Maundy Thursday

When I first started going to church regularly, I felt very clueless and out of place. When they said the kids were going to Montreat (a youth conference in North Carolina) I thought they mis-spelled it and were actually going to Montreal. Lots of things like that. And this Maundy Thursday thing just stymied me.

Maundy? What is Maundy? Did they mis-spell Monday? I'm really sorry to say I still don't have a firm grasp on what it is. I know what they do at the church though. A wonderful woman and her team of volunteers set up stations representing all the different stages of Jesus' life.

The first time I went to Maundy Thursday services was when the church had an interim pastor named Heather. Heather is a remarkable woman with a flair for the dramatic. I loved and still love her. (regardless of what anyone says) She created a hushed, introspective enviroment where you could really soak in what was going on, what had happened and what was going to happen. Very little noise, quiet monk chanting, every now and then she would come up to the mic and read scripture in a soft gentle voice. It was and is the most powerful service I have ever been to. My whole family came and we stayed and we prayed and we felt. There was just a handful of us there most of the time. Since then, we have gone to every one and still, most times there's only a few of us there for any length of time. Same for her Taize' services. I appreciate her efforts, she dealt with strong opposition and still kept trying....

It isn't really a quiet introspective time any more except for after the service. Our church seems very uncomfortable with silence. The regular worship services are very busy with activity and tradition, they run like a well oiled train, same thing each week in the same order with the same people mostly. Our spirit group has sponsored many an event, put in many hours planning and executing but other than a few smattering of people here and there we are not very popular. Our Lenten contemplative activities only had a few people every week even though there were many already in the church for dinners, they were not interested in exploring any other spiritual activities. My spiritual sisters and I just continue to provide the opportunities, gently reminding each other that we are just casting our seeds to the wind, we needn't worry about where they land.

The current pastor says that only 7% of the church population in a Protestant church are interested in "spiritual" activities.

It is very hard to keep perspective at a church where you feel so weird and out of place. There is nothing wrong with the church, 93% of the people there find real meaning in the services, I think they are wonderful. The problem is being part of that 7%. I have a really hard time sitting through worship. One of the wives of one of the long standing elders of the church said to me once that she couldn't come to church cause the energy was just too frenetic to her. She hit the nail on the head.

I really like the current pastor, I really love the people in the church. They are my family. They gently tease me about not attending worship regularly. Even though I am a member and I put in countless hours volunteering, I understand that the hour on Sunday is very important. I know I need to bite the bullet and go, just look at the flowers like my buddies tell me they do but it just feels like it brings out the worst in me.

I know I just don't get it. I need to try harder.

Maundy Thursday was the day of the Last Supper।

The word "Maundy" comes from the Latin for 'command' (mandatum). It refers to the command given by Jesus at the Last Supper, that his disciples should love one another.