Thanksgiving

Did you know Thanksgiving is only a week away? Why didn't anyone tell me? I can't believe it. I walked into the Sanctuary last night and the communion table was covered with turkey stuff, candles and flowers and I thought, "what the heck is wrong with these people? why are they decorating so early?" And then THUD. It hits me. It's NEXT WEEK. So then I thought, "what the heck is wrong with me? and where the heck did November go? And for that matter, September?" Sometimes I'm a silly goose.

I am so excited. People are signing up for our SoulCollage Retreat December 1st! People we don't know! Off the website!!! Yay!!! and Phew! Maybe we will be okay! I love SoulCollage. Have I mentioned that? I mean, seriously, it is just such a neat, relaxing thing to do. For those that can't make it to yoga or Reiki it can be a really fun, spiritual thing to do and I was starting to get very worried that no one was gonna do it. I really sort of wanted to throw my eggs in this basket, you know? So when it was seeming a bit dismal, I was not sure where I was gonna throw my eggs.....maybe at houses....or..? Again, sometimes I'm a silly goose. With extra eggs.

Here's my latest card:

I don't know. It started as a "I'm going to try and not hate money anymore thing" and kept evolving. The people look happy and wealthy. Or is it obsessed? I thought maybe the cards indicated luck? And the monkeys? Maybe something about the monkey mind worrying about the lack of money. I really am not sure. I can guarantee I will find out though. The card will come up in a reading and then I'll get it.


I know that one of the biggest things I had to overcome was de-valuing myself. For a long time I didn't charge at all for yoga--just gave it away. I have negative feelings about money, don't want it or the lack of it to control me. I like giving. I purposely have always chosen non profit enterprises as if that will somehow make me better than the rich people with college educations. I have come to realize that it really just makes me more worried and yes...I'll admit it...envious. Barry & I have struggled for a long time, on and off. It's hard to start off adulthood without the benefits of a college education or financial backing. We've made some choices we are proud of, like putting the children first, making sure one of us was always there to take care of them and not day care but we also have a recurrent fear of losing everything we've worked for. We were doing fine and then recently have had some major setbacks and that tends to revive all the old fears and worries and resentments and our Ziggy/Charlie Brown syndrome. We are really trying to remember that the Universe is Abundant, we create our own reality and hating money will ensure that we never have any. It's a major opportunity to test our faith and see how far we've come...as we bite our nails. LOL!


This card seems to have all those opposing yin/yang things in it. "I am the One who wants to like money?" "I am the One who doesn't want the money monkey on my back."

I don't know. What do you think?

hmmm

Went to watch "7 car pile up" yesterday. They were amazing. Mario had a friend who he played with when he was a young boy who just happened to be there at the right time. They hadn't played together for 40 years but they got to sing a couple songs for the show. It was very nice. All the band rocked--singers were having fun, musicians were getting crazy (cept Susan, who I think was going crazy) it was a really fun time. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Rehearsals are going for our little show. Yesterday was fun trying to find a place to rehearse. We are muddling through though. Got some good news that maybe we may have sound! The kids are working so hard, I hope someone comes to see them. It's a crazy weekend. Wish we had known that when the dates were set but what are you gonna do? Every day is crazy at our venue.

Isn't it funny how things turn? One minute you're the cat's meow and the next you're the cat's litter box contents. In Zen, there's a card that's called Success. It has a person riding on a tiger's back with confetti and streamers all around. The message of the card is to not get attached to riding in the parade--things go up and things go down and it's just all part of the grand scheme of things. It's to learn to enjoy the down as much as the up. The down is where the next phase or idea comes from. It's a good message. The down is also a very freeing place, let's you see what you were missing while you were up.

Barry and I are taking a huge leap of faith right now. We are starting the process of renovating our garage and office into a large studio/comfy room. We are very excited and quite scared since financially this is not a great move for us right now. My income has dropped tremendously and his ot is gone due to the housing market slowdown and we have had so many twists and turns with broken things and dental crud and blady blady....So why are we doing it? We must. It's time. We have faith that it will all turn out okay. We may be crazy but we can see the beautiful space, feel the quietness and lack of conflict, sense that this is the right thing to do. It's been a long time coming....

Keep your fingers crossed and maybe send a prayer or two our way. Anyone know how to build a fireplace? Wouldn't it suck to get the room all done and then light the first fire and poof! it all goes up in flames? That would definitely be falling off the tiger's back for sure LOL!

Latest Card:

"Creativity"

I really like this card, I painted the mat with watercolors. After it dried, I cut the images smaller than the card and glued them on. You can't really tell from the picture but it looks really cool. The painting of the dog looks just like Gus, our family's best dog ever. The top picture of the open air festival reminded me of Oregon and all the artist I learned from at the Salem Farmer's Market.

This is what I need to focus on. A place to create, to explore and commune. It feels peaceful and right. Read "Women Who Run with Wolves"... that's this card.

"I am the One who has a inner space where the beauty of the world can be expressed. I am the One who knows the power of art. I am the One who can express myself creatively in many ways without needing to be perfect"

I am the One.

Had a post and decided to change it. No need for unnecessary drama I suppose.

Here's my real post for the day:

"Holding the World's Pain"

I am the One who feels the suffering and pain of the world.

I am the One who prays for the injustice.

I am the One who is jumping off the building.

I am the One who is apalled at the insensitivity and callousness of people.

I am the One who wants to take the whole world in my arms and tell it to be peaceful, to take care of itself and it's inhabitants. I am the One who wants a quieter, loving world.

I am the One who is crying out.

AHA Moments

One of the things that is really cool about SoulCollage are those AHA moments. At the facilitator training someone actually went around with a name tag that said "looking for AHA moments". I've had many, many, long before Oprah decided to coin the phrase. Yoga is really good at giving you that sudden breakthrough, you do the same pose a hundred times and then suddenly, one tiny muscle lets go and you see the Universe and all It's possibilities and all It's glory.

Course you have to really stick with yoga to get that and you have to understand it isn't all about the physical poses. I feel really sad for people who think you can dabble in things and get those AHA moments, they rarely come without some consistency and hard work. And unfortunately, when things get busy, often the first thing to go is the tools that help you to be productive, calm and happy and that give you those AHA moments. The next thing you know you're sitting on a couch deciding that a glass of wine and tv is your path to enlightenment. And it gets harder and harder to get off that couch. So sad.

Although having said that, let me tell you this: I don't know if it's because of all the soul work I've already done with yoga and all my various studies BUT I have had more AHA moments with SoulCollage in a relatively short time than I have with anything else. Now, it could be I'm just open to it. I have a student/friend/coach that is experiencing the same phenomenon. She's a Gestalt psychotherapist so she may have a leg up too but she's very blown away at the possibilities and the rapidness of the AHA's too. The onion is peeling rapidly....

I've made enough cards now that I could cover the backs and actually separate them into the 4 suits; Committee, Community, Companion & Council. They are beautiful. I like to just look at them. I did a reading the other day with the suits for the first time. Wow. I had one card that I made that I just really had no idea what it was about. Of course it was the first card to come up. When you do a reading the first thing you do is ask a question. My question was concerning my son. The card to come up was the one where the boy is catching the ball while the older one is watching with glee, hands covering her mouth.

AHA!

It is very cool when you just allow the process to go through you without asking why. Sometimes images come together and it makes no immediate sense. And then down the road the card pops into a reading or even just into your head....and it's just like with all insights...you knew it all along. Like the Buddha says, "ten thousand doors open and you can see in all directions and you realize you always could, it is older than you." Enlightenment. If only for a moment. That "knowing" is a powerful soul-finder. And an even more powerful God finder. And it really helps when you are making decisions if you can come from that "knowing" God point inside of you and not some exhausted crisis mode outside of you.

Takes some practice though. And consistency. And being comfortable with "knowing". And honoring what your real path and journey through life is.....and most of all, quietness. Mindfullness instead of Mindlessness....

Peace be with you. Really with you.

Giver of All Good Gifts