How do you spell "Breath?"

I slept until 11:30am yesterday. Me. Until 11:30. Unreal. I was exhausted. I am still quite a bit drained. I had no idea it was 11:30 cause my clocks were still blinking from the power going out and I was too tired to re-set it. It made me think about what time I would eat and sleep and wake and play if I didn't know what time it was.


I don't think it would be 11:30. But I didn't get to bed til after 3. Or 2? Or maybe 4? Don't know, clocks weren't working. Why the late hour? Well, most of my readers know--cause they were there....at my daughter's graduation party. (At least the ones who live in Maryland) There were over 4 million people there. All at once. Just in my kitchen.


Now, don't get me wrong. It was a wonderful, lovely, amazing time. I am blown away by the generosity and kindness people showed toward my daughter. She was blown away. We put the cards that she received on our piano last night and she was looking at them and said,


"they make me sad"


ME: "why?!"


"cause look at all the people I will be leaving who love me..."


"the people who love you are thrilled that you are leaving"


To which my son starts chortling "YEAH, They can't wait for you to leave!!!! ahahahahaha" cause he's 5 years old. And perhaps that didn't come out exactly as I planned. I'm a little tired.


So now the party (and all the planning and cleaning and cooking and serving and cleaning up) is over. Now what? It's like we're on a roller coaster just about to the top of that first really huge hill.... and even though you know it's going to be a great ride and everything will be just fine, there's that slight moment of panic and anticipation just before it starts careening down completely out of your control and into the hands of God and the roller coaster operator which is probably just a computer anyway but I guess that's just a digression designed to take my mind off of that little butterfly in my stomach saying, "your life is about to change humongously and even your next door neighbor is moving which really isn't all that much of an impact except that it magnifies the whole everything you've known for the last 21 years is going to be very, very different and that will be a bit of an adjustment to say the least...."


Do I seem hysterical to you? I think I'm just tired. Brain and heart are at odds. It will be just fine. The roller coaster excitement has been building and building and just like when you experience labor for the first time and you have that brief "WAIT, I CHANGED MY MIND!!!!!" moment when you think you may not be able to bear the pain cause it's unlike anything you've ever known but you just start to breath deep..... and trust.... and then they put the most beautiful gift you've ever received in your arms.....


It's just like that.


Time for the butterfly to get ready to fly.