A trip around my world

I'm not overly fond of snow.
Or cold.
It makes me grumpy.
I want to be outside without my shoulders up to my ears.
Or shivering.
I don't like the wetness on the bottoms of my pants.
Cause I'm short.
And then I can't tuck my feet up without getting my pants wet up higher.
The whiteness irritates me.
I'm all about green.
I don't like the desert as much either.
Too much brown.
Unless you find an oasis of green.
Then I love the desert.
As I write this it started snowing again.
Almost as if to mock me.
Which is another reason not to like snow.
It makes you irrational.

My fingernails are clean.
Which is a bad sign for seasonal depression.
I must get my hands in dirt regularly or things get dicey.
And I don't mean dust.
Of which there is no shortage of in my home.
Because of the stupid cold.
Which creates the stupid furnace to run constantly.
Which blows the dust around.
And is starting to sound like a jet engine taking off.
Which must be a bad sign.
If I was on a jet that sounded like that I would get my parachute ready.
That squeaking can't be good.
And my brother the HVAC dude is still angry at me.
Over a text message 5 years ago.
Technology is bad.

But not as bad as winter.
Just saying.

What a longggg, strange trip it's been.

In an hour I go teach my first paying yoga class at my new studio.  The last paying yoga class I taught there was in 2002 ( I think) It was to 4 year olds, therapeutic nursery school kids.  They didn't pay but I worked for the nursery school that did.  I can't remember their names per se, but I do hear their voices.  I remember the hugs, the tears, the laughter and the screaming.  I can see some of their faces, the joy on them as they balanced in tree, the frustration when they didn't.  I see the first time they could close their eyes for a second, knowing they were safe... usually by the end of the school year, sadly.

The room that I spent the last few years of my teaching children career is now my yoga studio. It would be very hard to tell that it was ever the rainy day room for 3 nursery schools.  It's beautiful, serene.. a calming space.  A far cry from the last 20 years in that spot.  The final preps for the first class in that room involved my daughter, who also taught there, and I, remembering the time out spots and sending distant Reiki Healing to the past. With my new partner we joined hands and said prayers of healing and reconciliation, vowing to honor their voices and create lasting peace.

The weekend was a whirlwind of excitement and emotion.  Many, many friends dropped by and marveled at the transformation. So many kind words were spoken about how happy folks are that we are staying at CCPC, that we are shepherding a new era for the education building.  I feel as if my cup has indeed runneth over.  I am making myself feel it is real, even through the sense of surrealness... I am continuing to breathe even though I feel like holding my breath, holding on to this moment. I almost afraid to go to the class today, for fear no one will come.. that it really was just a dream... that I have now woken up and will have to try to convince people to lay on the cold Sanctuary floor and lug my stuff from here to there and back again.

I'm happy to get back to work.  I'm happy that the search for a home is over.  I'm thrilled that I have landed back where I started. I am blessed to be able to bring healing where it is so desperately needed.

Happy New Year,  Jenny, David, Tarik, Malik, Gianni, Shannon, Robbie, Cassidy and all the rest of you beautiful children, where ever you are...

Christmas Eve

Well, it's here. Christmas Eve.  We just got done wrapping the presents. It's been a busy, busy day... sort of like the whole year.  We're getting ready to go to church because *gasp* Cory & Rhia are lighting the advent candles.  Yes, you read that right, Cory.  I don't believe Cory has set foot in church for at least 5 years.  But this means the world to his sister so he's going to do it.  We were asked to light the candles the first year we officially joined the church.  They wanted us to light them Christmas Eve.  Unfortunately, they wanted us to light them there... and not in California, which is where we were.  Ugh, we were devastated.  We had gotten baptised together, all four of us, at the beginning of that December.  It would have been lovely to also light the candles but it was also lovely that someone else had the honor that year.

Trouble is, they never asked again.  Until this year.  The Youth Director sent an email to Rhia asking for her and Cory.  Cory.  Oh dear.  Now it's not that Cory isn't a believer, quite the contrary.  He has a natural faith that is remarkable.  Unfortunately, it's not in church or Christianity.  He really turned against organized religion a few years ago due to a succession of what he considered hypocritical Christians... don't get him started.  It's sad because although I have trouble with organized religion and/or the church, I love for our family to go to church together.  Especially at Christmas.

Long before we officially joined the church, we would bundle up our little sweethearts and take them to church Christmas Eve to get a piece of Jesus' birthday cake.  I would love to hear them sing the Christmas carols, they knew every word.  We had taught them about Jesus, God... and Buddha, Karma, Taoism... we wanted them to decide what they believed. And so they did.  But as I tell my wonderful son over and over, I never expected him to throw the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak.  In other words, you cannot judge Jesus by Christian's actions.  Unfortunately, the reflection is not always accurate.  We are human.

But tonight he will come to church.  And he will light the candles.  And he will make his family very, very happy. 

It's a lovely Christmas eve.  Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Wanting...

You ever really want something so much that you are afraid to want it?  Law of attraction folks would have a heyday with that.

Feel like laying my burdens down and resting my cares and singing an old African spiritual.

I never cease to be amazed at the twists and turns and full circles of my life.  What fun it is to be a witness.  Not so much being the star of the show. Ugh.

Sometimes I forget who I am.  And then I remember.

Thank God for deep breath.

I don't know about you but I am not thrilled with this cold weather.  Stupid story:  Yesterday Barry & I decided we hadn't gone up to our meditation shack since my operation.  We got the grand idea that we should put plastic over the screens to keep the wind out and in our morning Christmas shopping, picked up a small heater. (He put Christmas Lights on the silly thing so there's forbidden electric up there so I figure we may as well use it for something useful... OH SNAP!)  Anyways, so we're fighting with the plastic cause it's windy and cold and the adhesive won't stick.  We're grumpy cause we've been working REALLY hard lately and have had no time to just chill (literally in this case)  So we're sort of getting agitated but we perservere and get the plastic up, turn the heater on and sit.

Nothing.  Freezing.  We forgot that the floor is a deck. Ugh. We need to carpet.  Suddenly it dawns on us how ridiculous this is.  We are looking down at our warm, cozy new windowed house.  On the way to the warm, cozy new windowed house is a freaking HOT tub.  What the heck is wrong with us?

Yesterday turned out to be a really good day.  Once we put our brains back in our heads.

Lordy. 

I'm Baaaaaack...

Whew.  After a large hiatus, I can now blog again.  I had business stuff to attend to, which made me unable to blog honestly... and if I can't say what I want without censoring, it's just too damn hard to let it flow.  But the grand announcement has been made, I have an "official" business blog now and I can get back to this personal blog.. just letting it all hang out, warts and all.

Where would I even start?  I'm totally exhausted.  I'm feeling a bit rebellious.  I'm agitated. But it's all good. I think.  Just Christmas time in the city... ring a ling...

Anyways, I will be moving my business posts to my new combined business blog of which I will insert a link to here or you can just look to your right and see the link.  It's Imagine Yoga & Wellness.  This blog will contain my ramblings that may or may not be uplifting.. sort of like an accident scene.. you may move along, nothing to see here... unless you appreciate the wild ravings of a lunatic mind.

Wishing you glad tidings of comfort and joy.  For real.