Sometimes I feel as if I am just circling the same things over and over. I don't think it's an accident that a mulberry bush popped up in my front yard without me planting it. True story. Big ole mulberry bush. When my daughter is home or my husband is in a good mood, sometimes I can convince them to go round it with me. But only once or twice. And you better believe there's no way my son will go round the mulberry bush with me... he's way too cool for that.
The mulberry bush flowered this year, creating big ole mulberries for the birds who really weren't interested and then promptly dropped all of it's leaves like it was done. I can certainly relate.
It's been a year since I decided to really have a go at changing my "please don't pay me" business to a "I honor myself and my gifts so go ahead and pay me" thriving self employment. If you had any idea of the obstacles that have been placed in my path in the last year you would probably think I was insane to have lasted the year. Or maybe masochistic. Every time I worked one problem out, something else crept up. Locations, personalities, bats, overscheduling, excuses, finances, issues, issues, issues with so many oh lordy don't even go there....round and round and round the mulberry bush. All the while trying to deliver quality, spiritual, happy moments.... One week with a dozen, the next with none. And don't get me wrong, the completely in my element, all is right with the world moments that carried me through the next 15 boomerangs.
The real thing that has carried me through all of it was a deep inner belief that this is what I was meant to do.
The thing that has occurred to me lately is that why would so many obstacles be placed in my path if this was what I was meant to do?
The second thought is then what? And where? And how? And most of all, why?
Why is it when I am teaching yoga, holding a restorative day, doing reiki, playing with soulcollage, doing a reading or listening to a friend that I feel completely present and alive and blessed? Why is it that so many have said how much they LOVE it only to not return? What is the missing piece? Or Who? Or What?
I think I'm gonna stop going round the mulberry bush. I might just sit there for a spell. Let the berries drop on my head and see if they can put some sense into me. Maybe I'll start going loop de loo instead....
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