Meditating

Yesterday in my yoga class, I was attempting to teach the concept of acceptance. This is a difficult practice--especially when you are laying on a smelly gym floor. Or a freezing concrete one. Basically the technique is to get yourself as comfortable as you're going to be and then give up the attempt to get comfortable. So many times we spend the whole relaxation searching for that idea position that we think we will attain and THEN we can relax.

I got to thinking about what a life lesson that is. I spend a lot of my time trying to improve things: my schedule, my space, my family's lives, my body (conceptually) etc. thinking that if I just can get THIS done THEN everything will be perfect. Which of course just leads to something else that needs done.

There comes a point that you surrender to what is. Yes, it's cold. Feel the cold without labeling. In other words, can you take in how your body feels without analyzing and comparing? Like can you look at a tree without naming it? Unfortunately, these concepts are difficult to teach.. that's why teachers of the Tao always seem a bit out there... the Tao that can be named is not the Tao...

In meditation sometimes I stop being able to feel my body. Or rather, I no longer can tell where my body starts and the floor/air/cushion begins. I don't know whether I am breathing or the breath is just there, sometimes I forget to take the next breath and all motion stops. This is a delicious place. The absence of all. Supreme nothingness that encompasses all. Whoa.

You cannot teach that. You can only try and convince others to go there. And they can only go there when they surrender and allow themselves to be uncomfortable. Such a paradox for a teacher who dedicates her life to making others comfortable.

That floor is cold. It is hard to get beyond that some nights. It's much easier to stop feeling your body when it's in a hot tub. Tee Hee. I do my best meditating there....