Money and Yoga

One of my primary goals as a yoga teacher is to make yoga affordable for everyone.  I have resisted buying into a big franchise... or a big studio.. or even a small potatoes studio for this reason.  The studio we have now is perfect for our burgeoning business, not so expensive that we have to raise our very low prices but big enough to accommodate a growing clientele.  A win/win. For years I have maintained the philosophy that when people could pay they would, and when they couldn't, I would still encourage them to come... figuring it would all end up even anyways.

So, imagine my shock over my long time students boycotting my studio... over money.  I taught at a gym for many, many years.  Had my regulars who came to class twice a week for years.  They oooed and ahhhhed over how great of a teacher I am, hugging me, buying me gifts, telling me that I really made a difference in their lives, "they couldn't survive without me".  I struggled for years at this gym, through management changes, bad energy, noisy classes, even teaching in a cold hallway at one point so these people would have what they said they couldn't live without.  Many, many times I wanted to go, felt like I would be better off not having to drag myself into that cruddy environment, only to think of their pleading faces and decide there was no way I could leave them.

When we got the new studio, I felt torn.  On the one hand I felt an obligation to the new business and to my new partner... but I also felt an obligation to my old students.  Coming up with a plan to give those old students a deal they couldn't refuse... sadly, with many tears, I left the gym.  I felt like there were some that couldn't afford to pay more than they were, so I pulled them aside and told them not to worry about paying... to pay what they could, just like I've told the students at CCPC for years. Gave the ones who I knew drove Lexus and BMW's coupons for their first session... made sure they knew where I was and scheduled 2 new classes to try and accommodate them.

No one showed. Not one of them. Not the rich, not the poor. Hmmm. So, there were too conclusions I could draw:

1.  I suck as a teacher.
2.  They didn't want to spend their money on me, when they could buy the cow for free.

Sort of. But the bottom line is they were paying $19 a month to see me 2 times a week. As low as my prices are... esp. for them... they are not that low.  Like, I have rent. And Utilities. And well, this IS my day job. And night job.  Don't most people get paid for what they do?

So. Having enough self esteem to know that #1 is crazy (and enough students willing to pay whatever I charge to spend some time with me) I have to conclude that #2 is the answer.  Intellectually, I get that.  Emotionally... wow. Really? What does that say?  And how sad.

I feel a little stupid that I believed that it was about me.  I guess it's never too late to re-learn the everyone is replaceable rule. I know they loved my teaching... but, not enough to really pay for it in this economy. So sad after all these years.  I keep trying to process it but I can't lie and say I'm not upset about it.  It makes me feel like I'm not all that... but I know deep down that it's not really about me. And it's not personal. Even if I thought it was.

As the Beatles said,  Money can't buy you love... right?