I don't really have time to blog today. Of course, I didn't yesterday either. But my head feels clearer, I feel like I am back in me mode. It's funny, I have done the 3 pages a day from the Artist Way on and off for years... but I find that it evolves into a to do list, or worse, ends up being the same old whiny crap year after year. Life doesn't usually change that much year to year if you look at it by the day. It's when you look back 5 years or so that you realize, "holy moly, who saw that coming?"
I went to a crystal bowl soundscape Friday night. I am trying to do stuff that I would have done before I started doing it primarily for work. It's important to remember how to be experiencing instead of giving the experience. For example, it was interesting to watch other people doing my job, leading a group. I'm usually really hard on myself about not being organized enough, or not being clear enough or people not liking me. (sheesh, does that EVER go away?) It was great to see that even though these teachers were not exactly overly organized or great speakers, in fact, at one point Barry & I were sending calm Reiki to one of them, everyone, including me, had a really great experience. Something to tuck away in the back of my mind when I start beating myself up. Like I wish I had tucked away the grammar rules for the use of commas and semi colons....
Anyway, this meditation was really interesting. We were in this little room-- not even as big as our studio-- and the teacher had 7 big, beautiful crystal bowls. (I'm not gonna lie, I was coveting those bowls) She began to play them and the sound was immense. Like, I felt it was reverberating around my head... at one point, I started to think that I wasn't going to be able to take that noise for a whole hour, I may have to start screaming and run out of the room. But then, this beautiful angel started singing. She had the clearest, purest voice I've ever heard. She was singing ancient chants and hymns, it was gorgeous. I felt someone place a large crystal on my solar chakra and the warmth of the crystal combined with the warmth of her voice and I became mesmerized. My body felt so heavy I couldn't move. Just kept sinking deeper and deeper into the earth. To the point that it almost became uncomfortable. Almost.
The Reiki Master, who was Karuna like me (a different branch of Reiki) started coming around giving Reiki. One of the reasons I went was to get Karuna reiki, I've given it but never received it. He started at my feet, and I was a bit surprised because his hands were cold. No worries, I know Reiki isn't always passed through warm hands. I didn't feel much energy from him but I think it's cause I was trapped in an ego mind instead of just experiencing. By the time he got to my head, his hands were warmer, I kept wondering whether he could sense that I was Karuna too... again, ego mind. Ugh. It was pleasant for sure, but I was feeling more energy from the crystal on my belly. All the while the noise is tremendous with the bowls and the singing, it was a really wild experience.
And then suddenly, it was quiet. The teacher played a small Tibetan bowl on either side of each of our ears... and then silence. She came around with a rain stick... after all the noise, it was so beautiful. After a few more minutes of absolute silence, she starts to bring us back.... asking us to roll over when we are ready. I sort of panic a bit because I don't know whether to grab the crystal off my belly first or wait for them to get it but when it became obvious they weren't going to, I slowly roll over. Yep. No crystal. No where. Never was. Interesting...
I've always had a solar chakra imbalance. Whenever I received Reiki from my teacher, that was where I felt it most, regardless of where her hands were. I thought I had worked that out. Apparently not.
Anyways, it was a great experience for a multitude of reasons. I spoke with the folks after and will be bringing them to my studio, I think our people will love it.
Whoops, look at the time! Gotta go!
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