Wanting...

You ever really want something so much that you are afraid to want it?  Law of attraction folks would have a heyday with that.

Feel like laying my burdens down and resting my cares and singing an old African spiritual.

I never cease to be amazed at the twists and turns and full circles of my life.  What fun it is to be a witness.  Not so much being the star of the show. Ugh.

Sometimes I forget who I am.  And then I remember.

Thank God for deep breath.

I don't know about you but I am not thrilled with this cold weather.  Stupid story:  Yesterday Barry & I decided we hadn't gone up to our meditation shack since my operation.  We got the grand idea that we should put plastic over the screens to keep the wind out and in our morning Christmas shopping, picked up a small heater. (He put Christmas Lights on the silly thing so there's forbidden electric up there so I figure we may as well use it for something useful... OH SNAP!)  Anyways, so we're fighting with the plastic cause it's windy and cold and the adhesive won't stick.  We're grumpy cause we've been working REALLY hard lately and have had no time to just chill (literally in this case)  So we're sort of getting agitated but we perservere and get the plastic up, turn the heater on and sit.

Nothing.  Freezing.  We forgot that the floor is a deck. Ugh. We need to carpet.  Suddenly it dawns on us how ridiculous this is.  We are looking down at our warm, cozy new windowed house.  On the way to the warm, cozy new windowed house is a freaking HOT tub.  What the heck is wrong with us?

Yesterday turned out to be a really good day.  Once we put our brains back in our heads.

Lordy.