Anxiety

I'm anxious today. I know to breathe through it but my monkey mind is trying to get the better of me. I was fine, excited even and then a conversation made me start worrying. Isn't it amazing how when you start worrying about one thing, the monkey mind gets excited and starts giving you lots of other things to worry about?

Like flying. I love to fly. I feel way more comfortable in a plane than in a car. But the news....ugh. Someone tied their cell phone to a block of cheese and tried to get it through security. Ridiculous, right? But of course the news turns it into a precursor to terrorism and that is why there is war in Iraq. WTF? So now I got to worry that my plane will blow up with a block of cheese.

I'm shy. Depending on how close you are to me, you may or may not know this. Lori gave me an itinerary of all the people she has me meeting in Oregon. Why I thought it was basically just her and me is beyond me....it's her home, of course there will be lots of people. I was floating along thinking how wonderful it will be to have someone else in charge and then *poof* major anxiety.

And worse. I am just a total sap when it comes to leaving my family. I don't like to be away from them. The last time I went away without Barry for any length of time, I ended up sitting in the airport with a delay freaking out cause I couldn't stand another minute. And I had Rhia with me and we had had a really good time. It's just a weird thing, we rarely have spent a day apart in 28 years, from the very first date. I've never been away from my whole family. I'm kinda having a hot flash/panic attack just thinking about it. Plus, there is just soooo much crud swirling around them right now with Rhia in tech week and me missing her opening night (a first) and Cory so unhappy with his job...ugh. So much for my tough facade huh?

Breathing, breathing. I think I'm just emotionally overwrought and drained over Harry Potter. And my flight home sucks. And I have a ton to do to go and a ton to do when I get back. Decisions to make and all kinds of details. Only one way to deal with all of it.

Yoga. And more yoga. and more yoga. Downward Dog in the aisles....hope I don't get bumped from behind with the drink cart. Just keep repeating...it's going to be fine, it's going to be fine. Mount Hood and waterfalls, things you have only dreamed of...

I can't wait to get home. Isn't that silly?

Let's suspend time...

I'm 2/3rds of the way through Harry Potter. Considering I didn't get to start reading it until yesterday afternoon, that's pretty good. Certainly not up to my usual speed but that's mainly because I don't really want to finish it.

I remember coming out of the theater after seeing the second Star Wars. Not the original second one but the second second one. I can't remember all the names...jeesh. Anyway, we were desolate. You knew where it was going, you knew what was gonna happen to Anakin but we sooo didn't want it to end and have it happen. It didn't help that the actor reminded us so much of Cory at the time. I remember just sobbing and thinking that so many horrible endings were coming. Anakin, Frodo (it was before the last Lord of the Rings) and Harry Potter....

It wasn't even that bad things were going to happen to the characters as much as it was that the stories would end. And then what? So much of my son's childhood.....and then my daughter's too. When we got to the end of Little House on the Prairie together...and now when she finished Harry Potter and thrust it in my hands and said, "hurry Mom, read it, we HAVE to talk about it!!!" Every book that the kids read growing up, I read. Even the teenage girl stuff, Princess Diaries and the Traveling Pants. Even the Boxcar Children and Animaniacs. We poured through all the Little House, Little Women, Anne of Green Gables (well, I did), Chronicles of Narnia, Indian in the Cupboards, Winnie the Pooh (just the "pooh" alone will send me and Rhia to spasms of giggling), so many books, so little time. Even the horrible PG County Schools required reading crap that made them never want to read again, I read them all. I never could get them to do the Wrinkle in Time or my Jane Austin books but I won't give up hope. And I'm still not too keen on Cory's recent horror book obsession but fortunately I had already read alot of Stephen King so we can still chat about it.

But what now? Where are our new heros? Where are the Frodos, Anakins, Lukes, and yes, the Harry's? Are they out there and we are all too old now to know it? Or is the new literature as bad as I think it is? Who is the next Harry?

We have so many great memories, Harry and I. Cory had stopped reading--all the books he had to read in JR/Sr High were so depressing, he just didn't want to read anymore. I was beside myself. Reading is my passion, it's the one single thing that I believed helped me to survive my childhood. A great story and I was away in another land. I read anything I could get my hands on, sometimes over and over again. The greatest gift I wanted to give my children was a love of reading. Many an hour was spent laying on the floor beside their cribs (yes that young) reciting Goodnight Moon, Bumblebear, Go Dog, Go, Owl Moon, Velveteen Rabbit, we read them so much we had them memorized. Still do today.

I realize I am over emotional about Harry. Being on vacation in the Outer Banks when the 3rd (?) one came out and Barry and Cory on a quest to find it.....same as this past Saturday morning with Rhia.....who was too young when the first one came out, even though we still read it to her, she has caught up on her own as she's gotten older. Sigh.

Thanks J K Rowling. Thanks Harry, Ron & Hermoine. And Anakin & Frodo too. The memories are irreplaceable. They are my children's childhood.

I guess I have to go finish it.

Couple a random weekend musings..

The weather OMG!

Mario's concert so fun. He rocks. And June, the lead singer, is so amazing. But here's the interesting part....

At 2:30pm, the band starts playing "Knocking on Heaven's Door". Tracy turns to me and points to her watch and says "Oh my goodness, I think this is when Julia's service starts! Isn't it wild they are playing this?" We all pause and send the Casto's some smiles and energy. Next Song?

"Sweet Home Alabama".....where are they? Yep, Alabama.

We all had goosebumps! Very cool.

Went to church today and to the youth council meeting. I think I should get a bonus :) Extra day in heaven? Eternity plus one. I do have to admit that there are a few people over there that I just really love with all my heart. It's worth it some days. Course I guess I could love them here too--and have.

BJs. Have to get a bigger house to store all the stuff we buy to save a buck. Did get a new suitcase though. For my trip.

Is it possible to be excited, scared & serene all at the same time? Yep.

Sheree and I went and looked at the possible new spiritual center in Old Bowie. It's enormous! Could do three yoga classes at once there. Course the price is enormous too....sigh.

We had fire in the back yard last night. I think there was fire at Lavaughn's party too....seemed bad.

Isn't this weather gorgeous?

humpf!!!

Barry's comments on my last 2 posts:

"the one about the days makes you seem nuts" and "the last one started good but just went on and on like you got started and just didn't know when to stop, I mean, I was like 'jeez, enough already!' "

He's so mean. And occasionally truthful. It's not easy being married to a fount of useless knowledge. Just as it's not easy being married to a master of inconsequential weather observations.

Although, he is being a sweetheart right now. He and Rhia are on a search for Harry Potter. Poor man didn't even get his coffee. The minute he came downstairs I told him he must go immediately to BJs. Rhia was at Border's til 2am and had no luck.

Don't feel too sorry for him though....it was ten o clock when he got up. And he had a go cup for his coffee.

Keep your fingers crossed!!!

Messages and Insights

Last weekend Sheree and I went on a mission to discover the future. It started on Saturday with the Reiki Exchange that wasn't and continued to Sunday with the wandering the streets of Old Bowie saying, "hmmmm"....

When we started the Spirit Group (with our soul sister Lori) we were trying to find a space to hold spiritually enlightening gatherings with different focuses and themes. We tried one space and that didn't work, went to another and that didn't work. We decided that focusing on the space wasn't working so we would focus on the event instead. We quickly got tired of lugging all our stuff from one space to another. We got busy with work, plays, life and frankly, sort of got disillusioned with the whole thing. Some events were successful, some were beautiful to the few that were there...all were wonderful if not well attended. The good news is that even though we were having all kinds of growing pains and discovering each other's work styles, we all ended up still loving each other.

With Fall coming, I have been feeling like it's time to start planning if and when Spirit Group continues. Sheree & I were trying to discover where and when. It sort of feels overwhelming and exhausting. We know what we want, we know how to create it, we know we have what it takes to make it successful but we don't have the resources to make it happen. Like, money. And energy to do all we are already doing and then add more.

I was feeling a bit frantic about this earlier in the week. Then I realized that I'm just making myself crazy and need to let it go. (which is amazing and makes me so grateful for how far I've come) So I went to my altar, quieted my mind, repeated my prayer of thanks and put it in my Guide's hands. So, my Guide has given me the following insights this week:

The Sanctuary is within.

Casting one seed is just as important as ten.

Not burning yourself out will make you much more likely to succeed.

Having a home life is very important to your home.

It is from the quiet moments you create for yourself that dreams are formed and ideas are hatched.

It will come. Whatever is supposed to will.
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When your dreams or "end results" are stated generally, in broad brush strokes, like wealth and abundance, friends and laughter, health and harmony, then please, by all means, Linda, attach yourself to them. Attach, attach, attach. There is no limit to what you can have and no reason to expect anything less.
But when your end results are specific, like the ultimate car, a hot date, or a home in the country, a spiritual center, do not attach, do not attach, do not attach.
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You have the power to hurt yourself or to benefit yourself. If you do not choose to be happy no one can make you happy. Do not blame God for that! And if you choose to be happy, no one can make you unhappy. It is we who make of life what it is.Paramahansa Yogananda, 1893-1952 Indian Yogi and Spiritual Teacher
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We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny, but what we put into it is ours.
Dag Hammarskjold
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Light Is a Living Spirit

Concentrate your thought on light, rest in light, melt into light, soak yourself in light and picture the entire universe bathed in that light. Little by little, as you do this, you will find that all the elements of your being begin to fall into place, that this light is bringing you true knowledge, lasting peace, inner balance and power. Light is a living spirit.
Light is a Living SpiritOmraam Mikhael Aïvanhov (1900-1986)French philosopher and teacher of Bulgarian origin
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We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

Joseph Campbell
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"Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes shine to the stars. Enthusiasm is the sparkle in your eyes, the swing in your gait. The grip of your hand, the irresistible surge of will and energy to execute your ideas."Henry Ford ~ Businessman ~ July 30, 1863
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And finally, and by the way, isn't it cool that God knows how to email?
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Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths, or the turning inwards in prayer for five short minutes.

Etty Hillesum

Are you questioning the lack of twofer?....

Suddenly it's Thursday. I have no idea what happened to Wednesday. I have a sneaking suspicion it hooked up with Tuesday and went dancing down the street.

We have drama and more drama in our home. But I'm more concerned with the weather. As in:

What the heck is the deal with the Bowie Bubble? Why can't we buy a rain storm? As I write this it is black as night at 4 in the afternoon. But I go out and look at the sky......nuttin. It actually rained on one half of our yard only. True deal, it's like there's a line straight down the middle. One side damp, one side bone dry.

And I do mean bone dry. Being a naturalist (not necessarily a environmentalist) means that I plant what works here. I don't water, I don't use chemicals, when I am too lazy or busy to get a good compost pile I may use a water soluable fertilizer as a perk up but it's very rare. My philosophy has always been to plant way more than enough for the bugs and bunnies (haha unitentional) and weirdo fungi. I always have something in bloom just because of sheer over-doing. They don't call it the jungle for nothing. I never water my grass, I'm not even sure you could call it grass. More like green weeds and clover but it works for me.

I hate waste. I dry my heavy clothes on a clothesline and am obsessive about making sure I have a full load of dishes or clothes and getting the last bit of toothpaste/ketchup/etc. I have always been like this, long before Al Gore told us to. I keep most of my herbs and mater's in pots so I can water them by hand.....but.....

Last night we turned the sprinkler on in the front yard.

It felt like the plants were crying. Even the hostas are hostile. The phlox have cheery heads of pink and are all crumpled and wrinkled on the bottom. I don't remember even the big drought being this bad. When was the big drought? When no sprinklers were allowed? Like 6 years ago....

Whatever. I want a big blistering scary thunderstorm that ends in a gentle rain for 2 days except for 2 to 4 on Saturday when we go see Mario's band. Kay?

Do I seem a bit strange to you? Or should I say stranger than usual?

Have a nice day.

When it's time to change, you have to rearrange....

Remember that old Brady Bunch episode where Peter's voice is changing and they are in some kind of music competition and he keeps cracking? Of course, being the Brady Bunch they turn it into a positive and make it part of the song. I don't really remember but I'm sure they won, saved the world and created lasting peace in the process. I mean, they're the Brady Bunch, right?

So I got that silly song stuck in my head.

And I'm starting to think there was deeper meaning in the Brady Bunch. Like Mike Brady saying, "No matter where you go, there you are..." Have it on my kitchen wall even. Once I did a paper for my good buddy's philosophy class in college because she was burnt out and I think philosophy is a hobby. I based it on the secret philosophy of sitcoms. She got an A. I even worked my favorite saying into it

"You can't run away from your feet".
Chrissy from "Three's Company".

But I digress.

I am all over the place right now. There is swirling crud around my head (and computer) I am searching for solutions and I want them now. Based on all the stuff floating through my inbox, I'm not the only one. So here's the thing;

It IS time to change, what should I rearrange?

Oh Lordy.....What a loaded question....

Just have to shere

Here's my spirit sister's response to my last post:

Jim (her husband) would add:

"As you walk down the path, little birds hover over head with colorful ribbons tied around fresh sprigs of lavender... you glance up and smile as they gently glide down to attach them to your luxurious golden hair with delicate bows... you stub your toe and cry out "Son of a bitch!" before recovering your composure, smiling sweetly..."

I would add:

"Nubile male wood nymphs flit through the trees, beckoning you to join them in their lusty dance..."

Too funny.

So.... Yeah

Here's my spiritual center dream:

You pull into the parking lot that is surrounded with gardens, butterfly bushes gently swaying the butterflies into the breeze. As the breeze blows across your face you get a whiff of sweet lilac and thyme as you walk across a stone path to the whimsically decorated cottage door. Birds twitter from the many bird feeders and bubbling baths to your right. You cross a small bridge glancing down at the koi swimming underneath as you smile at the bullfrog bellowing from beneath the waterfall on the left. You hear the gentle sound of wind chimes above your head as you open the door.

You are greeted warmly with smiles from the people sitting on comfy couches and chairs in front of the fireplace. There is a bar area to your left where self serve tea with lemons and cookies await. You see a display case with other wonderful goodies and smell coffee brewing. There's a large bulletin board with the days events posted:

All Styles of Yoga; Restorative, Gentle, Power

15 Minute Guided Meditations throughout the day

Reiki Drop In Clinic

Bhangha Marsala Dancing

Stargazing

Mandala Coloring and Stampin'

Labyrinth Walking

Special Speakers scheduled: Knitters, Energy Workers, Ki Gong, Tarot Readers, BioSpiritual Focusing Groups, Environmentalists, Shiatsu Practitioners, A Whole Community of Like Minded Individuals....

You take a deep breath and begin to feel at home. You decide to begin exploring and are delighted as each room reveals a different activity, some lively with much laughter, other's quiet and reflective. You find an alcove with herb products to buy and inspirational placques and pillows and an assortment of interesting items from all over the world. You find a large studio with a yoga class in progress. You find a room with deep cushions on the floor, surrounded by murals of beautiful scenery and soft whispering music to restore your spirit.

Eventually you walk out the back of the building to a terrace overlooking a beautiful forest with a babbling brook running by. The terrace has tables and comfortable chairs and groups of people who beckon you to join them if you choose. You smile but are intrigued by the woods and decide to walk amongst a pine needle path winding around the bend. You come to a clearing surrounded by native plants and bushes. There in the center of the clearing is a fire pit surrounded by chairs. Off to the left is another clearing with benches facing the large lake. Off to the right are hammocks attached to trees with big pillows for your head.....

Your biggest decision here? What to do first......

Fulfilling A Promise

Cory Miller is a Computer Genius.

True Story.

Insert Witty Words Here...

I just had a really interesting dialogue in my head. I was thinking of how many times I have been talking to a friend and they've said, "yeah, I know, I read that in your blog". I think that's really cool. I know a lot of people feel like they are stalking if they read someone's blog or could never imagine having a blog of their own but so many neat things have come from having a blog that I feel like everyone should have one. Here's Why....

Top Ten Reasons to have a Blog

1. I have made friends with people who I would never have had the time or opportunity to know better if not for the sharing of posts and commenting.

2. Keeping a journal of any kind is a great way to add some perspective to what you think is a huge crisis. You can read your archives and see how you handled it the last 10 times you had it. Plus, it's a neat place to store a poem or quote that you want to remember.

3. Writing out your thoughts helps you process and clarify them. And more importantly, lets you get rid of them. All blogs have a feature to make your posts public or private so you don't always have to have your thoughts read by others unless you want to.

4. In todays world, it is impossible to keep up with what is going on in your friends/families life all the time. A blog lets you share in their triumphs, vacations, disappointments, etc. that you may miss in your busyness.

5. I have kept a blog on xanga for years where my kids and their friends blogs are. This has been invaluable in having a safe opportunity to know where they are coming from and to give help in a non threatening way. Many times kids are begging for help but don't know how to get it or are too embarassed to admit they need it. A simple post with some wisdom added or a comment letting them know they are not alone has really been an amazing way to help get them through their parents divorces, break ups, self esteem issues, fights with friends and all the other challenges of growing up.

6. When directing a play, it is invaluable to get a message out to a bunch at a time without raising your voice.

7. I cannot tell you how many times I have been comforted by my blog friends. In comments, in wisdom and in person--many times a blogger friend has come up and hugged me, knowing that I needed it. We don't always have time to discuss in detail what's going on--but they know because of the posts.

8. I have many people that I do not know in real life who belong to blogrings (places where people with similar interests join together) who have enlightened me. It is through them that I learned what a empath was, found many people just like me and found out maybe I wasn't nuts after all :)

9. I also have had the opportunity to sow my seeds to a larger audience then just my immediate circle who may get tired of my seeds. Ask my son--he definitely is sick of my seeds LOL! But ask one of my blog friends who was in desperate need and I was blessed to be able to help.

10. It's just really fun to post and read other's post....try it! www.blogger.com www.xanga.com

5 minutes

Quick post, gotta work....

Today is one of those get through days. Gotta teach, gotta go to back cracker, gotta go to doctor and get internal and results of blood and mammogram tests......yuck.

The back cracker is giving me a hard time. They don't seem to get it. I called and said I really don't have time to do the exercises today but I can come in and get adjusted if I have to and they were silly about it. Finally, I said, "Ummm, I'm a YOGA teacher.....I do those back exercises EVERY day, sometimes twice, do you really think that if I don't do them on your filthy floor that I would take the chance and not protect my back?" Duh.... like I would do anything to make my back start up again. I really like Scott, my doctor, but the staff. Ai yi yi. and I understand. Most people do not take care of themselves, me included. But when it comes to my back. Different story.

My class last night was heavenly. There seems to be some moratorium on yoga at CCPC so there were only a few there. I got to come off the stage and actually just do yoga. Ahhhh. It was beautiful, those who were there can attest. We stayed in relaxation for a long time and when we came out we collectively sighed. Mmmmm. A woman came in and was there for I don't know how long and we were so into it we had no idea she was there. She wanted to do yoga but wouldn't you know it, the one time someone new comes off the street, I'd washed all my yoga mats and didn't have one to lend. Hopefully she'll come back Thursday. I do miss all my yogi buddies though...

Looked at the calendar and we have scheduled Reiki night during VBS. Duh. You can't have Reiki with kids running around. Silly. The yoga will be okay, we can find a spare room but Reiki, I don't think so. May have to do by appointment in my back yard. Which actually is better. Just ask the others who've had a treatment there....

Yikes! 5 minutes long gone....

Crossroads

Been feeling like I'm at a crossroads. My life is peaceful, I'm doing what I love to do, I feel like I've worked through and come to terms with many things I needed to. It's almost like I've reached that make believe destination I was working toward, the "if I just get through this, then I'll....."

It's that "then I'll" thing. I guess vaguely I thought it would be rest. Then I'll rest. Then I'll relax. Hmmm. Summertime....and the livin's easy. I've never been really good at that rest and relax thing. Hence the yoga. I guess it's really comprehending that it is okay to rest and relax. And then really wanting to.

I'm weird. I like work. I like a project. I love learning and stretching my boundaries. Then why do I complain so much in the thick of it? It's balancing it all--working and resting---in the same month! Wow, what a concept.

It's picking the next direction that's the thing. I'd really like to take the next step with the spiritual stuff. Since that seems soooo unattainable, I just keep plodding along. I keep making bad choices to distract myself from my unattainable future which makes my future all the more unattainable.

I just want my own studio/spiritual center, is that so wrong?

Sigh. Hence the restlessness......

Character

Saw an amazing display of true character this weekend. When I was a kid, my family would go down to Edenton, NC where my Dad's relatives were. It was a whole 'nother world down there. People were out of their way generous and giving, wanting only to serve and make sure you had everything you needed and then some. True Southern hospitality. Their values were simple: honor, decency, warmth and the desire to comfort. They were who they were....and they made no apologies for it. True character in every sense of the word.

Went to a memorial where those values were amazingly abundant. It was so touching to see what a legacy can be left with just living your life in a good, decent way. I didn't know Julia very well, just her smile and the light in her eyes, a few conversations here and there, but I do know her legacies quite well. Every one of them.

The children are lively, talented, well behaved (I know their parents would give me a look on that, but I have spent many hours with many of them outside of their home, in pre school, in youth group, in rehearsals, in my kid's bedrooms, trust me, they are well behaved!) The adults are warm, fun, upstanding individuals, all of them looking out for one another in a quiet, non demonstrative way. Humble is a word that comes to mind.....not one that is used very often in our society, but definitely one that applies.

Sometimes when you know people very well, you lose track of how wonderful they are as you get bogged down in the day to day irks of the world. A memorial service, although very sad, is sort of a writing of a life, a way to step outside of the day to day and get a grand overview. For those who attend, it is a glimpse inside the workings of a family, all masks come down and you get to see who these people really are on their worst day.

Wow. All I can say is Wow. I feel blessed to be associated in any way with these beautiful people. And Julia.....what a legacy. Rest in Peace, for you can be proud of a life well spent, a job well done.

Namaste'

द्रेअमिंग....

Dreaming....

Everyone in my house is having really vivid, wild dreams. I have dreamt of a fox, a rat?, a humongous bridge that I decided not to cross since it was falling apart and a friend that I have been worried about. Bird earrings and a restaurant.

Rose told me that when you start having vivid dreams it's a sign that you are becoming mentally "well"; your subconscious is ready to let your conscience know what is going on so it can heal. You will notice that during times of crisis you tend to dream less, it is afterwards that you get the wild stuff. That may be true to a certain extent, however, I used to have a recurrent dream of a tidal wave that I would always have when I was in the thick of a mess.....course once I figured out what it meant, I haven't ever had it again. And I haven't created quite the same kind of messes for myself....

Anyway, according to the dream book and animal medicine cards my dreams mean:

Fox: become invisible, watch what's going on, use your cunning, danger from rivals (!!!) WTH?

Rat: hidden enemies (!!!) Again, WTH? Warning signal, nagging thoughts and doubts.

Bridge: now I just figured this meant I was not ready to cross the bridge when I came to it but according to the dream book it's a place of danger and falling, crossing a boundary. Symbolic of uniting, reestablishing relationships (hmmm, this friend..??) What the condition of the bridge is most important (umm, it was falling apart, metal bars literally falling into the abyss, which is why I decided not to cross it) Supposedly, when you cross the bridge you have done a lot of inner work and changes have taken place. There's a lot more but geesh....

Kinda makes me want to go back to bed and put the covers over my head.....course I'm not sure my mentally well self needs to know any more...

I wonder if the fact that both animals were shedding means anything?

I wonder if any of this means anything?

Yikes.

To whomever I have rivaled or enemied....Sorry! Can't we just talk about it? Or let it go?

Maybe I shoulda dreamed the bridge was on fire? Have I burned a bridge?

I think I'll stick with my interpretation: "Don't cross the river if you can't swim the tide....."

*Edit*

Went to a really cool site after I wrote this, here's what they had to say:

Fox
To see a fox lurking about in your dream, represents cleverness and resourcefulness. You need to use your insight and intellect to solve some problem. Perhaps you need to conceal your thoughts and/or remain silent. Alternatively, it indicates a period of isolation or loneliness. It is a good way for you to use this time to reflect.

Rats
To see rats in your dream, signifies feelings of doubts, guilt and/or envy. You are having unworthy thoughts that you are keeping to yourself but are eating you up inside.�Alternatively, it denotes repulsion. The dream may also be a pun on someone who is a rat.

Bridge
To dream that you are crossing a bridge, signifies an important decision or a critical junction in your life. This decision will prove to be a positive change with prosperity and wealth in the horizon. Bridges represent a transitional period in your life where you will be moving on to a new stage.
To dream of a run-down bridge, indicates that you should not contemplate any major changes in your life at this time.

To see a bridge collapse in your dream, denotes that you have let a great opportunity pass you by. http://www.dreammoods.com/



Course now I'm just more confused.....

"Don't try denying living on the other side, all your life.....you were on your own....."

Yoga

Just got back from teaching my night class--taught this morning for the first time at 5678 too. Can I just say that I am so happy my back is back? It's really cool what yoga can do. When I was younger, I hurt my back falling down on the bowling lanes....don't ask. Barry and I had the weird distinction of having the Ziggy clause put into our car insurance. We had a stretch of time early in our relationship where people kept trying to kill us with their automobiles. We'd be driving along, minding our own business and boom! Someone would crash into us. The insurance company said the Ziggy clause meant that if there was an accident in a 50 mile radius of where we were, we would be involved in it. Which was really not all that funny when you think about it....We were never charged, it was never our fault, we were just snake bit. Something like 10 in a year--for real.

Anyway, between the accidents and the bowling incident (seriously, don't ask) my back took a beating. Went to doctors who kept giving me pain killers and cortisone shots (seriously again, who gives a 20 year old codeine and percocet???) Had Xrays, they said I fractured a vertebrae, blady, blady.....took months to heal and I was young.

Randomly over the years it has flared up. Again, months. However, in the last 10 years since I've been doing yoga--only 2 flare ups. And each one over in a matter of days, less than 2 weeks. And with the exception of one day, I was never flat out....could still function. Pretty amazing.

If you took my classes this week, you could see--other than a bit less flexibility due to honoring--my back is great.

Thank God. And Yoga. And well, okay, the wretched back cracker.....

Good night. Sleep tight. And as far as those bed bugs.....ummmm....what is that about?

Horoscopes

My computer is acting up. Or Verizon is or MSN. Whatever. It's frustrating because I really don't want to sit in my office anyway. But I got a lot of gottas. That aren't getting done.

My horoscope today:

Vigor and irritability *
This is an excellent day for starting a new project, particularly one that you can work on by yourself, without having to take orders or coordinate other people's actions. You feel very vigorous and have a high level of physical energy, so you really need to be physically active today. One of the worst ways to handle this influence is to work quietly at a desk. You would quickly become itchy and irritable as your repressed energies try to find an outlet. It is important that you can identify with whatever you do today. Your ego energies are high, and you demand to be recognized as an individual. If you are not given this recognition, you are likely to become angry and easily involved in disputes. There is no question that unless you are totally occupied, you will be much more irritable than usual today.


I know, right?

All my gottas involve working at my desk. Newsletter, website updating, blogging, and fixing all the ding dang dong computer snafus that apparently only I know how to do. Makes me irritable.

The question is: Does a horoscope predict or create your reality for the day?
Power of suggestion and what not.

Had one of my favorite students tell me that I looked peaceful and relaxed and wonderfully refreshed yesterday. You know why?

Let go of my gottas. And unfortunately or fortunately, couldn't do most of my shoulds or oughtas or even havetas and what I thought I wanted.

Sometimes God knows better. Laying on a floor in pain unable to move is a really big lesson in letting go.

But I am grateful to be able to do yoga again. Have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE YOGA??????? Ahhh. Last night was a study in grateful lovelyness....

I don't think that's a word but if you were there you know exactly what I'm talking about....

Happy "let's begin the misinterpretation of the Declaration of Independence" Day!!!!!

How I spent my summer vacation....

Only have time for highlights:

Jim caught a huge shark!

Cory got stung by a man o war and we had to call 911 and the beach patrol came riding down the beach ala Baywatch! FYI: vinegar, shaving cream and a tongue depressor are high tech NC remedies....

Rhia caught 4 fish!

John caught a spanish mackeral and cooked it up and ate it.

Barry found the biggest shark's tooth we've ever seen (maybe from Jim's shark? hmmmm)

Flipper-Z has really good margaritas. And food. And ambience.

Emerald Isle is beautiful and sometimes the water really is emerald colored.

My doctor will call in a prescription out of state without an appointment if you are in pain with a stupid back.

The Backus's and Ruhl's are wonderful people.

We had a great time.