Interesting

I am reading a really interesting book right now by Caroline Myss called "Entering the Castle". It is based on the 7 spiritual practices set forth from St. Teresa of Avila in her writings "The Interior Castle". There is a retreat day coming up at Bon Secours on this very subject that I am thinking of attending so the more I know, the more comfortable I will feel.

One of the things that really struck me was her term experiential God. I don't think I have heard it before. As I understand it, it is the difference between actually experiencing the God within as opposed to intellectually understanding the God experience. Sort of the difference between feeling and thinking. You can read the scriptures and intellectually 'get' the concept of Jesus saying, "Feed my sheep" and understand that means we should take care of those less fortunate. But an experiential feeling would be to feel that your hands become Jesus's hands because He dwells inside you.

St. Teresa put it best in her poem:

You are Christ's Hands

God has no body now on earth but yours,
no hands but yours
no feet but yours,
Yours are the eyes through which he is to look out
God's compassion to the world;
Yours are the feet with which he is to go about
doing good,
Yours are the hands with which he is to bless men now.

Wow. Many times when I am healing, I feel like God/Christ/Spirit's hands are on mine, coming through me to heal my person. Or when I am teaching, it's like there are hands on my shoulders, gently nudging me to do the pose that will be just right for someone in the class in need.

It struck me while reading the lead up to the poem that the difference between the church in Oregon and what I am used to is the Experiential God. You could feel God in the room--instead of intellectualizing Him and trying to understand and appease Him with your repentance, you called upon Him to fill you with His spirit. This is quite a mystical experience, and many are not ready or willing to have that type of experience. You should never ask for something you cannot deal with. And then it hit me:

All this fussing and fighting over church services and times and styles of worship and sadness and madness and gladness all boils down to this one thing. Those who want an Experiential God and those who don't. Neither is "right". But I do think some of it is fear...and control...and the loss of control. We are afraid of what we will be called to if we listen and we are afraid of who we will become if we give it all over to Spirit. For many, we have a clear road map to Heaven...do good deeds, study your bible, go to church, believe in Jesus and you're in. Don't question your faith, just accept that you aren't meant to know everything.

It's comforting to have a path. It's really uncomfortable to fly by the seat of your pants. Giving over to the mystic is scary. It takes courage and like Caroline Myss says, it takes stamina. She uses the story of Job as an example. Here's a good God fearing man who followed his road map perfectly and got slammed over and over until finally he gave up on God. And God showed him the mystic. He didn't want to see it. But he did. "God's message in the story of Job is that heaven has a design and plan far greater than what can be shown to any human being. Job's falling to his knees symbolizes the mystical act of surrender we all must make in order to trust God's plan for us within the vast scheme of creation. We all have to surrender our need for our world to be ordered according to our conceptions of justice, logic, and rational motives.....you have very little authority over your life and that even making it alive until sundown is not in your hands--you must reach the stage of spiritual maturity where you surrender to God."

I mean, really, how scary is that? So naturally we try and stick to the tried and true. What works. What feels right. What isn't 'out of the box'. Ritual is comforting.

Rev. Heather said that Presbyterians do not play the "Hail Jesus Amen!!" game like other religions because it's not good to fly too high, to get too excited and up because the crash down is so jarring. They keep it down, dignified, frozen, because the middle is better for them to know their God. I always found that interesting. I also for a long time thought something was wrong with me because I disagree. I believe God wants us to fly high, to feel the joy, to experience the world He created for us. The crash is gonna be jarring regardless. As Joy Lewis (C.S.'s wife) said, "the pain then is part of the joy now". We are made to live at both ends of the spectrum, in my opinion.

What I have learned however, is that neither sides are right or wrong and even that there are no sides. It's what you individually are ready for. Or not. And bottom line is....no church is gonna give you everything you need. You have to go to the river yourself.....

Although compromise is a nice thing.