Well, it's here. Christmas Eve. We just got done wrapping the presents. It's been a busy, busy day... sort of like the whole year. We're getting ready to go to church because *gasp* Cory & Rhia are lighting the advent candles. Yes, you read that right, Cory. I don't believe Cory has set foot in church for at least 5 years. But this means the world to his sister so he's going to do it. We were asked to light the candles the first year we officially joined the church. They wanted us to light them Christmas Eve. Unfortunately, they wanted us to light them there... and not in California, which is where we were. Ugh, we were devastated. We had gotten baptised together, all four of us, at the beginning of that December. It would have been lovely to also light the candles but it was also lovely that someone else had the honor that year.
Trouble is, they never asked again. Until this year. The Youth Director sent an email to Rhia asking for her and Cory. Cory. Oh dear. Now it's not that Cory isn't a believer, quite the contrary. He has a natural faith that is remarkable. Unfortunately, it's not in church or Christianity. He really turned against organized religion a few years ago due to a succession of what he considered hypocritical Christians... don't get him started. It's sad because although I have trouble with organized religion and/or the church, I love for our family to go to church together. Especially at Christmas.
Long before we officially joined the church, we would bundle up our little sweethearts and take them to church Christmas Eve to get a piece of Jesus' birthday cake. I would love to hear them sing the Christmas carols, they knew every word. We had taught them about Jesus, God... and Buddha, Karma, Taoism... we wanted them to decide what they believed. And so they did. But as I tell my wonderful son over and over, I never expected him to throw the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak. In other words, you cannot judge Jesus by Christian's actions. Unfortunately, the reflection is not always accurate. We are human.
But tonight he will come to church. And he will light the candles. And he will make his family very, very happy.
It's a lovely Christmas eve. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Wanting...
You ever really want something so much that you are afraid to want it? Law of attraction folks would have a heyday with that.
Feel like laying my burdens down and resting my cares and singing an old African spiritual.
I never cease to be amazed at the twists and turns and full circles of my life. What fun it is to be a witness. Not so much being the star of the show. Ugh.
Sometimes I forget who I am. And then I remember.
Thank God for deep breath.
I don't know about you but I am not thrilled with this cold weather. Stupid story: Yesterday Barry & I decided we hadn't gone up to our meditation shack since my operation. We got the grand idea that we should put plastic over the screens to keep the wind out and in our morning Christmas shopping, picked up a small heater. (He put Christmas Lights on the silly thing so there's forbidden electric up there so I figure we may as well use it for something useful... OH SNAP!) Anyways, so we're fighting with the plastic cause it's windy and cold and the adhesive won't stick. We're grumpy cause we've been working REALLY hard lately and have had no time to just chill (literally in this case) So we're sort of getting agitated but we perservere and get the plastic up, turn the heater on and sit.
Nothing. Freezing. We forgot that the floor is a deck. Ugh. We need to carpet. Suddenly it dawns on us how ridiculous this is. We are looking down at our warm, cozy new windowed house. On the way to the warm, cozy new windowed house is a freaking HOT tub. What the heck is wrong with us?
Yesterday turned out to be a really good day. Once we put our brains back in our heads.
Lordy.
Feel like laying my burdens down and resting my cares and singing an old African spiritual.
I never cease to be amazed at the twists and turns and full circles of my life. What fun it is to be a witness. Not so much being the star of the show. Ugh.
Sometimes I forget who I am. And then I remember.
Thank God for deep breath.
I don't know about you but I am not thrilled with this cold weather. Stupid story: Yesterday Barry & I decided we hadn't gone up to our meditation shack since my operation. We got the grand idea that we should put plastic over the screens to keep the wind out and in our morning Christmas shopping, picked up a small heater. (He put Christmas Lights on the silly thing so there's forbidden electric up there so I figure we may as well use it for something useful... OH SNAP!) Anyways, so we're fighting with the plastic cause it's windy and cold and the adhesive won't stick. We're grumpy cause we've been working REALLY hard lately and have had no time to just chill (literally in this case) So we're sort of getting agitated but we perservere and get the plastic up, turn the heater on and sit.
Nothing. Freezing. We forgot that the floor is a deck. Ugh. We need to carpet. Suddenly it dawns on us how ridiculous this is. We are looking down at our warm, cozy new windowed house. On the way to the warm, cozy new windowed house is a freaking HOT tub. What the heck is wrong with us?
Yesterday turned out to be a really good day. Once we put our brains back in our heads.
Lordy.
Friday, December 10, 2010
I'm Baaaaaack...
Whew. After a large hiatus, I can now blog again. I had business stuff to attend to, which made me unable to blog honestly... and if I can't say what I want without censoring, it's just too damn hard to let it flow. But the grand announcement has been made, I have an "official" business blog now and I can get back to this personal blog.. just letting it all hang out, warts and all.
Where would I even start? I'm totally exhausted. I'm feeling a bit rebellious. I'm agitated. But it's all good. I think. Just Christmas time in the city... ring a ling...
Anyways, I will be moving my business posts to my new combined business blog of which I will insert a link to here or you can just look to your right and see the link. It's Imagine Yoga & Wellness. This blog will contain my ramblings that may or may not be uplifting.. sort of like an accident scene.. you may move along, nothing to see here... unless you appreciate the wild ravings of a lunatic mind.
Wishing you glad tidings of comfort and joy. For real.
Where would I even start? I'm totally exhausted. I'm feeling a bit rebellious. I'm agitated. But it's all good. I think. Just Christmas time in the city... ring a ling...
Anyways, I will be moving my business posts to my new combined business blog of which I will insert a link to here or you can just look to your right and see the link. It's Imagine Yoga & Wellness. This blog will contain my ramblings that may or may not be uplifting.. sort of like an accident scene.. you may move along, nothing to see here... unless you appreciate the wild ravings of a lunatic mind.
Wishing you glad tidings of comfort and joy. For real.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Restorative Yoga
Years ago I started learning restorative yoga. I was fascinated by the mechanics of it, how many different ways could you fold a blanket and drape yourself over it? I went to some great classes with some really great teachers, I got books and studied, I bought dvd's and practiced. I loved the idea of bringing this to people, planned all day retreats with the main event being restorative yoga.
As I continued to explore this unique style of yoga, I started experimenting with cushions, cutting up an old couch into large triangles. I bought pillow forms and sewed them into rolls. I started making eye pillows with the herbs from my garden, all to create this amazing restorative yoga for others to enjoy.
Personally, it wasn't my thing. I was way too much of an over achiever to spend an hour just laying around on a bunch of pillows. I liked good, old, sweaty "power" yoga. I liked strength; handstands, chatuarunga, crow, I loved balance; half moon, brave warrior, the longer I could hold it, the better. Restorative Yoga was something I could give to others, not something I would "waste" time doing. Sigh.
Today was the last class of a six week restorative session. Usually I would have all day retreats a few times a year, but over the summer I was asked to have a shorter, more frequent class so as an experiment, I hosted a once a month 2 hour class. That was so popular that I decided to hold a every week session for 6 weeks to see if anyone was interested. Much to my surprise, it sold out! Now what was I gonna do? How was I going to keep it interesting 6 weeks in a row? I mean, seriously, how many ways can you drape yourself over cushions?
I learned so much. I learned that it wasn't about how many ways... it was about relaxation. Pure and simple. The best class was one where we only did 6 poses. For 15 minutes each. It was amazing. I joined them. I would quietly explain how to arrange the cushions, we would lay back and breathe. That's all. I didn't try to do alot of guided meditations, I didn't sit looking at them, worrying whether they were okay, I laid back and breathed. I found out that restorative yoga was my "thing". In preparing each week, I found myself attaining deeper and deeper meditative states. I discovered yoga nidra-- a sort of sleep while being completely alert. I have meditated for years. I have done yoga for years. I've done tai chi, chi gong, biospiritual focusing... you name it, I've done it.
This has been a very stressful 6 weeks of my life. I have been more relaxed through it than I would have thought possible. I've breathed deeper, I've let go of deep stress and strain, I've seen amazing things in my meditations. I'm so grateful that my beautiful friends and students gave me this opportunity. We'll do it again real soon!
As I continued to explore this unique style of yoga, I started experimenting with cushions, cutting up an old couch into large triangles. I bought pillow forms and sewed them into rolls. I started making eye pillows with the herbs from my garden, all to create this amazing restorative yoga for others to enjoy.
Personally, it wasn't my thing. I was way too much of an over achiever to spend an hour just laying around on a bunch of pillows. I liked good, old, sweaty "power" yoga. I liked strength; handstands, chatuarunga, crow, I loved balance; half moon, brave warrior, the longer I could hold it, the better. Restorative Yoga was something I could give to others, not something I would "waste" time doing. Sigh.
Today was the last class of a six week restorative session. Usually I would have all day retreats a few times a year, but over the summer I was asked to have a shorter, more frequent class so as an experiment, I hosted a once a month 2 hour class. That was so popular that I decided to hold a every week session for 6 weeks to see if anyone was interested. Much to my surprise, it sold out! Now what was I gonna do? How was I going to keep it interesting 6 weeks in a row? I mean, seriously, how many ways can you drape yourself over cushions?
I learned so much. I learned that it wasn't about how many ways... it was about relaxation. Pure and simple. The best class was one where we only did 6 poses. For 15 minutes each. It was amazing. I joined them. I would quietly explain how to arrange the cushions, we would lay back and breathe. That's all. I didn't try to do alot of guided meditations, I didn't sit looking at them, worrying whether they were okay, I laid back and breathed. I found out that restorative yoga was my "thing". In preparing each week, I found myself attaining deeper and deeper meditative states. I discovered yoga nidra-- a sort of sleep while being completely alert. I have meditated for years. I have done yoga for years. I've done tai chi, chi gong, biospiritual focusing... you name it, I've done it.
This has been a very stressful 6 weeks of my life. I have been more relaxed through it than I would have thought possible. I've breathed deeper, I've let go of deep stress and strain, I've seen amazing things in my meditations. I'm so grateful that my beautiful friends and students gave me this opportunity. We'll do it again real soon!
Monday, November 08, 2010
I can see clearly now...
We've been putting new windows in our house. Our old windows are/were 49 years old. Our house was born the same year as I. We are both getting ready to celebrate a half century... gulp. The windows are making us feel like we are living in a new house. We are looking at our yard, the sky, the trees, the world with fresh eyes, seeing clearly for the first time in many, many years. For the last 10 years, we had pretty much given up on attempting to keep our old windows clean & painted, you can only scrape, wash and re-caulk so much... alot of the windows were broken, replaced with cardboard or plastic.. the excuse was that we were going to get new windows... eventually.
It's stunning to see the difference. It's amazing to feel the difference. What's really freaking us out though is hearing the difference. We can look outside and see the wind but we can no longer hear it. It's quite disconcerting, it's so quiet in here. I'm not sure I like it. I can't hear the traffic or the children playing. We haven't put them in the upstairs rooms yet so it's so weird going up and hearing the outdoors and coming down and hearing the indoors, which is fairly silent. Weird.
So much of life is spent doing the same things over and over. Living in the same place, listening to the same sounds, breathing the same air. Every now and then something comes along to shake us out of our usual and then suddenly everything seems unusual. And you look around and realize things are COMPLETELY different. When did THAT happen? In the last 5 years my life has once again radically changed. And somehow remained the same.
I wonder what I will replace in my personal 50 year old "house" that will make everything seem fresh and new? Where could I put new windows? On my friends? my family? my career? Hmmm, sometimes the choices are made for us, I guess.. although we put the wheels in motion. Sometimes we have to look at relationships through new windows and realize that maybe they aren't the best for us, maybe they never were but we kept refusing to clean them out, letting them get dirtier and patched until maybe the only thing to do is to replace them. Sad. But sometimes necessary. Same with careers... structures... and even family... things change.. we have to change with them or run the risk of letting them breakdown all together.
But with each change comes a bit of regret... I do miss the sound of the wind. But I can still faintly hear the wind chimes. :-) And I LOVE the sunshine!
Namaste'
It's stunning to see the difference. It's amazing to feel the difference. What's really freaking us out though is hearing the difference. We can look outside and see the wind but we can no longer hear it. It's quite disconcerting, it's so quiet in here. I'm not sure I like it. I can't hear the traffic or the children playing. We haven't put them in the upstairs rooms yet so it's so weird going up and hearing the outdoors and coming down and hearing the indoors, which is fairly silent. Weird.
So much of life is spent doing the same things over and over. Living in the same place, listening to the same sounds, breathing the same air. Every now and then something comes along to shake us out of our usual and then suddenly everything seems unusual. And you look around and realize things are COMPLETELY different. When did THAT happen? In the last 5 years my life has once again radically changed. And somehow remained the same.
I wonder what I will replace in my personal 50 year old "house" that will make everything seem fresh and new? Where could I put new windows? On my friends? my family? my career? Hmmm, sometimes the choices are made for us, I guess.. although we put the wheels in motion. Sometimes we have to look at relationships through new windows and realize that maybe they aren't the best for us, maybe they never were but we kept refusing to clean them out, letting them get dirtier and patched until maybe the only thing to do is to replace them. Sad. But sometimes necessary. Same with careers... structures... and even family... things change.. we have to change with them or run the risk of letting them breakdown all together.
But with each change comes a bit of regret... I do miss the sound of the wind. But I can still faintly hear the wind chimes. :-) And I LOVE the sunshine!
Namaste'
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)