Metal

Just when you think it's safe to go outside... fall arrives. Ugh. That metal taste in your mouth. The dry, itchiness of your skin. Metal. That's Fall.
But other than that.
I love when the weather starts to turn crisp. I love snuggling under the covers.
I don't love when the grapevine and birdhouse gourds get brown and crunchy.
I love the anticipation of the holidays.
I don't actually love the holidays.
Mmmm, but I do love the water of winter.
But not when it turns to that black slushy stuff on the side of the road. Yuck.
I love the wind blowing and the leaves swirling and the joy of the children as they try and catch the leaves twisting and turning over the playground. In fact, it's about the only time I really miss being at the therapeutic nursery.
That and when I think of Jenny. And G.... I can't believe the name escapes me, I can see his face so clearly.... Dangit. Age.
I love the idea of the first fire after summer. I hope the wood dries out soon. I could sit all day watching, breathing, listening. Wanna join me?
What is that child's name? I have a picture of him on my refrigerator.
I love cutting all the beauty gone ugly down.
I love anticipating the new sprouts.
I hate the thought of not having dirt on my hands for months.
Oooo and the lovely smell of earth. I hate not breathing it in for months.
Rats. I'll let you know what the child's name is, I miss him so.

Balance

I always tell my yoga students to resist the impulse to judge themselves harshly in a pose because we all have different gifts. Some have great hips and find hip openers easy, to others (like myself) they are difficult and require true yoga focus and awareness to breathe into softening. Other's have great hamstrings and bend themselves in half at the drop of a dime. Still others have limber spines and have no trouble with backbends. Some of it is how you are built, some of it is from aware practicing but we all have things that come easier to us than others.

My gift is balance. Or should I say focus since they go hand in hand...I joke with my students sometimes when they are frustrated with balancing and glare at me just standing there on one leg, "I have the reverse of ADD, instead of my attention being distracted easily, I have a hard time dragging my focus away once it's there. I have OAD-- Overly Attentive Disorder" If you've ever been in one of my classes when someone has barged in disrupting the class, you will see how difficult it is for me to be bumped out of my zone and then have to get back in. Usually takes at least 2 breaths. Ha ha...it's just practice.

One of the things that balance has taught me, besides the fact that it requires focus first and foremost, it that you have to understand your center. It's a great metaphor for life. Once you "get" that you will be swayed in all directions but as long as you return to the center you will not be knocked off your roots. Going too far to the right or to the left will just topple you over. (Great lesson for politics, huh?)

Wind (thought) comes by, sway with it, return to center. Don't try and resist it... that will just break you in half. Watch a tree, the breeze comes, they sway, the breeze goes, they stand tall.

Think about the things in your life that you obsess about. Obsessing about anything is taking you too far from the center. Allow the thought, and allow it to keep going. Can't do it, you say? Then maybe you don't know where your center is.

Finding the center is central to balance.

What gives you roots?
What allows you to grow?
Where is your structure?
What feeds your soul?

There's your center. Also known as Source. It's the life force inside of you, it's what's really important, not just distraction. So many people fritter their lives away focusing on distractions without ever once feeling that magnificent Source of power that lives right inside of them. It makes me sad.

Every class I teach has balance as a large part of it. You can tell so much about people by how they approach balancing. Some give up immediately, just walk on over to let something else hold them up. Other's dig in, shoulder's up to their ears, holding on for dear life, trying to PROVE that they can balance, refusing to budge an inch. Still others start out fine but get blown away with their first thought which is usually "look at me! I'm balancing!" and off they go...

Long time yogis, ones who really "get" what yoga is all about, approach balancing the same way they approach all their poses.

Start with your foundation.
Root your feet.
Relax and find your breath.
Focus within
Accept what is, if it's there, it's there, if it's not, watch for what is.

In other words, Relax, Breathe, Feel, Watch, Allow....

Every time. Every pose. Or every day of your life. Or every moment. Just returning to center. Over and over. And settling in. Breathing. Yeah. Look there's another.

I could stand here all day. Just watching. Where are you centered?

And all is right with the world...

One of the biggest advantages of maturity is the realization that immediacy is not always permanent. When you are young it's hard to realize that the way you feel RIGHT NOW can change RIGHT THEN. When my kids were upset about something not so humongous, and feeling as if it was the end of the world, I used to ask them to wait a day. They would argue with me that a day wasn't going to make a difference, that I was crazy and I just didn't understand!!! And then the day would pass.

They never once admitted that there was some wisdom to my craziness. It was hard fought wisdom, I don't think I really figured it out til my 30s. And the funny thing is that it was my kids who taught it to me. I would drop them off for the first day of school, they would be miserable. Scared to death, in their younger years crying, being pried off of me, teachers glaring at me. Ugh. I would spend the entire day frantic, waiting for the phone call, expecting all kinds of horrible things and dreading picking them up and seeing the ruin on their faces that years & years of therapy would never erase. 6 hours of worrying, pacing, feeling like the worse mom on the planet. I'd get there a half hour early to pick them up, trying to talk with the other parents, trying to smile without my face cracking and then finally, out they would come...

Skipping cheerfully with new friends, "Mommy, Mommy! Meet so and so! Look at what I made!" From the deepest depths to the highest high... all in 6 hours.

Imagine what 24 hours can do.

Now, granted, this rule doesn't always work. Sometimes it may take 24 days. Or even 24 years. But as the Buddhists believe, "Everything and Everyone Changes". You can bet on it.

I think we may need to remember this right now...

No Followers?

You know, I think society is conspiring to make us feel bad about ourselves. Or maybe it's just me. Now Blogger has added the "Followers" gadget. Oh Lordy, another thing to obsess about! When MySpace first came out, the kids were competing to see how many "friends" they have. Rhia had something like 400 "friends". I was impressed. Until she told me she didn't know half of them. I refused to get a MySpace just cause I didn't want to have to worry about how many friends I had. Old people do not use MySpace... or they didn't.

I've had a Xanga for years. I had a fair amount of "subscribers", mostly kids. When I wanted to post stuff where the kids wouldn't see (I was doing a lot of theater at the time) I started up this Blogger. The intention was that no one would find me and I could write whatever I wanted. But human nature is such that I started finding other people cause I was curious who was here. I was cool with it being such a few folks but have to admit to occasionally being envious that other people had more "hits" on their site meter than me. Of course, this feeling was usually felt most when my yoga classes ebbed instead of flowed. It's funny, now I find I enjoy my xanga more cause I have made all kinds of really cool friends since it's so not cool anymore for the kids.

I got a Facebook because a marketing site said social marketing was the best marketing tool. (How many times can you fit marketing into a sentence?) I refused to befriend anyone--was strictly business-- but if they befriended me, I would add them. Lots of people befriended me.. trouble was I didn't know some of them. This makes me uneasy. Had a student come to yoga last night that I was very excited about when she befriended me cause I actually knew her and she was over 21!

So now Blogger wants me to put this follower thing up. What if no one follows me? I just can't take the pressure. I can't believe how courageous people are to install this. Or maybe it's just confidence.... or better yet, perspective. Most people that read my site are completely anonymous, I have no idea who you are. Who are you? Would you follow me? Ugh, just the question is pathetic....

This whole teenage "what if I threw a party and no one came?" thing has got to be awful for those teenagers who are constantly seeing other's partying or pretending to and they are sitting at home on Saturday nights. The whole thing is just disturbing. But in a strange way, very connecting. I have friends I keep up with now that I didn't before cause we were too busy... course now the busy-ness is all about trying to keep up other people's green patches and save the rain forest on Facebook LOL!

I don't know. I'm confused on this. And now I'm jealous that I don't have a family tree LOL! Ai yi yi-- what will they think of next?

BRRRR!

Last night, as usual, I went to sleep with a big old box fan in one window and a floor fan in the other. Can you say hot flashes? This morning there were icicles attached to my beard.

Yay! I love when the weather gets crisp. Cept all the plants are nasty so I'll have to start cutting them back. But the gourds are enormous and I am totally stoked about that. They will house a family of ten next year.

I am about as chipper as chipper can be. I am sold out of 4 of my bracelets already!! Course, if you make them one of a kind that makes it a little easier to sell out but woo hoo anyway! That's the thing I didn't think about. I'm all about newness. I don't know if I could mass produce the same kind of bracelet without my head rolling back and tongue lolling. Although, I sold my sacral one last night and went ahead and made another since I like it so much and it's on the front page of my website.... Oh and I sold some of my bath salts too! AND I signed up to get my Reiki Level 3 attunement in 2 weeks, I am thrilled about that. And if that's not all:

Yesterday I got the best gift! I am serious. A great yoga student friend of mine dropped these off on my porch in a beautiful bag covered with butterflies:

I LOVE THEM!!! They are my new favorite thing. I even brought the one doing bow pose to yoga last night for inspiration. I cannot look at them without smiling (and clapping my hands like a little child LOL) Aren't they great? She said I should put them in the garden but I don't think I can... Barry said we may have to build a special place just for them, like the naked lady glasses that circulate at Carl's Christmas party. (don't ask, I won't tell)

So there you have it. Life is good. Busy. But good. And cold. Cept I feel a hot flash coming on so: why is it so damn hot in here???? errrgh. JK. What's up in your neck of the woods?

Oh I almost forgot to tell you-- Rhia & I have been playing with iGoogle gadgets lately. If you want a quick what's happening with me go to: (link broken, email me for replacement) You have to have a iGoogle page to view it though. If you want to see Rhia's you'll have to ask her :) I'd love to add yours to my page if you have one-- send me a link.