revelations

In preparing for my open house, I decided it would be a good idea to put new herbs in and sew an extra seam on my remaining eye pillows. While doing so, I had a major revelation:

I HATE TO SEW!!!

And not only that, but:

I DON'T HAVE TO SEW IF I DON'T WANT TO!!

And then:

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

Over and over, people have patiently and generously offered to sew my products for me since I am feeble at it. I pooh pooh them away, most martyr like-- "oh no, I will do it, I'll get better, don't worry about me".

And then like a double fool, tell folks, "so if anything happens to your eye pillow, like the seams rip out since I am so feeble, just bring it back and I will fix it for you" Because it's not bad enough to sew it once... I like to do it 4 or 5 times. Arrrrrgh!

So, I'm in the middle of cursing and ripping out the fabric that's stuck in that little place where the stupid bobbin thingy wants to grab it and tangle everything up, causing me to get out my vacuum cleaner to try and suck out all the fibers cause I'm not patient enough to take the whole freaking thing apart AGAIN, I mean really, who needs 6 screws to hold down one little plate to cover some stupid thread???? And it occurs to me:

BOINNNNGGGGG!!! I DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS!

Like who cares if I can't sew? I am really good at lots of things-- why do I feel the need to torture myself? Like, I don't win acceptance to the freakin June Cleaver school if I can't sew.

WELL GOOD! I don't want to be June Cleaver anyways. This is interfering with my application to the Mother Teresa school anyway, all this cursing.

So there you have it. I am going out of business!!! From now on, I will grow the herbs and put the concoctions together and if anyone wants to put them in a pillow, go for it. Not me!

Sheesh. Now I understand why my mother always told me I was hardheaded.