mistakes is not all that. Living with them, however, is a much harder task.

I have come to realize that you do not get your brains until you are 30. Trust me. I've been there, done that. And I wouldn't have believed it either.

I have come to realize that most people go out of their way to sabotage. Themselves mostly.

I have come to realize that most rules are silly. And created to fulfill the above realization.

I have come to realize that believe it or not, I am loved. Flaws and all. And I love. Even with flaws. Wow. This ones a biggie.

I have come to realize that sometimes you just gotta cut yourself some slack. And others too.

Isn't being a grown up COOL????

Quick Wrap Up

Packed in as much as you can into one weekend again.



Had the SoulCollage Card Play which was really fun. We had some new people and they were so entertaining! They fit right in.



Saturday was a blur of actually putting some food into our house. Ugh. BJ's & Safeway in one day. Oh and the parade. I love those Bolivian dancers! Sue has a picture of it on her blog.



Sunday we went to church! It was youth sunday and the youth were amazing. My daughter sang her favorite song "Amazing Grace" in her favorite way... Gospel ... and without bragging I can honestly say she was amazing. What grace. We are blessed.



So on Monday we got to have some balance. She went out and got a tattoo. Now, while I do not condone her marring her beautiful skin that I religiously slathered sun block and lotion on to protect... it is a pretty tattoo. Says "Faith" and has a flower. I mean, really, how can you get mad at a kid who tattooes "Faith" on her arm? I secretly like the idea of her having a constant reminder when things are challenging but reallly....a tattoo? You should have heard my Dad the Marine when he found out. Who has tattoos all over his arms. But that's for boys.....



Let's see if I can show you a picture:

Ai yi yi....

Built a new deck for Rhia's party (and secretly...for yoga YAY!) Had my 2 of my favorite girlies over. All in all, action packed. And it's just getting started....

TTYS. LY. Bubye.

PS. Allison--send me your email address so I can send you something...

Alanis Morrisette Is A Prophet

How's this for irony?

When we were doing Children of Eden 2 years ago (really?!) there was a big push for wanting Jesus Christ Superstar to be the next play. When we were doing Into the Woods, every time I walked in a room "the band" would start playing the opening riff to Heaven on their Minds... ba bum bah bam bam bam bammmmm.... I tried to get the rights to do JCS last year but they were doing a national revival tour with Ted Neely, the original Jesus on Broadway.. which just sounds funny. BTW, if you didn't see it you missed a very old man flying above the stage in a diaper. In fact, he was so old that in the death scene we all started to become quite concerned that it was a bit too real, if you know what I mean. But as usual, I have digressed....

Cory REALLY wanted us to do JCS. He practiced Heaven on their Minds for a year. Every morning in the shower. Loudly. Jeeeeeeessssssssssuuuuuuuuuuuuusssssssssss!!!!!!!
He and Mario and Paul and Steven and Susan and James were crushed when we couldn't secure the rights. In fact, that was the number one reason I wrote Love Song so at least we could do a couple songs to pacify them. When the band was practicing, they would call Cory in to sing Heaven on their Minds cause it's such a hard song and he could nail it. Course he refused to do the show. And Rhia, she HATED JCS. Did not want anything to do with it. Wanted to be Sweet Mary, Mother of Christ.

When Rhia was a little girl she would get angry at her Barbies and rip their heads off. She would squash their heads back on so they had no neck and call them "Judy". Whenever someone made her mad she would point her finger at them and spit out "you...you... JUDY!!!" It was quite funny. She would wear a flaming orange wig to the grocery store and then get angry if anyone noticed her... "they are just JUDYs!" Mind you, she was 2 years old at the time.

Anyway, everyone wanted JCS to be next but I've been on sabbatical and was not sure I wanted to do anything heavy. Been thinking Alice in Wonderland or Willy Wonka.. I mean, how far away from JCS can you get??? In the meantime, PGSTT, another theater company that both my kids have worked with decides to do JCS. And gets the rights. Which I have to admit was a bit disconcerting... I always sort of thought we would get around to it eventually. So where's the irony?

Rhia decides to audition.

And Rhia gets Judas.

And gets to sing Heaven on their Minds.

And I guess since she's a girl the name will have to change.

Yep. Judy.

This cracks me up. But a further irony?

She's gonna play the betrayer of Christ and then go off to a Presbyterian college. With a tattoo.

Life is kinda funny, dontcha think?

It's like raiiiiiinnnnnn on your wedding day, it's a free ride when you already paid.... it's good advice that you just didn't take....

I don't think Cory is overly thrilled. Oh well. Maybe he'll do Alice in Wonderland with me. LOL!

My Golden Haired Boy is 50....

So, my husband turned 50 today. That seems a bit unbelievable to me. How did he get so old? Especially when I haven't.... LOL! 50. OMG. 50. He will be very happy knowing that I am freaking out about him turning 50.
`

Age is just a surreal thing, ain't it? You really don't feel any older than you did when you weren't.

`
Anyway, I will try and drop the subject cause he seems a bit touchy about it. You know how 50 year old men can be.
`

So here's what I saw this weekend:
`

Happy Birthday Honey!

Beware of Freecyclers

Ugh. What a wretched day I had yesterday. I have a bunch of stuff I want to give away. I hate the thought of throwing away perfectly good stuff, especially books, ESPECIALLY children's books. So I put out my first notice on Free-cycle. Well, I think I had put one out years ago that turned into a circus of someone wanting me to hold something and then never showing up. Anyway. I got back a bazillion requests for the books. It felt a bit overwhelming since I sort of had a lot to do. So I made a mistake.

I put an open offer for first come, first served.

You would think I took a gun and just starting shooting. First the moderator lamblasts me, basically calling me stupid. Then ALL the people who wanted the damn books start emailing me telling me how unfair I am and how their not going to waste their time driving by my house to see if the FREE books are still there. And they call me environmentally un-friendly. ME!

Now I realize that what I did was maybe not thought all the way through. And being a newbie at this, I guess I did not understand the whole game of whoever emails first, I'm supposed to hold the stuff and then waste my time re-posting if they don't show up after holding onto the stuff for a couple more days. And oh dear, I suppose putting your address on the internet is not really that great of an idea even though nowadays you could pretty much google anyone and find their address. I'm sure if some mad book stealers find out where I live and that I have books.....

Now, I realize that I am over-reacting mainly because:

1. I hate to make mistakes that I feel stupid about.

2. I have unreasonable fear occasionally.

3. I was raised by blue collar people with sunburns on their necks who understand the meaning of opening a six pack of whoop ass.

But I am hoping I have grown beyond a lot of that and am not allowing that ego nonsense to rule my life. However, I think that perhaps these people need some perspective. As in:

1. The books were free. You did not own them so you don't have to freak out that you lost them.

2. The rules say you have to live in Bowie so it's not like you are going that far out of your way to look and see if the FREE books are still there.

3. Jeez, I made a mistake, get over yourselves, why are you so willing to pounce? Is this how you spend your days?

Okay, now that I have that out of my system.....I will return you to your regularly scheduled spiritual network. Please forgive me if you are a wonderful free-cycler who just has the best intentions....would you like some free books?

Deep Cleansing Breath and Release.

Insert Title Here

I hope everyone had a happy Mother's day. I had a lovely day but my real Mother's day present came today when I read my daughter's blog. She's amazing. How did I get so lucky? For all of you struggling with those wretched pre-teen and teen years, let me assure you-- it gets much, much better. 18 is a delight. For girls anyway....

I am utterly content most of the time. Been keeping up with my own practices, my spiritual tools and feel much more balanced and relaxed. Funny how that happens. Had a great reading the other day. Quick recap:

Integration--union of Eagle & Swan
Creativity--possessed of the divine spirit
Compromise--don't sell out
Change--hold to the center
The Creator--have a masterpiece inside of me, step aside
Totality--FOCUS completely
Flowering--my personal card, Queen of Rainbows scattering seeds...oh yeah!

As you can see, it was very insightful and timely. I did get to spend some time scattering real seeds on and off on Saturday in between rain clouds... What about this weather, Eh? Had to take a machete' to the wisteria. Caught the mailman in the front yard scratching his head, looking like he was just gonna throw the mail in the street since he couldn't find the path into the porch. Poor guy. Course I was afraid to come out for fear the vines would reach down and scoop me up...

No worries, it is now contained. For the moment. If it keeps raining we may have to start using the side door. And fight the pyrachanthia. And weigela. But at least it smells good.

Did I tell you we've had an indigo bunting hanging around a lot lately? We saw a Baltimore Oriole, Scarlet Tanager and a half dozen Warbler species too. Very, very cool.

I really must be off. And not my rocker, that's already happened I think.

Pray for my friends Barb & Tracy as they deal with their parent's health issues. Hold them in the Light. Thanks!

Ugh.

I wish I had time to tell you all about it but sheeesh...

Real Quick: (I know, right?)

I have had not one but TWO life coaches coaching me. Together with Sheree, we created a "Board". I'm not alone! We met on Sunday after the Spirit Door and came up with all kinds of great ideas.

We are all very excited about this-- Carol & Jami are incredibly smart, capable women. Carol took care of all the finances and kept things moving with her singing bowl and kept everyone comfortable so Sheree & I could give Reiki and Readings to all that requested. It was very, very cool.

As I told them, "I feel as if I am being held up, lifted, so I can soar"

Heck yeah baby! The sky's the limit!

More later. Sunshine needs to get on my shoulders...it'll make me happy.....

Did You Ever....

Have one of those times in your life where you could pinpoint exactly the moment that your visualizations came true? And then you knew that things were going to get very interesting from that point? And you could step outside of your life and watch what was happening with the same intensity that you give a very engrossing movie? Will she? And will they? And oh my goodness what's going to happen now???? Will this be the moment that 5 years from now she'll be saying, "well, this wouldn't have been possible without the incredible support of ....."

Just wondering.

I think I packed as much into one weekend that is humanly possible. I know that sentence is wrong but I'm too tired to fix it... Anyway, here's a recap:

The first Friday Morning Meditation was heavenly. It was exactly what I had hoped. We did some beautiful Sun Salutations, meditated, sent each other and the world positive healing and then had tea on the deck in the beautiful sunshine. Oh wait--did I already blog about this? Feels like a month ago... Anyway, we decided this was worth doing every Friday so we will. I look forward to the next one. This Friday YAY!

Saturday was devoted to planting. All day. Like, I looked up at 6pm and thought it was 3pm. Covered in dirt....spent. Planted cosmos, lupine, sunflowers, asters, nasturtium, snapdragons, moonflower, portulaca, impatiens, dianthus, basil, cilantro, parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme, partridge in pear tree and a kitchen sink. Took some extras over to a friend and they gave me pepper & tomato plants in return --ai yi yi!!! I'm gonna have to start growing them in my tub... Still have a ton to do with moving some of my stuff so if you want any:

Rose of Sharon (purple & whites, don't know which is which)
Morning Glory (magenta)
Phlox (pink)
Black Eyed Susans
Iris (purple)
Day Lillies (orange)
Trumpet Vine (orange)
Sweet Grass & Yellow Flag Iris for boggy areas

Come get it. I'll be tossing it willy nilly in the air....

Anyway. All this and I haven't even started on Sunday. Take a deep breath, get another cuppa and keep going when you're ready...

Two months ago a yoga student and friend of mine asked me to speak at a Women of the Church (CCPC) luncheon. I am not a "speaker". I am a "doer". But she convinced me this would be good to let people who are new to the church know what it is I do and give regulars an update. So, I kinda put it in the back of my mind and tried to get out of it cause I was afeared so when it never showed up in the Caller (the 'weekly' newsletter) I thought maybe it was shelved. When the notice for the luncheon said there would be "entertainment", I thought I was off the hook. I emailed Barb and she said no... I WAS the Entertainment. Yikes. But no worries, I would just do what I do.

Once I made the decision not to speak and to teach instead, I was cool. Til I got there. And NO ONE knew I was coming. So after the 15th "what are you doing here?" I started getting a bit rattled. And then I find out they want me to wait til after the food is served. Like I'm going to teach people how to meditate while they eat. Or worse, after they eat. As they're leaving. Now, granted, they didn't realize I was actually teaching. And they are Presbyterians... food is a BIG deal. But as I said to the leaders.... it's not like their 5 years old. They can wait a minute to eat.

Realize this is all just nerves and rattling talk....

It turned out fine. They introduced me with loving words. I was thrilled to see so many people and get so many hugs and see so much love and spirit in the room. They held hands and gave each other energy. I cut it very short so they didn't have to wait too long for food and all was well. I had a Spirit Door right after so unfortunately I couldn't stay and really chat with these beautiful women so I'd like to take this opportunity to answer some of the questions:

What is the next play?

I would love to do a play this summer and was hoping to do it before the end of July. In chats with the powers that be, there was some concern that there aren't enough kids interested in theater at CCPC to warrant this. I have had many, many kids asking, begging, but unfortunately, not a lot of church members kids. If there becomes some members that are interested, I will do a play. I miss it. I love it and I had really hoped to do one before Rhia goes to college. There are 2 large plays going at the same time at other venues this summer (something we've run into before and part of the reason we moved the times) so I'm not sure it will work but maybe in the Fall. I really like to do plays with kids and adults, I think it gives unusual bonding opportunities. A friend had suggested a theater workshop for kids that intrigues me but we'll see....

And what about the Evening at CCPC for the grownups?

This was slated for April/May but our music director was very, very busy so we had to move it back. Maybe we'll kick off the new church season in September.... it will happen.

We heard you quit the church.

We (my family) have NOT quit the church. Due to many, many reasons, mostly having to do with our own busy-ness with Rhia's school and my Spirit business, we have been on sabbatical. We are hoping that some of the new changes the church is making will enable us to attend more regularly. We love the people at our church, they are part of our family, I have seen many of them at my yoga classes at the church and my spirit events in my home. We are still very connected. James & I speak frequently, I am excited about the new vision and have hope that things are going to get a lot better at CCPC.

And what about this rumor I heard that the church ran the Spirit Group out of there?

I don't know where this came from but let me address it here. We were very interested in bringing Spirit to CCPC. After quite a few attempts, it became obvious that there was not a lot of interest and/or the space we really needed to make people comfortable. In other words, it was a ton of work to move furniture around and cart all our stuff and then became disappointing when just a few people came. Reverend James and Building & Grounds attempted a few times to give us a room of our own but there was some difficulty & opposition. (it's a busy place) Since we did not want our Spirit watered down with unnecessary quibbling, we moved it to my house. This has worked out quite well for all. I still teach yoga there and feel very welcome. No one ran anyone out of anywhere.

What about Barry and the choir? Ask him. I will say this though... he's been a little busy too....

I hope that sets the record straight. But now I've run out of time to tell you all about my new board of spirit!!!! I'll try and continue later....

Have a marvelous, sunny day y'all!

Breath of Contentment

Yesterday I was worrying about my path. A beautiful soul intervened. Today my path was lovely. And it smelled very nice. Like lemons. The weigela bloomed.

It's funny how we need to be reminded so often of life being okay. Just when you think it's time to give up, something comes along and puts it all in perspective. Or someone. I am blessed with many someones.

Today we did sun salutations. We meditated and gave and received energy. We swallowed the sun. And then we got to know one another. This is what I love to do. Bring people together, help them relax and then hear their stories. And the added bonus is when they connect with one another too. I just want to hug all the people who have come my way, who are now friends. I was thinking today about how some of my students started as my friends. And some of my friends have become my students. This is all just really cool. Who da thunk it?

Anyways, life is rolling, rolling, rolling. My poor little wretched dog got very sick to the tune of $800. But fortunately she is okay...my family could not handle losing another love. Our tax return is totally messed up. Rhia's graduation is a grand possibility. Maybe. And then we will be having a very large party. I have an extreme back load of gardening to do-- the cosmos already have buds and I haven't even got them in the ground yet!!! As mentioned, the weigela is in bloom, bleeding heart still going strong and the wisteria....Oh my goodness....roses are in bud, frogs are a croakin', saw a Baltimore Oriole today!!! Exercised. Life is good. Up/Down.

That's Life, right?

Have to speak at the PWOC Luncheon Sunday... terrified. And then have the Open Door. Excited. Hopefully we'll be outside.....

TTYS. GTG. CU! L,L

The Weather Of Transition---Springtime And Teenagers

May 1, The season spring has long been used as a metaphor for unpredictability, with its transitional energy shifting from cold one day to hot the next. Wind and rain are hallmarks of spring, and they leave us feeling shaken up and unsettled as they sweep away the debris of past seasons, clearing the way for new growth. Rainbows follow on the heels of rainstorms, and the sun emerges, coaxing tight buds to finally soften and blossom forth into the world. With the arrival of summer, things settle down a bit, with more predictable weather, and we all breathe a little sigh of relief, because even though we love the wildness of spring, it is not exactly an easy time.

The same could be said of the stormy period of the human life cycle known as the teenage years. Like the surprising spring winds that come out of nowhere, throwing the scene into chaos, and then dying out, the moods of the teen years are doing the work of sweeping away the dust and dried leaves of childhood to make way for a whole new person. Like the rain-cum-hail storms that move in fast and then pass suddenly to make way for a calm, warm afternoon, our teenagers shift back and forth from the child we have always known, to the moody entity that has come to inform us that things will never be the same again. This can be a challenging time for all involved, as we let go of a past we may have cherished, and try to be open to the new thing being born.

If we remember that the unpredictable moods and the unfamiliar outbursts are the natural weather of transition, we stand a chance of getting through it with our equanimity in tact. We can remind ourselves not to take it personally, any more than we would take an unexpected snowstorm personally. This way, we won't add to the drama with our own unresolved feelings and issues. Regardless of what we do or don't do, the wild weather, and the unpredictable moods, will eventually settle, and we will find ourselves once again in the midst of a calmer season.