Blogs from my web site

The Way
Listen closely and you can hear them...
the great spirits of every tribe the ones who were here before us
Listen to what they are saying
There is one who calls himself Gandhi and another who calls himself King
They know that the way is not easy
There is a woman named Teresa and many who are simply known as Grandmothers and Grandfathers and all of them whisper into our ear..
'Don't give up' they tell us...
'Don't become cynical...
' 'Take one more step...'
'There is a reason...'
(May this day bring you joy!
Ron Atchison The Mayor of Inspiration Peak http://www.inspirationpeak.com/

Ramtha says "The only bad days I ever have are ones where I allow myself to feel sorry for myself" What do you do when you went to bed angry and you wake up noticing the gorgeous colors of the trees outside your bathroom window and you come downstairs determined to have a great day, get back on your track but you can't even find a place to sit because of other people's messes left behind, so you reach to pick up a pillow that's been thrown onto the floor and your hand goes into something cold and gooey and you realize it's dog doo doo and you scream and fling it but you only have to then find it so you can clean it up but first you have to get it out from underneath your fingernails which is about the most disgusting thing you can imagine?

Hmmm. What would you do?

In Conversations With God, God says, "Whenever you don't know what to do, ask yourself, 'what would love do?' and the Way will be made clear" The Way. Hmmm, I suppose it's no accident that Tao is literally translated to "The Way". Or that when Jesus came He said, "I am the Way, the Truth and the Light"

What would Gandhi do? What would Mother Teresa do?

Yeah, I laughed, cleaned it up, blogged about it and now I think I'll make a Thanksgiving altar. I'll start with I'm thankful I don't have dog doo doo on my hands anymore.......




Wednesday, November 1, 2006

Power

So every now and then I go to a site called My Spirit Oracle http://www.spiritproject.com/oracle/companions/index.htm
It's a fun, pick a card, tell your fortune sort of place. I like it cause it has pretty pictures and makes you wait for the text which forces me to slow down and pay attention to what I think the picture represents.
Today I get:

The Sun
New Powers are growing within you. You don't have to do anything but realizewho you really are and let your personality shine thru.Smile- and the world smiles back at you.

And I realize that's the word that keeps cropping up since I started this web site. Power. Usually I don't really like the word Power. It seems scary, having more to do with others as in "that rich guy has a lot of power" I don't really like to think the word has anything to do with me. Although I realize it may. Just a different definition of Power. As in "that woman realized that all along she held the power of truth, visualization and love right in her heart".

"The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own.
No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame.
The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.
This is the day your life really begins."
Bob Moawad Inspirational Author, Speaker and Coach

Now that's Power! Knowing who you really are. And I would add, knowing how to get back when you've lost your way. That's the real Power.
Very Cool.

9:21 am est

Monday, October 30, 2006

Yoga

So, my yoga class this morning was heavenly. Had a woman come up afterwards and kiss me on the cheek "this is for you" she says. Had another come up and tell me she never thought she'd be able to lay down for soooo long (we did a 5 minute relaxation) but once she got into it she couldn't believe how quick 5 minutes really is.
Kinda sad that people get anxious about resting for 5 minutes. I understand it, I was once like that....oh, who am I kidding? I still have a really hard time resting. I have to make myself slow down. Sort of like:

Sounds of Silence

Four monks decided to meditate silently without speaking for two weeks. By nightfall on the first day, the candle began to flicker and then went out. The first monk said, "Oh, no! The candle is out."
The second monk said, "Aren't we not suppose to talk?"
The third monk said, "Why must you two break the silence?"
The fourth monk laughed and said, "Ha! I'm the only one who didn't speak."
John Suler, Phd, Zen Stories6:43 pm est

Ahhh Time!

Heh heh, time is a wonderful thing.

I made a website. http://mysite.verizon.net/vze3hvnp

It's pretty amazing what you can do if you have the mind....ooops, I mean the time.

Heh, heh.

Healing

On the bulkhead around my kitchen, my husband and I have written favorite quotes and silly sayings we have come across in our 26 years together. One of them is from a little restaurant we used to hang out at called El Toritos. Around the bar it said, "I feel more like I do now than I did when I first got here." We used to sit around this bar with our friends and try and figure out what it really meant. We would change the emphasis on different words as if that would change the meaning, "I FEEL more like I do now" "I feel more like I do NOW, than I DID when" "I feel more LIKE I do now" on and on we would try and comprehend what it really meant. Of course, after a few margaritas it would just dissolve into complete silliness.

Sometimes we lose ourselves. We get caught up in drama and persecutions, real or imagined. We have the person inside that we are and we have the person outside that we are afraid we are. We walk around with big exclamation marks in our heads, feeling as if we are under attack and the more we try and defend ourselves, the more we lose ourselves.

Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner. Tao 9

Today I harvested my herbs. The wind was blustery, I am covered with the smell of rosemary, pineapple mint, oregano, thyme and lavender. I am filled with anticipation of the things I can make and give away. I am giddy at the prospect of having time to create what I want to create. I am a cheerful giver once again.

I feel more like I do now, than I did when I first got here.

Wow

It just keeps getting worse and worse. Man, am I getting a message from the Universe or What?

all that matters is the blame......

Into the Woods

Welp, another play is finished. Very bittersweet, this one. I had what I thought was a terrific idea (and I still do) and decided we could do 2 casts, one younger and one older. The older could teach the younger so the little guys would have a mentor and the older could discover their inner nurturer. In some cases that worked. In others it didn't. The play was awesome. The children, old and young, had a wonderful time. They learned so much and really developed some nice self confidence along the way. We made some great new friends and got to spend some joyous time with old ones.

I think I may be done. I cried all afternoon. I just don't know if I can keep doing this. I love the plays, I love the children, I love the parents who volunteer their precious time. I just cannot deal with the ugliness surrounding it. I just don't think I can keep going to a place where there are people who want things like this to fail because it didn't meet their agenda. I am so sad. I feel like everything I know to be true is wrong. This church has hurt me so deeply. How can people look at the smiles on these children faces and find negativity? Why is it that it is more important to criticize than to do?

I am drained and tired. I am wounded. Perhaps church is just not for me. What will I do with my yoga students? And the children and their parents who are hugging me saying they can't wait for the next one? How can I save my sanity when I feel like there are those who wish ill upon me? And what is that about? I don't ever claim to be perfect or even anywhere near it but why do I attract such ugliness? It must be in me and I just don't see it. Sigh. I feel like I have gone out of my way to behave with integrity and compassion but there are always those who cannot see it. And why does it bother me so?

Because I thought these people were my family. The body of Christ.

The children were awesome. Both casts! What a joy to work with them, to see them grow in confidence and develop close friendships and camaraderie. I am blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful people who support me in my endeavors. I do know this. I do know that I should not allow the very few who oppose everything to control me. I am just tired. I feel like I have been fighting since the day I joined this church. I need to take some time and sort it all out and decide what to do.

I just keep feeling like God is giving me a message about finding Him myself. I was so close to Him before I joined this church. I feel so lost sometimes without Him. I get so caught up in the stupid drama at that building that I forget to just be quiet and listen. Perhaps religion is just truly not my path. I seem to have lost my way somehow. I will take some time to find it again.

"The way is clear, the light is good,
I have no fear and no one should.
The woods are just trees, the trees are just woods
and everything you learn there will help when you return there.

Into the woods--you have to grope,
But that's the way you learn to cope.
Into the woods to find there's hope
Of getting through the journey.
Into the woods, each time you go,
There's more to learn of what you know"

How wonderful the children were!