Should's & Ought's

Anytime I make myself do something I don't want to do it's because of those daggone shoulds & oughts. They follow me around, threatening me and making me feel bad. You should call your mother, you should clean your house, you ought to feel bad about that, you ought to be more compassionate towards that person that just let you down, you should feel happier, you should be grateful, you ought to do the "right" thing even if it makes you feel horrible....

Ugh. Wants and Needs are so much more subtle. They whisper. You want to sit by your waterfall. You need to rest. You need some time alone. You want solitude and quiet and meaningful interactions.

Shoulds & Oughts cousin, Haveta, is even more insistent than the others. You haveta clean that toilet, you haveta go to church, you haveta be nice when you don't feel it.....course, since haveta is so insistent I tend to find it easier to rebel.....I don't like Haveta at all. And I don't have to.

I really believe much of the insanity we inflict on ourselves is because we go around blindly following the instructions of Shoulds and Oughts and try to deny the existence of Wants and Needs. So we end up angry all the time without really understanding what the deal is. Like I tell Cory, "you're just a Rebel without a Clue". Trouble is, we begin misplacing all that anger, directing it at people who are safe because they will still love us, even thought we Ought to be honest with the originators of the anger, sometimes they are just lost causes.

And then sometimes we wake up and realize who's really driving the ship. And we start listening for that subtle whisper and following it's advice, and living our lives according to our wants & needs. And life becomes beautiful, fulfilling, we accomplish things we never dreamed of.

And it becomes much, much harder to make yourself listen to those other characters. And even more difficult to follow their instructions. And even worse after you do. Makes you feel slimy and like you need to spit. And a bit creepy crawly.

But you really should ___________________________. So I did. Whatever.

I really want to sit by my waterfall and watch the birds. Saw a scarlet tanager Saturday!!!! For real! And all kinds of warblers.....

Listen to your whisper.......