Turning a Corner

I have been praying big time lately. Feeling like I'm ready to move on to the next chapter of my life. Feel like we had gotten stuck. Were in limbo. Being without a job is a really scary thing. Especially when you are the main bread winner. Especially when your job is dependent on a main bread winner. For the last year and a half/two years we have been living with pay cuts, lay offs and finally unemployment. Being self employed, trying to not spend a penny on advertising or supplies, never knowing if at any point I may have to seek regular normal employment has been quite a challenge. My prayer has been to end this chapter. Whether it be with a definitive answer whether I need to stop teaching and healing or with B getting a job that puts him where he was before all this crazy-ness started.

It's a really bizarre feeling to not know what's coming next. I mean, we never REALLY know what's next but we like to think we do. On the day when B got a terrific job offer, one of our dearest friends found out her father was very, very sick. At church today, one of our members lost their husband unexpectedly, quite shocking. Another member was there who has valiantly been fighting cancer for years, she looked so fragile, my heart broke. How do you make sense of it all? We feel weird being happy.

It seems so topsy turvy. We have been so used to worry that it feels very strange to suddenly be able to go grocery shopping and get a ton of food. The cupboards are full for the first time in a very long time. I am excited about continuing my career, actually sat down and PLANNED the next couple of months... haven't done that for awhile, never knowing if I'd be able to follow through. What a gift.

I wonder if my church family friends ever dreamed they'd be doing what they are doing tonight... I'm sure if wasn't in their plans. My heart goes out to them. You just never really know.

I do know one thing. God is good. We can't possibly compare what we were going through with what they are going through, ours is small peanuts. However, we have learn that this too shall pass. The ups, the downs, they come and go. We learn from them all. Even if it takes years. Whether it was in our plans or not.

Peace and Love to my suffering friends, all my prayers are for you now.