Balance

I have been working on balance. No, not physically, other than that sharp wind from the left in the Sanctuary trying to knock me over, my physical balance is good. It's the emotional balancing that tends to get a bit tricky.

Learning to navigate the work, family, self, show, friends, river is very challenging for me. I have often said I have the opposite of ADD-- I can only focus on one thing at a time and it tends to consume me. I have to really drag myself from my task once I'm in it and get very irritated when I am interrupted. This was quite a pickle when the kids were little and we had 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 rabbits, 2 guinea pigs, 100 fish and in and out foster children. There was no such thing as focus. I couldn't even focus in the bathroom... sometimes I would open the door to find the whole lot of them standing there looking at me impatiently.

Ok, well, maybe not the fish. But the rest of them!

Since the occupants of my home have dwindled down, I have had more opportunities to focus. But because it is my life's task to learn to structure (according to that book) I have scattered my own energies, diversifying and making the attempt to balance all my "stuff".

Currently I am working on:

Evening at CCPC
Getting my jewelry stock back up & filling custom orders
Private & Group Yoga classes
Gathering people and info for the next play
Reiki Appts.
SoulCollage workshops
My newsletter
Preparing for the Space Launch trip
Keeping in contact w/my daughter in NC
Helping my son here with sliced fingers and future planning
Email, email, email
Dragging my self off Facebook & Twitter
Tarot readings
Sending Reiki energy to the World Peace grids
Watering my poor dying plants
Cleaning my wretched house by Thursday for the yoga classes here
Attempting to talk w/my husband while trying to keep up with the never ending DVR overload
My own yoga/meditation/reading practice Ha.
Blogging, sha right.
Making myself exercise for an hour every day

It doesn't help that I tend to go off on one tangent and get stuck (facebookers, can you hear me?) and then have to perform crisis management to catch the rest up. I keep thinking I should organize by the hour.... this hour for this, that hour for that, this day, that day... it seems a bit overwhelming. Which is why I am frequently writing my newsletter at midnight.

Sometimes it seems as if a 9-5 job would be such a vacation. But I love, love, love what I am doing. I have met the coolest people and have felt the most amazing energy (last night was unbelievable) I wouldn't trade my life for a million dollars.

Well. Maybe parts of it.

Remember the principles of balance: Focus. Allow yourself to sway, don't try and hold still, balance is fluid. Empty completely into one side without leaning. Keep the core strong.... OH.... that's the one I missed.

Talk to you soon. Love ya!

January 21st.

Last night we raised a glass to toast the new President. The group at yoga was small, having been moved from our big Sanctuary to my place--it's a bit more intimate. We spent the first 20 minutes discussing our impressions of the day, and since we were all of like mind, our excitement was evident. It was hard to settle down to yoga--living so close to DC made it possible to actually feel the wave of energy emanating from those millions on the mall-- but I know how important it is to breathe deep, settle in and be in the moment.

Keeping level is important. Throughout the last eight years, those of us that realized the magnitude of the events occurring without our control, without our input, had to learn to bide our time. Those years were very important because we had to learn to go with the flow, trust in a better time to come. To learn the truth of what is up...will come down... and pray for the time when what is down will be salvaged. This is where we are. And yes, though we celebrate, it remains important to stay level. We know in our hearts that the road is long and filled with ups and downs. We need to stay in our hearts, in this moment, in this time.





One of my favorite cards in the Osho deck is Success:

It seems so relevant today. Especially with the tiger walking on the world. It's all about riding the tiger of success, celebrating with a tickertape parade... "enjoy it, and share your joy with others - and remember that all bright parades have a beginning and an end. If you keep this in mind, and squeeze every drop of juice out of the happiness you are experiencing now, you will be able to take the future as it comes without regrets. But don't be tempted to try to hold on to this abundant moment, or coat it in plastic so that it lasts forever. The greatest wisdom to keep in mind with all the phenomena in the parade of your life, whether they be valleys or peaks, it that 'this too will pass'. Celebrate, YES, and keep on riding the tiger.

Enjoy the peak while it lasts and then enjoy the valley when it comes. What is wrong with the valley? What is wrong with being low? It is a relaxation. A peak is an excitement, and nobody can exist continuously in an excitement."

This is what President Obama was saying in his inaugural address and over and over in all his speeches since he was elected. We must stay level and not allow the highs and lows to rule our consciousness. We have learned that things are never in our control.. they never were... and we can survive and learn from others mistakes as much as our own. In many ways we are blessed with new knowledge of what is important: working with others, not trusting that 'big daddy' will take care of us...sometimes we need to seize the moment and trust our instincts and do what our hearts tell us to do-- and most importantly, not allow fear to stop us from doing it. And let us not forget Hope.. it's a real generator of change.

I am breathing in and breathing out... just a bit easier now. Namaste'

Mercury Retrograde

Yep, that's right. It's a Mercury Retrograde. Now, I joke about this in yoga all the time--it's sort of the catch all excuse for being unable to balance, being late, missing phone calls.... We can't be responsible for what happens during a Mercury Retrograde....

Now, I'm not going to go into what a Mercury Retrograde is here because God knows, it'll somehow get screwed up because of the MR but here's a link if you'd like to know more: http://www.skyscript.co.uk/merc_ret.html

Part of me believes this stuff, part of me is cynical but some of me has seen and felt way too many things to count it out. I realized this morning that I was attempting to call the MR hogwash while superstitiously trying to make sure none of my appliances break. But then it dawned on me... some people call an MR a "do over" or a chance to re-visit issues that need some work, that weren't complete...

Hmmm. Yep. Boy oh boy am I re-visiting issues right now. I'm in the middle of putting on a show. It's sort of like plopping me straight down in the middle of how a huge part of my life was spent a couple years ago. Without all the drama. Or well, without a lot of the drama. And fairly, without me creating all my drama by over reacting to others drama. But I feel it.... I feel the triggers. And I am spending some time staying very present to those triggers and trying to keep perspective so I don't react to them.

I am staying & feeling very positive about this show. It has been amazing how helpful and excited everyone is. The creativity is astounding-- and it has been really FUN. I miss hanging out, giggling and coming up with outlandish ideas.

They say the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and expect different results. Not only am I diligently avoiding doing the same things... I am trying very hard to understand that others may not be aware of this definition and are just conditioned to think things need to be the way they were... not as they are. That seems like the way to handle a MR. Be mature enough to understand that others are experiencing it too so there's no need to take it personally.

I wonder when a MR will come and I will be so maturely enlightened that I won't have to revisit the same insecurities I have faced my whole life? Don't answer that. Course, it probably wouldn't be so tough if I wasn't having to re-visit all my other issues at the same time. Like my bunny going back to school. And the same stuck conflict that rules my world. And those damn tree cutters being back.

Daggone Mercury.

Much Ado over Nothing

Hello.

How are you?

I am well. Thanks for asking.

My blogging brain seems to be stuck. Or frozen.

Have you noticed as you get older, it gets a little harder to shift gears? Like, I was in massive busy work mode then I was in vacation mode and I really need to be in back to work mode but I'm feeling sort of sluggish and bored. 2008 ended on a really good note work wise. My classes were full. I had a great month for sales at Fabian House and online. I had many asking for and receiving Reiki. I had quite a few people buy gift certificates for their loved ones. I was really feeling like a self employed business owner. It was cool.

2009 is starting out with a bang personally. Cory got conned and robbed. We are crazy trying to make our way to Ricky's space shuttle launch. I have a boatload of work to do with the Evening at CCPC but am having trouble getting things together due to the endless over commitment cycles over there. The house is kinda crazy and we are still not exactly sure how Rhia's going back to school. It feels a bit...spiraling out of control? Just a bit. Barry & I have been walking every night and that feels like the high point of the day right now. Not that the rest is a low point. Just that it feels impossible to manage it all. You know?

Professionally, it's fine. Been making my yoga students a bit nuts with shifts in poses but I suspect that has as much to do with them being in the same mode as me. It's hard to get back into routine. As much as you love what you're doing there's always the feeling that the couch and a good book would be a nicer option on a cold rainy day.

Speaking of... have you read The Shack yet? Very interesting book. Seems as if it would be depressing because of the tragedy factor but instead it is very uplifting and thought provoking.

Anyway. Have a nice day.

Sincerely,
Me

Happy New Year

This year for my upcoming year reading, I did a Horoscope layout. It was very interesting. You start at the left corner in Aries. Aries Represents Self, which seems appropriate since I am Aries. So here's what it had to say:

1. Aries--Self: Existence. Existence is one of my favorite cards in the deck, in fact, the mural that is on the wall in my spirit room is inspired by this card and the Friendliness card which came up in the Cancer--Roots portion of my reading. Existence is the Magician in other decks. Hmm, me as a magician? Smile. It's all about knowing that I am necessary, that the world would not be the same if I wasn't here, I see it as remembering my value. A beautiful start.

2. Taurus--Personal Resources: Clinging to the Past. aka keeping your head in a box. It took me a bit to get this one. It's all about letting go of how things were to create how things can be. Learning to release the past enables you to embrace the future. Once you put the box down.

3. Gemini--Environment: Innocence. How wonderful! This is the Sun card, all about light and enjoyment in basic moments. Also one of my favorite cards, it shows an older gentle-man talking to a grasshopper with cherry blossoms floating down. I'm sure it's no coincidence that my mural also has cherry blossoms floating... what a lovely card in my environment.

4. Cancer--Roots: Friendliness. This card is all about understanding that while relationships are good, we enjoy the beauty of them and when it's time to move on, we let go. Without regrets and with a smile. It's about not trying to control. Coming up in my Roots is significant. Letting go is a major part of my life right now.

5. Leo--Self Expression: Creativity! Woo Hoo! It doesn't get any better than Creativity in your Self Expression sector. I have a framed picture of this card in my Children and Creativity section of my house, it's the first card I ever framed. It's all about understanding that we ALL are creative as long as what we do is pure and loving and we allow it to come through us "possess us with the creative force". It's why chopping vegetables can be just as creative as painting a masterpiece....

6. Virgo--Health & Service: Schizophrenia. Sigh. Yep. This is all about being trapped in a dualistic mind, "should I do this or that?" And yeah, it's appropriate in this section. It's the constant battle with food and exercise and finding time. It's letting me know to just do it, stop procrastinating and trying to figure out how. Got it. 30 pounds is part of my letting go... No more excuses.

7. Libra--One on One Relationships: Flowering. This brings a special smile... In tarot, you have what is known as a Significator card--a card that represents you. This is mine. She is the Queen of Rainbows, if you've been in my office you've seen the large poster my husband framed as a gift for me a few years ago. It's all about spreading your seeds, joyously, without care where they land... being fully alive and aware. This is my life, my work and what I love to do. In the One on One place is where I'm most comfortable.

8. Scorpio--The Past: Thunderbolt. This is the one that took my breath away. Most of you who have received a reading from me in the past 6 months have seen this card... it keeps coming up over and over. I am particularly concerned about it coming up in my past section but it's not a surprise. It's the Tower in most decks. It's about structures being torn down and making the decision to go down with them or JUMP. This is about the whole world right now. Nuff said.

9. Sagittarius--Learning: The Creator. Deep Breath. Yes. Creator is just what it says. About our Creator and about the masterpiece you have within you if you just get out of the way. Or JUMP out of the way. I am Learning.

10. Capricorn--Life Task: Understanding. This is a beautiful card with a large dove flying out of a cage with bars that are disappearing. Understanding that you put the bars there is a large part of your life task. So appropriate. Watch me fly....

11. Aquarius--Friendships: Ripeness. Another letting go card. "when the fruit is fully ripe, ready to burst with life, the tree doesn't try to hold onto it... it lets go so the fruit can realize it's full potential" This is a very poignant card for me, positive and a bit sobering. Many of my friendships and relationships have come to Ripeness...I love watching them share their "juice", without me.

12. Pisces--The Hidden: Abundance. Woo Hoo again! I just love that line "the hidden abundance" We all have so much abundance available right now if we just turn off the news and put down the paper... it's all around us and within us. Thanks be to God.

So there you have it. My 2009. Looks like it will be a wonderfully enlightening year... just like last year. And the year before....

Deep, deep breath...Namaste'