How I spent my summer vacation.

Mmmmm.....

Comic Relief

Since JCS is so dark and I've been so anxious and depressed about it, I think it's time for comic relief. We went to see JCS at Wolf Trap last summer. It starred Ted Neely, the original Jesus from a hundred years ago. The gasp when he came out for the first time was priceless, the whole crowd turned to one another and said, "He's OLD!" He's sort of short too and obviously has done chi gong or tai chi or something because all his movements were slow and slower. From a distance he looked quite Asian....

There's a line in "Last Supper" where Judas is screaming (as usual) at Jesus and he starts calling him a faded, jaded mandarin.... I never got that til I saw the show at Wolf Trap... He really did look like a faded mandarin. Not the orange so much.

At any rate, the highlight of the show is of course the end. At Wolf Trap, they put Jesus up high on a cross, dressed in a glowing white diaper and he has a very prolonged, agonizing scene where he struggles for breath as he is dying... Except, unintentionally, since Ted is so thin and obviously has major breath control it was just a bit too real. We were turning to one another, worried, "do you think he's okay? it looks like he may be REALLY dying" We were relieved when he ascended, flying through the air in his glowing white diaper... which was very appropriate for a very old man...

I tell you what though... that man can SING! Oh my gosh, his voice just soars-- it's unreal. I finally saw the movie for the first time recently... he was kinda hot, you know? If it's not blasphemous to call Jesus hot....

And speaking of blasphemy, those nutty kids have been completely inappropriate at PGSTT. Look at this:

It's fun to stay at the.....

As Anthony, PGSTT's Jesus says, "and that, my friends, is how you buy yourself a one-way ticket to hell" And the Christ MCA....

Remember, it's just comic relief.

Dude

Feel like I'm on the Autobahn. Trying to find an exit but the other cars won't let me over.

Okay, that was a bit dramatic huh?

Had an entry that I wrote last week that was brilliant if I do say so myself but in the interest of protecting the innocent, I had to erase it. So. Instant reply of the week:

Went to first night of tech week for my daughter's show, Jesus Christ Superstar in which she plays Judas, and freaked out. 6 pages of notes, emergency trip to her voice teacher and 'our' musical director, blocking, blocking, teaching her Reiki moves so she can teach Jesus....and realizing I may have a tiny control problem considering my anxiety when I am not. In control that is. Busy all week, high, high, high anxiety opening night (for me, not her) and it turned out okay. She was great, everything was smoothed, why did I worry?

Go to donate blood the next day, they take my blood pressure and I won't even tell you. Yikes. Course, then I get the inevitable "ummm, aren't you a YOGA teacher?" Yeah. I am. Just like with therapists, you get drawn to the profession you need the most.... physician, heal thyself.... whatever the hell that means.

Have to go watch my daughter betray Jesus and hang herself AGAIN on Sunday-- I don't mind telling you, I am not fond of this show under normal circumstances but to have Rhia doing it...I just feel really stressed out about the whole thing. Go straight from there to St. Pius to watch Children of Eden, my FAVORITE show, and am very pleased and happy with it. Tra la la....I get my good buddy the videographer to let me sit up with him on the tables where he is filming with the promise to not move and be quiet... I'm loving it.... and then they start singing The hardest part of love, is the letting go....

I apologize to St. Pius for ruining their tape.

Oh Lordy, the sky opened up and the waterworks turned on and I just could not get myself together.


And it's only in Eden grows a rose without a thorn
And your children start to leave you
On the day that they were born
They will leave you there to cheer for them
They will leave you there to mourn ever so
Like an ark on uncharted seas their lives will be tossed
And the deeper is your love for them
The crueler is the cost
And just when they start to find themselves
Is when you fear they're lost
ohhh

But you cannot close the acorn
Once the oak begins to grow
And you cannot close your heart
To what it fears and needs to know
That the hardest part of love
And the rarest part of love
And the truest is part of love
Is the letting go

Oh Dear.

You are now entering....

At King's Dominion there was (is?) a ride where they had small tv screens positioned throughout and a strange man's head would, in a very spooky voice, say "you are now entering the bermuda triangle". Very hokey. So, of course, for years this has been our mantra whenever anything hectic is about to start. Like Tech Week. Which starts today for Rhia's performance of Judas in JCS.

Tech Week is legend in the theater. If you are a theater geek, just saying the words brings a shiver of fear. This is when all hell breaks loose. You are running the show, sometimes for the first time if you are not an anal director like me. You are running it with sound, lights, costumes, props, sets....and this is what separates the men from the boys. You sort of WANT tech week to suck, it helps you find out what needs fixing. You'd rather know it now than after the show starts. Plus, the worse it is, the more the cast bonds and the better the show is. It's weird.

It's weirder not being the director/producer. It's a huge lesson in control-itis. I don't mind telling you this show is very important to me and it's taken everything I have to not barge in and try to 'backseat' direct it. It's just..... well, the story is REALLY important. And Rhia's part is huge and hugely demanding vocally. And well, you gotta FEEL the show. And I do. And have. And will.

Barry & I have held off going to the rehearsals til now. Cause mostly, it's not my place even though the directors have been very sweet inviting me. I'll do the show next spring-ish. We are going tonight, the first night of tech, because we can just go watch and hopefully, I'll keep my mouth as pinned quiet as possible.... cept for Rhia who already knows and wants me to take some notes and give some input. Mainly I'm going cause I love the cast & directors and I can be Rev. Yoga Healer and add some calmness to the bermuda triangle.....

Can't Wait! I'm sure it's gonna be GREAT!!!!

Insight of the Day

You teach people how to treat you.

And it's really hard to un-teach them.

~~Linda Miller, Rev. Yoga Healer aka Sensei

Woo Hoo Be Dooooooo!

My bottles came yesterday! Beautiful little blue bottles with all different types of tops to be filled with magic potions and smelly things, can't wait to get putzing.... Got some stuff in the way first but will try and clear as soon as I can.

Had a huge epiphany yesterday but in the interest of protecting the not so innocent, I will refrain from broadcasting it. However, the end result is I will do what I want. So there. Now. ENOUGH!!!!! Butthead.... Is that mature enough for you?

Went to Mission Council meeting last night. Did you hear that? It was a deep heavy sigh. I have discovered that it is pert near impossible for me to sit quietly and calmly and listen when the subject makes me impatient. I really need to grow up a bit, I suppose. Still. And Still, come on! Let's just do it! Sheesh.

Tick, tick, tick..... That's what I'm a hearing in my head. First this. Then that. Then That! And then what?

Had a dream last night that I convinced the pastor at my church that we needed to do Willy Wonka in October, performance in November right before Thanksgiving and then JCS in January, performance right before Easter. For real. Biggest question in the dream? When's Easter? Biggest question in real life? What the hell am I thinking?????? Wish I could clone myself.... I miss the theater....(say that with eyes rolled back, slight french accent, arms a flailing)

Oh dear, I gotta go. Still in my nightgown, client coming momentarily.... Have a lovely day, dude!

Stop & Look

Had a good friend come to Meditation Night last night. She and I were very, very close a few years back but went our separate ways or in different directions. When she & I hung out a lot, we were both very frustrated and controlling and spent large amounts of time defining every thing that was wrong with everything and everyone in our circles. Somewhere along the line we both hunkered down in our own lives and let go of what was wrong in every one else's. The big news? Life still went on. Without us. Imagine.

We were standing outside after class, just basking in the glow, feeling our friendship and one of our formally favorite 'chew it til it's dead' subjects came up. Here's what's astounding:

It turned into a frank discussion of how happy we are. How blessed our lives are. How we never would have imagined doing what we are doing and how lucky we are to do it. Every day. This is our life now. And I was struck by the thought that even though both of our lives had changed dramatically and even though we hadn't really made a specific place for one another in our 'new' lives, we still had a large place in our hearts for each other. And the force of our friendship had created huge necessary change which, although painful, had been an enormous catalyst for who we are now. And how cool it was that we were no longer bound by dissatisfaction, we could create a new friendship based on satisfaction. Wow.

Clarity is a cool thing. Present-ness is amazing. Having moments within moments....

Take a look at your relationships. How many are based on a need for gossip or other's problems to be a topic of your conversation? Can you change those friendships into genuine concern for yourselves? It's an interesting thing to do. And while you're at it? Get rid of those toxic ones. They really aren't doing you any good. I know. I been.

Flower Essences

I've been making Flower Essences! I've got impatiens for impatience and trumpet vine for the throat chakra....
Willow for releasing grudges and Bee Balm
for manifesting JOY!

So Fun! Here's the finished product... well, minus the flowers inside... these were soaking up a bit more sun outside my spirit room window...

I have just been in mass production lately. Did I tell you I found a source for flax seed? Maybe that was a newsletter.... Anyways, I have 50 pounds of flax and have been making all kinds of eye pillows and boo boo pillows and dream pillows and belly soothers. Heaven. Just absolute heaven. My house just reeks of goodness. Lavender and mint and jasmine and cloves and a beautiful lily that bloomed and fell outside my back door....tra la la.....

Okay. I've been a little lost in my stuff lately. Went to Women of Faith on Saturday. Interesting. Some really GREAT music! OMG! How I wish I could go to a church that had music like that! My buds and I were dancing and clapping and yelling and a hootin and a hollerin'.... Kind of depressing. You Know? A bit of it was a bit too .... what's the word? Crud. You know when they try and make you feel something instead of it just happening? Some of the speakers were that. Contrived? I don't know. Other ones were hysterically funny and very touching.

Went and heard Mario's band in the rain last night. So cool. I love Mario and his family. They are the nicest people I have ever met. I just love being in their presence.

Meditation night tonight. Busy week. SoulCollage Friday. And then Tech Week for JCS. Trying to get Rhia ready for Montreat. And ourselves.... of course, according to her last blog, well, let's just leave it there.

Will have much more insightful stuff soon. Maybe. LOL!

Scheduling Destiny

My schedule is a bit twisted. I can't seem to find the blog time like I used to. Although I did find time to read a book so... time is just an excuse I'm afraid. Think about it. How many times have you said, "oh, I wish I could ________ but I just can't seem to find the time." Usually said while you are out at dinner or watching tv or something that maybe wasn't all that necessary in the long run. Truth is we find time for what we WANT to do. That's the truth. And sometimes for what we HAVE to do. Which is really just another way of doing what we want to do.

Not that I don't want to blog. Just that I have other things pressing first. And maybe that's the second insight about time. Sort of like things coming up in a Que or rotating through, we make time sometimes for some things and then later take that time away to do something else. Like read a book. Which feels decadent. TV watching? Not so much. Why is that?

I try really hard to catch myself when I play the "I don't have time for _______" game. It's so easy to play though. Everyone's doing it. You begin to feel like something's wrong with you if you do have time. I guard my time. Religiously. And semi-faithfully. I know what I'm like if I don't have that don't haveta time. It's an ugly thing.

Taking up my time right now mostly is herbs. I am tickled to death that people are actually buying my herbal products. It's a long standing dream of mine, putzing in my gardens, drying herbs all over the place, rosemary, mint & lavender up to my armpits, life is GOOOD!!!! I found a source for flax seed last night and got 50 pounds of it! I have all kinds of potions brewing and I ordered a bunch of beautiful blue bottles to put them in. Oh, I am in heaven right now. My house smells like a cacophony and every where you turn are little projects I am working on. Now, if only I had the time.....

Time to focus, of course. I have a horoscope book that states your destiny. My destiny is Structure. Now, that means that the Universe will provide me with lots of opportunity to perfect my destiny. The meditation for someone with my destiny:

The secret to concentration is the acceptance of endless distractions.

The suggestion for my destiny:

Think of information as a tool. Realize that decision making is about putting all considerations into perspective. Don't feel overwhelmed. Get organized! Take one step at a time.

No kidding. Sometimes the irony of my destiny amuses me. So, someone who has trouble with distraction and feeling overwhelmed and disorganized chooses a career that is nothing but distraction and impossible organization. I mean, I work a bit in the morning, shift to another form of work in the afternoon and shift back in the evening without ever having a clue how many, who or what.....

I've said it before and I'll say it again. God must have a tremendous sense of humor. And I think I may be an endless source of amusement. Considering I have rarely spent more than a month with the same schedule in my life.... it must be quite comical.

Oh well. I will try and get organized and find more time to blog. Now, what to give up? I know!!!

The bathrooms are on their own. I apologize in advance.

Reiki

Have you ever had a Reiki treatment? It's something you have to experience, I think, to really understand. I mean, before I became attuned or received a treatment I don't know if I really would have gotten it. How can someone's hands hovering over you and gently holding yours do anything?

Once during a women's retreat, my friend Sheree offered to do Reiki as a demo in her room so people could see what it looks like. I, being very skeptical but wanting to support my friend, hopped up on the table and tried to make her look good. I didn't have to work very hard. The minute she took my hand a jolt of energy came rushing up my arm. Now, at the time I would have said it was the power of friendship and it was. That & much more, that is what Reiki is, just love and friendship, wanting the best for someone and asking for it. Consciously asking for it, also known as the power of prayer....

After that session, another friend came up to me with tears in her eyes. Now this friend is even more skeptical than I. She is very dismissive of new agey stuff, in fact, she was the one who was very upset about my SoulCollage stuff, feeling that I had become wiccan or something. She said that the minute Sheree took my hand she 'saw/felt' a huge flash of white light and it made her start sobbing with the power of our friendship. It's even more interesting when you consider that I barely knew Sheree at the time. Had only met her less than a handful of times....

It's hard to talk about stuff like white light, energy and prayer without getting all woo woo but sometimes it just really is unexplainable. Reiki is hugely mysterious, even to those of us who are lucky enough to be a conduit of the energy. We don't know why we can feel where the Reiki needs to go, why is there so much heat and why does it make people feel so much better? The thing about being a Reiki healer is that you don't need to know. You don't have to have the answers, you don't have to question the energy, you just know it's there. It's all about trust. Trusting the Source of the energy and power.

Reiki found me after I had attended a seminar at CCPC with a gentleman named Dr. Theodore Lichtmann. He was talking about his power to heal and how he discovered it when he was a child. He was a hands on healer I think, I don't think he was Reiki attuned but I could be wrong. The point is, he started talking about it and something within me switched on and I realized that I had it.... I had always had it but was reluctant to trust it or let anyone know I had it. I came right home and told my husband to let me try something... said a little prayer and just gave my self over to intuition and began 'healing'. I instantly felt heat in my hands and knew where to place them, it was wild. He had a shoulder injury for years that the next day went away. Now, some might say it was the power of suggestion or positive thinking. And It was. And more.

I decided after that to go ahead and get my Reiki attunement even though a part of me knew it was unnecessary. I already had it. But I thought it may make other's feel better....I didn't realize how it would deeply affect my life though. I had always been caring for others, Reiki helped me to start caring for myself. It's like a constant source of strength, like a physical sense of healing, like it is circling me and guiding me all the time, I just take a breath and there it is. There are so many 'coincidences' around the Reiki and the energy that I cannot deny it's validity-- even my skeptical raised by rednecks self. And I mean that in the most respectful way.

Ooops, gotta go to work, more on this later....

Hello!

I've been sick. Really sick for me. I am really blessed that I rarely get sick and usually when I do, a bit of yoga makes it better but not this time. But I'm better now, thank good-ness. Just a stomach thing I suppose but particularly violent which seems random. Unless you consider that Uranus has gone retrograde, then maybe it makes perfect sense.

Speaking of random, last night out of nowhere Ronnie Random says,

"So When are you going to update Your blog? Jeeeeez!"

And Patty Pipsqueak chimes in

"Yeah! No one cares about your silly events!"

And then Ronnie Random says,

"Amanda's dog is really nice".

Ummmm. Yeah. Life at my house. The fact that we know 3 Amanda's doesn't help. But here's your update:

While I was away, Ronnie rearranged my living room exactly how I told him not to and sliced up my wisteria so you can now get on my porch-- errgh.

Patty says, "Man! Now our house has no mystery!!"

But I did notice the mailman seems happier.... And Ronnie assures me that when we get our WII Mario Kart back we will be able to play much easier now that he has arranged the living room around the TV and Home Theater speakers. It's interesting how my flower bringing hippie poet has transformed into a 'bring me a beer!" caveman. (yes, Ronnie, I know you prefer wine and would never ask me to bring it--it's just for dramatic embellishment, like when I re-wrote the gospels LOL!)

Since I had a lot of time on my hands, most of it spent in the bathroom (sorry, too graphic?) I decided that what your supposed to do when your in the bathroom is read, right? So I grabbed the first book I went by in a mad dash (again, too graphic?) It turned out to be "The Pillars of the Earth" by Ken Follett. Have you read it? I haven't read fiction for a while--a very long while, so I felt completely decadent. Can I just say, "Wow"? I just said it. "Wow." What a dreadful book. So graphic. And upsetting. Turning my stomach. I can't put it down.

I had read some Ken Follett in my 20s. He's real action-adventure, I remember a book about Afghanistan.... Lie Down with Lions? I bought Pillars of the Earth for my mother-in-law for Christmas since it was an Oprah best-seller and supposed to be so over the top good. I'm wondering if she read it before she brought it back and if so, Oh my Gosh! It's full of murder and rape and pillage and horrible stuff-- sort of like a epic historical romance written by a man. Well, not sort of like. That is what it is. Don't get me wrong--it's really well written and very compelling, I think I just haven't read a book like this in a while. When I was young I used to read those historical romances all the time, in fact, most of what I know about history came from there. Why is it that accidental rape always leads to great towering passion in these books?

What the Hell?

So, that's where I've been. Sick and sickened. But I have to finish this book. I have to make sure that the evil, disgusting William gets his just desserts. And that everyone lives happily ever after. Like me and my caveman. And Patty Pipsqueak and Billy Bi-polar.

Don't start me on him....

gtg, ttys, ly, bb!