Shadow Self

In SoulCollage, Seena talks about Shadow Selves, a Jungian philosophy. In the most simplistic terms it the counterbalance to Self. I understand it best in Yin/Yang terms. For every dark there is a light. Can't have light without dark. The shadow is the archetype to the extreme, for example, The Great Mother archetype can be taken to The Overbearing Mother. The Warrior in it's extreme can be The Warmonger. The Jester becomes The Fool.

I think this is a very useful way of being able to embrace all parts of ourselves. When we start attaching to one outcome--or thinking that there is only one way of being, we tend to limit the reality of ourselves. When we think we have to be all good and find it impossible, we tend to go to the extreme and think we are all bad. Embracing the good with the bad, the shadow with the positive helps us to be whole. There's a really good book on this called "The Dark Side of the Light" by Debbie Ford that really develops this theory.

At our SoulCollage gathering Friday I made these 2 cards. They really seemed to be opposite sides of the spectrum to me. The first is the child encased in stone. The adult is running away. It can also be said that the statue is strong....but cold. Intriguing.

The second is my Root Chakra card. A mountain. This mountain seems very warm, very strong. When I did the meditation, the mountain said it is alive, it is evolving, I will know it by the sun shining off the face of it.

I think both mountains/cards are very positive. But only if I embrace the dark as well as the light.

I have to think this through a bit more....there is something here, on the tip of my brain, swirling around....

I really like these cards, they seem so yin/yang to me. What do you think? Any insights to share? I haven't done the I am the One who exercise on them. I have a feeling they are going to come up in a reading and I don't want to spoil the surprise....

Meditating

Yesterday in my yoga class, I was attempting to teach the concept of acceptance. This is a difficult practice--especially when you are laying on a smelly gym floor. Or a freezing concrete one. Basically the technique is to get yourself as comfortable as you're going to be and then give up the attempt to get comfortable. So many times we spend the whole relaxation searching for that idea position that we think we will attain and THEN we can relax.

I got to thinking about what a life lesson that is. I spend a lot of my time trying to improve things: my schedule, my space, my family's lives, my body (conceptually) etc. thinking that if I just can get THIS done THEN everything will be perfect. Which of course just leads to something else that needs done.

There comes a point that you surrender to what is. Yes, it's cold. Feel the cold without labeling. In other words, can you take in how your body feels without analyzing and comparing? Like can you look at a tree without naming it? Unfortunately, these concepts are difficult to teach.. that's why teachers of the Tao always seem a bit out there... the Tao that can be named is not the Tao...

In meditation sometimes I stop being able to feel my body. Or rather, I no longer can tell where my body starts and the floor/air/cushion begins. I don't know whether I am breathing or the breath is just there, sometimes I forget to take the next breath and all motion stops. This is a delicious place. The absence of all. Supreme nothingness that encompasses all. Whoa.

You cannot teach that. You can only try and convince others to go there. And they can only go there when they surrender and allow themselves to be uncomfortable. Such a paradox for a teacher who dedicates her life to making others comfortable.

That floor is cold. It is hard to get beyond that some nights. It's much easier to stop feeling your body when it's in a hot tub. Tee Hee. I do my best meditating there....

Where Am I?

I came downstairs this morning, hit the bottom step and gasped. Who's house is this? I walk through the living room, slowly turning to all sides, in bare feet. Where's my nasty chewed up wood floor? Why is there cushioning under my feet? And why isn't there an enormous hockey table filled with crap taking up space? It feels so quiet, looks so peaceful, this can't be my house.

`

I move on, into the kitchen...oh there's the hockey table....sigh....but at least it's not covered with crap. Yet. Oh yeah, this is my house. But wait, as I move by my office, Wow! Look at that big room and all those windows! Who's house is that? This is just surreal. Wasn't that a garage that was downright dangerous to navigate through? It's so lovely, so clean... this can't be my house.

`

I get the sensation of the other shoe dropping. It's like there's no way all this good can happen...somewhere there's a clause or a monkey waiting with a pin to burst my bubble. I had such vivid dreams last night....what if this is just a continuation of that? What if I wake up and poof! it's all gone? What if it all never really happened and this is some kind of weird cosmic joke? I'm gonna wake up and live in a nasty house and be a telephone operator for the rest of my

life.....

`

Not that there's anything wrong with that....but just in case, I think I'll go roll on the new carpet some more....

`

Lost? Insert hockey table and 25 year old wood floor here:

If you see Barry, tell him he rocks!!!

Helmet Man

We had so much fun last night! We giggled, we rolled on the floor laughing, we were amazingly productive-- one woman who hasn't even taken the workshop made 6 cards!!! It was great fun. I am so excited, it was everything I hoped it would be, relaxing and fun, that's what SoulCollage can be. We ripped out many images and chatted and smiled, talked about our lives and our souls...ahhhh. The evening was supposed to end at 10pm. It was 1am when they finally left! Time just got away from us-- we never even knew it passed.



Funniest part of the night:



We were chatting about our Source cards and I asked one of the ladies who had taken the workshop if she had made hers yet. I invited her to use my Universe book-- that seems to be the most popular place for Source cards. She found a really cool background, green of course. Did I mention she's a bit obsessed with turtles and everything green? She's a LOT obsessed with turtles and green.... In fact, I was trying to explain to her that she may not even have a turtle in one of her chakras and I thought she was going to cry. "but Linda, I KNOW I have a turtle there, possibly 7 different types of turtles, one in each one!" Ummmm. Yeah.



Anyways, she finds this great background and I ask her if it's done and she's hemming and hawing like we are known to do when our images just don't "feel" done but we're not sure why. Suddenly she grabs this picture and starts laughing about maybe that's her Source... This is her God:



Helmet Man. God is Helmet Man. We all just died laughing, fell off of our chairs... yep, God is Helmet Man. All knowing, all wise but slightly hidden... yep, that's Him.

She grabs the glue and quickly pastes Him on. We go insane with witty repartee.... NOT! We got stupid with stupid jokes about God being a super hero and a turtle helmet dude... and oh, I will just spare you, it was very late. We were giddy. I begged her to let me scan it so I could show those of you who are not sure who God is. Well, now you know. He's a Helmet Man.
`

My apologies to all I have offended with this post. Guess you had to be there.
`

Did you know if you made a movie with Barbra Steisand and a pyschologist you could call it Mentyl? Or maybe Barbra Steisand with a toothache and call it Dentyl?
`

Just wondering. You should ask my friend Jenny about that....

Catching Up

Do you hold onto books? Or do you read them and pass them on? Or do you have special books that you keep... like maybe hardbacks and get rid of paperbacks?

I've been going through all my books lately to try and clear out some space. Having to make my office quasi-attractive is quite a chore. It's one thing if your office is only seen by you and your family but if you have people coming through to relax, I think stacks of paper and books are distracting. So I've been clearing out. I don't mind telling you this is making me nuts. And unfortunately the rest of the household is sort of tiptoeing around me....

When I was younger, I thought books were the most important thing in the world. I read like a crazy person, everything I could get my hands on. There used to be a Schoolhouse Rock? or Afterschool Special? or cartoon about a Reading guy.... man, I hate it when that happens, it's right on the tip of my brain.... nuttin'.... anyway, a guy who was obsessed with reading and couldn't stop. That was me. I would stay up all night, long after I was married, up until I had children, I just couldn't put a book down once I started it.

I thought that the most beautiful place in the whole world would have to be my own private library. The idea of Jane Eyre in the window nook in her Aunt's library was just delicious.... I wanted the nook, the library, not the Aunt of course! So, I saved every book I ever bought. And considering that I started working when I was 13 and spent every penny I could on books.... well, I have a lot of books. And then having children, I thought that would be the greatest gift I could give them... a love of reading... life saving. So of course, they have a lot of books. Everyplace in the house you can think of.. under all of our beds, the attics, the porch, in every room, even the kitchen... yikes.

No one ever mentions how much dust books collect. Especially when you are drywalling.

And am I really ever going to read Flowers in the Attic again? What a stupid series. But I insist that I wouldn't know anything about history if not for my historical romances.... oh, the hero almost beds down (that's what they call it, beds down) with the heroine who then hates him but the father finds them together and insists that they marry and they have some quasi-silly reason that they refuse to bed down again until their fingers brush against one another and they realize they were in love all that time... like 600 pages... but then she gets thrown in the French Bastille until Bastille Day which is when they released all the prisoners and were stunned to find out there were only 11 when they thought there were hundreds but they beheaded the guards anyway....

Good times.

So yeah. What am I supposed to do with all these books? I'm coming to the conclusion that if I ever really could afford a house with a library and a nook I could probably afford new dustless books and a maid to dust them in the future.

Whaddya think? But could I really part with my dog eared torn up copy of Gone with the Wind?

Oh and here's the funny part. After years of Barry bugging me to death about getting rid of my books, I had a box filled to get rid of that we had Rhia go through because we have a bad habit of hiding money in books.... He goes to carry the box out and reaches down and sees a ripped up, baby milk spit up and crayon colored paperback version of Dr. Spock. Our new parents bible.

"You're not getting rid of this! Are You? How could you?" with a positively wounded look on his face....

Unnh unnnh unnnnhhhhhhhh......