Gardening

Yes, gardening.  Let's talk about that.  I bought my plants too early this year. I left them in the trays and put them in a blank space in my front garden where I would walk by them everyday so I'd remember.  So, yeah, I kept walking by them...

Sunday turned into plant savior day.  Will I drop everything and perform instant CPR/POR (can't play round? plant or die?) Well, of course, nothing else to do.  Phone a'ringing, laundry a'calling, work to do, but no-- code blue STAT!

My husband has a tendency to clean the gutters by scooping up the spring mush and throwing it willy nilly where it lands. For the 29 years that we've been in this house, my response has changed from "dear, please don't throw all those seeds & gunk in the garden, let's rake them up together." to arms akimbo, head shaking "REALLY??? WHAT KIND OF PERSON DOES THAT?"

I made the mistake of putting my too early bought plants in the garden where the willy nillies landed. So, Saturday I planted stalks with no leaves... basil, cilantro, impatiens... at least I hope thats what they were. Lots of potential maple trees were killed in this process. But fortunately, I am a yoga/reiki master teacher which means:

My husband is still alive.

Unfortunately, the folks that wanted to hang with me or have me return their calls/emails or get Reiki were on their own.  In the triage process, those in imminent danger of death have to go first. Unless the doctor is unstable and may be the cause of death... in which case, my husband felt it best to stay as far away as possible.

So there you have it, the most important thing going on in my life right now.

PS. Oh yeah, forgot! We go to North Carolina tomorrow to watch my daughter be the first person in my family to ever graduate from college. NBD.

PSS. Y'all sick of that yet? LOL

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Interesting

I find it interesting that the people who do their best are always the one worried that they did something wrong and the ones who do something wrong think they did their best. Crazy.

We have had a whale of a whirlwind around us.  My daughter is getting ready to graduate next month with a bachelors degree in Enviromental Science. Crazy.

She brought her boyfriend to meet us over Easter and we loved him. They have some whirlwinds around them that are quite formidable... but I think they'll be fine. Eventually. Crazy.

Business is good. I've been doing better at connecting with my friends. Barry got his Level I YogaFit training. Our cat is still alive and we keep praying for her to join her maker. Peacefully. But soon. Crazy.

I'm getting more cardio and hope to be a size 5 by summer. Now that's crazy.

I miss the old ways and the old friends. I look forward to new ways and new friends. Every step takes us closer to the dream, just never in a straight path it seems. Crazy.

Barry & I have been trying on the titles of Matriarch and Patriarch and considering buying a compound in Dallas. Or Knots Landing. Or creating a Dynasty in Fenwick. Which ever comes first. I don't have to tell you what that is.

Time has been killed in the making of this nonsense but no innocent animals. Yet.

You ever have one of those moments where you did the right thing and then you realized that all the signs were around you all the time and you just kept trying to talk them away even though deep down you knew that sooner or later you were gonna have to do the right thing anyway?

Yeah, me neither.

Just kidding.

I feel more like I do now then I did when I first got here.  Today, I stepped back into my shoes and put my foot down.  I stewed. I agonized. I fought my demons and the Light won. As always. And I saw the Light come back in the eyes of those counting on me. Whew!

I always get there eventually.  And then I wonder what the hell I was thinking.  But it always stuns me that people can be so self serving that they would make another feel insignificant in their desire to feel significant... you know?

But anyway. I feel good tonight.  I feel like I took a stand that brought me back to my feet. Sort of like the pic that came up on my news feed today:



Trust me on this.

Where did February go?

Think I missed a month.  In February I went to see my best friend in Florida.  This created much juggling and chess playing.  Fortunately, I am blessed with really great partners who encourage me and support me and kick me out the door when I need to re-group.

I had a marvelous time, enjoyed some me time, some BFF time and even some get to know my BFF's BF time.  Went to Key West, had yummy food and drinks, read some books all the way through and got a chance to remember what I am like when I'm not saving the world. 

Still fit in all my usual activities, attuned some new healers, taught a ton of classes, had a ton of appointments. Life is rolling, rolling, rolling.  Hit a weird spot last week. Looked up and realized that what I have been hoping, praying and working for over the last decade has all happened. In every phase of my life. My children are grown ups with happy relationships.  My career is thriving, peaceful and rewarding.  My marriage is a true partnership. I know who my friends are and feel blessed by their love. 

How odd.  And wonderful.  All week I've been very introspective and reflective. I feel as if we are on the major brink of the next thing.  On the edge of the next chapter.  All my friends who have kids the same age as mine are feeling it, we're talking about it, "how did this happen? how did we get here or more importantly, how did they?"  They are getting real jobs. They are having serious relationships that look like they may be permanent- 'the One', they say with sparkles in their smiles. It's all very exciting albeit a bit scary.  Some of my friends are already grandparents, how strange.

I feel like it was just yesterday I was the young girl with the sparkle in my eyes, planning my own wedding, being head over heels in love.  I was the expectant mom, excited and terrified, overcome with the biggest love I had ever felt when they put that baby in my arms for the first time.  I was the proud mama, cheering my darlings on every step of the way, planning birthday parties, making new friends, overwhelmed with dogs, cats, guinea pigs, rabbits and of course, many, many kids running through my never clean house.

My house is clean now.  And quiet.  But I am not sad, in fact, I am quite the opposite.  I feel excited, like, thrilled even... now we get to do it all over again!  We get to live it all again through the lives of our kids... who get to live it all for the first time. To hear my daughter "smile" over the phone when she reveals that she's falling in love for the first time. Seeing the pictures of the flowers her beau sent, and sharing the joy of her first real Valentines date.  To hear my son and his girl giggling and talking, having fun together, what a joy! Barry & I sometimes beam with ear to ear grins when they start belly laughing-- just like we did when we heard it from them the first time when they were babies, and remember when it was us rolling on the floor, giggling over some shared silliness.

It is so cool that God planned it all out this way.  We get to live our lives with all the uncertainties and insecurities and then take all that we learned and share it with the lives we created with the joining of our own.

Just a bit mind boggling sometimes- eh?