On being real.

An Excerpt from The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams:

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

When I start to get bogged down and tired of replaying the same old aggravations and insecurities, when I get down on myself and chastise myself for expecting perfection, I remember that I am real. I am real. My hair has turned gray, my eyes are dropping out and I am quite loose in my joints. Sometimes my heart feels a bit tired but never broke. Sometimes my spirit feels a little shabby, like the years have taken off the shine but when I spend some time with it, I find the light is still there. When I get a little ragged because the things that seem important to me are not important to those closest to me, I have to remember what's really important;  birth... life.... death... rebirth... Sa Ta Na Ma.

I say what I mean. I am who I am. I can't change how others feel about me, only myself. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Sometimes I choose suffering, but then I remember the Skin Horse. Wisdom is not easy, people may not always understand or 'get it' but the realness makes it worth it. I can't pretend to care any more than I can pretend I don't care.

This too shall pass.